Doogie.

So today in the mail I got not one, but TWO packages!  It was like some sort of holiday where gifts are showered upon the unsuspecting.  It made my day.

Package #1: an old Boys II Men single and a nail trimmer.  Odd, I know, but I can explain.  Well...actually no one can really explain the Boys II Men.  Or is it Boyz??  Anyway, this package was a thoughtful gift from Jamie who must have felt like giving me a trip down memory lane to 5th grade.  I will forever remember dancing to "I'll Make Love To You" at my 5th grade dance with my first official boyfriend and thinking how awkward it was.  SO awkward.  Thanks Jamie.

P.S. I couldn't resist and googled the first official boyfriend.  Turns out this guy did something crazy having to do with a merohedral crystal twinning whozawhudzit.  Ya.  And I taught a bunch of kids how to use a dictionary last week.  This guy skipped high school entirely and went straight to college (a good college, mind you) after grade school.  I kidd you not...I called him Doogie while we were dating.  Come to think of it...maybe that's where my Doogie obsession started.  (I had a Doogie obsession in 10th grade -- don't ask.  It was Rent-related).
 
P.P.S. How many of you nosy buggers googled "merohedral crystal twinning" to see if you could find out the identity of said former boyfriend?

The nail trimmer was actually not so much a human nail trimmer, but rather a nail trimmer for felines.  There is the possibility that next year -- when we are living in our own apartment -- we will adopt a cat and my childhood dreams will be fulfilled.  I have already been looking at cat candidates. 

Package #2: My new glasses from the mommy.  This is a long story: as you know Jamie and I spent the beginning of the summer, running around looking for apartments.  We stayed at Jamie's friend's house and accidently left behind a lot of my stuff (see #1).  Have yet to retrieve the stuff and have been glasses-less (and replacement contactless) for most of institute. 

     On the first day of teaching, my left contact ripped slightly -- this tear has been getting bigger each day making my eye more irritated and red with each passing day.  As my eyes have always been red on account of the contacts I am used to it; however, my kids keep on asking me if I'm getting enough sleep (no) because my eyes are bloodshot.  This is a question I get all the time...from my college friends I got asked if I was high.  I decided that this has got to stop.

     My mom has been suggesting that I get laser eye surgery for a long long time.  I have resisted for fear that I would be blinded in a surgery mishap.  I have come to realize that I will soon be blind anyway because my eyes get worse and worse every year at a rapid pace.  Then, little thoughts of me being able to open my eyes in the morning and be able to read the alarm clock first thing flickered into my head.  What would it be like to look at a panoramic view of a city at night and see each individual light?  I always remember the first few days after getting new contacts and realizing that normal people can see each leaf on a tree rather than a mess of green!  Perhaps, with laser eye surgery I will have that everyday!  Or maybe I'll be blind.

       Mom says I should have it.  Mom says she'll pay for me to have it.  I'm scheduled for surgery the day after I get back from NY.  The big catch: I need to not wear contacts for a week before the consultation. 

Well, shit.

     Those of you who have actually seen my glasses are probably still rolling on the floor laughing at the thought of me venturing outside of my room in them (shut up!).  I have been mocked many many times by friends donning these thick-rimmed atrocities (is each individual lens a glass?  should this be plural?) and claiming to be Melissa.  To those of you who have never seen them...I'll just say that I got them for $12 at Costco when I was 12 with the belief that I would only wear them for the two seconds in the morning before I got the contacts in.

     Also, there's the tiny problem that I don't have them as they are still in D.C.  Maybe the D.C. friends are wandering around the house pretending to be Melissa.  I would be.

    Last, there is the fact that they have not been changed since I was 12 and therefore, I am blind even with them on.  No.  I could not be teaching my kids wearing dopey, thick glasses that would not actually help me see more than one foot in front of me and that are in D.C. 

The answer?  Lenscrafters' 30-day guarantee.  The mommy purchased the cheapest pair of glasses possible with my prescription and they will be returned right after my surgery since (cross your fingers) I won't be needing them ever again after that.  The glasses are actually pretty nice!  Anything is an improvement, and while I haven't actually seen them on (no mirror in my room), I have modeled them on Bookworm (who came in another package from Jamie) for you.  If you want to see me with them on...you'll just have to wait for it...

Woah.  Long post.  Shouldn't I be teaching?

Actually, I just tried posting the pictures but they wouldn't go through...maybe later?