Dry Spell.

You thought I'd forgotten...I haven't. I have guiltily been allowing the days to pass without posting, for that I am sorry. There are many stories to be shared -- the difficulty lays in how to cut them all down so that they fit in a readable post and a good night's rest for a sleep-deprived 3rd grade teacher. Let me sum up:

1. I just pulled a BUG that had embedded itself into my flesh out of my big toe. I noticed it as an egg about a week ago, but didn't think it was an egg until it hatched today. Gross. Also, no more open-toed shoes at school for me.

2. I just moved into a new classroom because they are knocking my old one down. You don't know SUCKY until you have to see 3 weeks of hard work go down the drain as you have to move as much as you can to a room half the size and down a big flight of stairs in the span of an afternoon while still teaching a class of rowdy 3rd graders.

3. I am a bad teacher.

4. The parents are coming to scope out the pad this week! EEP!

5. My kids are hilarious. I never knew it was possible to simultaneously love and want to scream at 19 children all at once.

6. Jamie made a really good eggplant frittata the other day. He's the greatest. He is also the only thing keeping me sane at this point.

7. I rule at Madden 2004. (Disclaimer: Madden 2004 only happens on Fridays and Saturday mornings in the Long/Umezaki hovel).

8. I don't think an MAT is worth the pain and suffering they are making me go through...

9. I cannot believe that I have to pay that much in taxes when I make that little in salary. Holycrap. And...

10. I am so, incredibly, without-a-doubt, thankful that I decided not to do the CNN thing. I cannot even fathom how awful it would be to have my failed attempts at teaching captured on television for all the Dan Rather fans to see...

More later?

Mmmm...Slanty.

Conversation with a colleague at school. As a sidenote, it took her a while to warm up to me.

Colleague: So, what are you? You're Chinese, right?
Me: Well...no...but -
C: - but you're ORIENTAL.
Me: I guess you could say that. My parents are actually from Peru.
C: Is that in China?
Me: No, it's a country in South America...
C:...but, you're ORIENTAL.
Me: My grandparents migrated from Japan to Peru...
C: ...so that's why your slant-eyed [pulls the edges of her eyes outward to make slanty eyes].
Me: Ya. [eep.]
C: But Chinese and Japanese are the same thing, right? Like, you could say that you're Chinese. You're just from a different part of China.
Me: No, actually, my grandparents came from Japan...but that's a whole other country than China.
C: But you all look the same! Would you be insulted if I called you Chinese?
Me: Personally, no. But it would be like me saying that Jamaicans and Africans are the same.
C: [angry teacher stare]...no they're not!!
Me: ...
C: ...
C: Do you speak perunesey?

It was later decided that I had to bring dumplings to our potluck because obviously I know how to make Chinese dumplings. How I love being the only Asian person anywhere near this school.

Update on the teaching: yesterday was the worst day yet. Today was the best one. Go figure. Have yet to cry...although it did cross my mind twice this week. Can I just say that I love my kids. The other day I just wanted to stop being their mean ol' teacher and HUG THEM ALL.

P.S. The idea that a TEACHER WHO HAS BEEN TEACHING FOR 30 YEARS didn't know that Peru was a country -- much less, knew that China and Japan were different countries -- is frightening.

P.P.S. The fact that I have to go to class for four hours on a Saturday morning after having taught 3rd graders all week makes me want to die. DIE. It has crossed my mind more than once that this whole "getting my Masters while teaching 3rd grade" thing was a very bad idea.

[Don't] Tell Me Box.

Somebody please tell me why my kids cannot spell "school" but have no problem spelling "dick lips". Please.

Today I introduced the "Tell Me" box, so that my lovely little angels would simply exert their tattletale tendencies on paper rather than in the middle of my lessons. This morning, the box was empty, and when I picked it up after school I actually dropped it because of the weight of the little slips of paper stuffed into it (granted, I wasn't expecting it to be heavy at all and therefore did not really try to get a good grip on it).

Among my favorites?

"ronald was cousen. Love, Dorian"

"ronald sed the b word."

And a nice little series from Sae'Quan:

"Alexis be making up stuff about people. From Sa'Quan" (this was the most spelling accurate -- sigh -- note I received. The only word he mispelled was his own name).

"Davan [Davon] hit Jawel [Jewel]. From Sae'Quan."

"Micaiah said I like Jewel. From Sae'Quan".

Oh boy, how happy I am to return to 3rd grade...

For the most part, the kiddies were ANGELS today and I am in love with them. I'm definitely not a good teacher yet. If I had to say what these kids learned today I would be hardpressed to find ONE thing. But, I am surviving and the kids are warming up to the thought of learning. I need to find a way to get through the afternoon unscathed (the mornings are great). I'm thinking of making them run laps after resource...

I called a parent last night, and this morning she sat in my class for the first twenty minutes and proceeded to yell at her son every two minutes. "WHERE IS YOUR NOTEBOOK??" "PAY ATTENTION TO THE TEACHER!!" "WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU??"

