Doomed to Mediocrity.

(Spelling, anyone?)

I was looking at the "2003 Bloggie" nominees, and I have decided that my blog will never be the stuff of greatness -- it is forever doomed to be mediocre. From what I saw, here are the ingredients for a great blog:

1. Be married or engaged. This way, you always have something to talk about. You can talk about how your husband farts in his sleep or how he said something uncharacteristically chauvanistic or whatever. If you're engaged you can always talk about the planning of the wedding (which will almost always be wacky and unpredictable).

2. Be unemployed or have a job with so little responsibility that you can spend hours looking for random news and weird stories on the internet (See #3).

3. Find and link to random news and weird stories on the internet.

4. Have a dog that you treat like a child. A spoiled, rotten child. (This is not to be confused with actually having a child: that makes you not have time for #3 and otherwise boring since you would rather sleep than upkeep a stupid blog. There are exceptions -- see #5).

5. Be pregnant. This makes you wacky and unpredictable and brings hours of fun as you complain about those people who touch your belly or make stupid comments to your pregnant ass. Also, if you're employed you will probably take some maternity leave to relax at home, put your feet up...andsurfthenetandupdateyourblog (see #2 and 3).

6. Take pictures and put them on your blog.

7. Be willing to candidly talk about your bowel movements and other such taboo items.


Here is my answer to the requirements:

1. Nope. And wouldn't do it for the sake of a blog. I will, however talk about the friends and boyfriend (to their chagrin, I'm sure).

2. I'm a student. There is as much responsibility in that as you decide to put into it. As you can see my the past two months -- that's very little. I should be okay on this front.

3. Here is my entry for today: www.audi-oh.com. (Thanks Abby).

4. You all know that I would be happy to oblige the Blog-Gods on this one.

5. No. Although rest assured, I will complain if anyone touches my belly (pregnant or not).

6. ...and pay for this service? No.

7. In person we can talk about whatever you desire. Trust me, my goal in life is to be that sex expert on the Oxygen network. But, as long as my brother and who knows who else is reading this blog, I draw the line at pointing you towards weird, scary, sex toys (see #3).

Gotta go to a meeting (a DEATH meeting).