This morning at 7am I got a phone call from TFA: apparently they have chosen me to be the subject of a NBC Dateline story about TFA. This would require me to be followed by a camera crew for my entire first-year of teaching. Luckily, I wouldn't be filmed every day -- they are aiming for once a week, but it is more likely that it would something along the lines of once a month. To make up for the times that a camera crew couldn't be in my classroom, I would be given a handheld camera with which to document my classroom antics.
This is a great opportunity. I am terrified.
I need advice! I need suggestions! I need someone to tell me what to do. So far, the overwhelming response has been YES. All day, I have been dreading it for several reasons. Let us weigh the pros and cons:
Cons:
- Having a camera crew in the back of my classroom would be distracting to both me and my students. Although, from my experience thus far, I don't think my teaching would be affected all that much. I tend to zone everything else out while I'm teaching. Over the summer, I would finish up a lesson plan and realize that there had been five people observing me the whole time. I have also been assured that my kids wouldn't be too distracted by the cameras...since most kids tend to have short attention spans, they would quickly forget that they were there at all. Last, teachers are videotaped all the time anyway -- mostly for their own professional development or to give the principal a chance to check up on your work.
- The added stress on the first day. It is challenging enough -- adding a camera crew and the stress of appearing professional on the first day is something that would just up the ante. Blech.
- I am squeamish about seeing myself on t.v. I can barely stomach rereading some of these blog posts -- I can't imagine what it would be like to have to watch myself on television. Seriously...I cannot watch home videos with me in them.
- Time. I'm not sure how much time the whole thing will take...probably not that much at all. Still, it will be my first year teaching, I will be getting my masters at Johns Hopkins, and I live a good distance away from my school. Time will be something I lack.
- The very good chance that I will fail and bring embarrassment and shame to the Umezaki name. My teaching could be a total and utter failure next year. My classroom may not jibe with me, I could completely break down, and it will all be captured on film and broadcast throughout the U.S.
Pros:
- The opportunity. They don't come very often, and when they do come, I hear you're supposed to seize them. Also, it is kind of an honor and it might be bratty for me to turn it down.
- Affecting Change. So, if the whole reason that I got involved with Teach For America was to try and make some positive change in a child's life, wouldn't this documentary be another avenue for me to make even greater changes. Before, I would be able to work with my students and their familes within our little classroom bubble. Maybe this video is the opportunity for me to reach outside that bubble and into the lives of other people. If I could inspire one more person to consider and apply for TFA, than I might be positively affecting their lives and those of their future students. If I'm really true to the TFA mission than this pro should trump all cons -- especially the con about my insecurities. Of course, there is the risk that I will be so crappy that I will actually disuade people from applying...
- I'd be helping TFA. And we all know that I'm fond of TFA.
- It's a good opportunity for me to grow as a person and as a teacher. What better way to learn from my mistakes than to have them documented on film for me to review?
- I would have an incredible collection of memories for my first year.
So...should I do it? Comment and let me know...I'm supposed to tell the lady today...I'm scared.
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