It was distracting to say the least and as soon as she left, her son completely shut down and would not respond to a single thing I said for the next hour and a half.

Please make tomorrow a better day for him.

Getting It Together.

If I can pull my life together during the weekdays, I will be able to post more often. Last week...not so much.

I don't think I had ever gone a week with so little consecutive hours of sleep. Not even trying to get the yearbook done (which it is!) made me as sleep-deprived. Getting to bed around 1 only to get up around 5, and then having to chase 3rd graders around all day made me a sleepy girl. Apparently, I was almost sleep-walking on Wednesday night (after going to my 4 and a half hours of Johns Hopkins directly after school and getting home at 10. Jamie found me in the kitchen throwing celery on the ground and wielding a giant knife muttering about making my lunch...at 2am.

Boy howdy did I ever sleep so well this weekend. I also cleaned up the office and am planning to lesson plan all day today and get my homework for JHU done. Mark my words...I will sleep more than four hours a night this week.

Teaching is going pretty well! I still love my kids. I'm definitely coming off firmer than I ever thought I could. I am beginning to worry that I'm just plain mean. However, I did manage to get my class to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, and reenter the room in a straight line and without making a sound in under 5 minutes. I was timing them with my stopwatch. I am a drill instructor.

I have so many stories to tell. I will get around to tell them...but right now, I must get started on the planning. Updates soon.

You Can Call Me Ms. U.

Lesson plans? Check.
Night of little sleep? Check.
First day of school complete? Check.
The sorest calves on the planet? CHECK.

So, after going over how to pronounce my name (I busted out the phonemes) for at least three minutes, one of my students whined: "Can't we just come up with a nickname?????" which was followed by whiny agreement from the rest of the class. I am now, "Ms. U". Also, "Ms. Umezoo.....Ms. U"

The day is done...and I must say it wasn't so painful. In fact, I would venture to say that it was pretty good. My kids are great -- the total opposite of the kids that I had over the summer...not that they weren't great, but rather that these kids actually like to participate and learn.

Today went relatively smoothly. The only thing is: the impending doom. Even though today went well...I could see the potential for disaster in the upcoming week. These kids are talkers and keeping them in check grew progressively more difficult. Add on to that, the fact that we have class straight through from 7:45am to 12:15 before their first break (!) This is a recipe for disaster.

But I have to say I love my kids so far. I got a bunch of "I Love You" cards (don't you love how little kids are able to decide they love you so quickly?) and hugs...and I was trying to be as mean as possible. I was worried that I was being too nice and friendly, but then I overheard one of my students telling a sibling that I was really strict. That made me smile until I started to think that I might be too hard...I definitely had two different kids on the verge of tears today. 3rd graders are babies.

The best part of my day came at the end when I sent a kid to the time out corner to fill out a reflection sheet. He refused, so I gave him another consequence at which point he got real mad. He spent the rest of the day (all of five minutes) scowling in the corner. I pulled him aside after class and explained why I did what I did (it just doesn't make sense for me to have to repeatedly tell him to be quiet and face forward) and he actually got it! He promised me to make tomorrow a "good choice day" and agreed that I was being fair (his words!!!) and gave me a hug.

Seriously though...I can forsee me wanting to pull my hair out in the near future. With the way the class was going towards the end of the day...I give myself until tomorrow afternoon.

The Schoolhouse Jibblies.

First day of school today. Hold me.

Also, please tell me I won't have to get up at this ungodly hour every day...

A Room: Transformed.

All week we've been having school orientation...meaning that we teacher's have been in meetings in the mornings with a little time in the afternoon to prep our classrooms for the kiddies that arrive on Tuesday. We hadn't had much time to prep, but this was all fine and good since most of Thursday and Friday was left open for classroom prep.

Unless, of course, you're me.

OF COURSE, I am told yesterday that I must go to an all-day workshop on Thursday (today) AND Friday. The administration fought it...but the school system is so messed up that they happened to overlook the fact that they hadn't run this workshop yet and picked random people out of a hat to attend. As I stared at my hardly-started room on Wednesday morning I felt an overwhelming sense of doom. My kids would be miserable and unstimulated and it would be my fault.

But...as we all know...I don't work well unless I am under a deadline...I was determined to get my room finished in the two hours I had after all our meetings. This is how far I got:

The room at the start of the day:







Later:






And of course, the hokey (but hopefully inspiring) expecations:


The only reason I got as far as I did was because my school is wonderful. I had two teachers in my room who had sacrificed their class prep time helping me. I [heart] my school.

I still have a lot of work to do, but I'll try to get it all done at my apartment and get to school really early on Tuesday so that I have time to throw everything on the walls. I did manage to get to school today after my workshop and I met the parent of one of my new students (just transfered into my room).

I felt so young and so Asian.