Brown is the color of poopy service.

While I love our postman, I am not very fond of our UPS guy. He leaves little stickies on our door saying that he "tried" to deliver a package. In reality, I think he is just tapping feebly at the door, hastily slapping the sticky on it, and then running away with my package. When I got home yesterday the mail had not come. I spent the rest of the evening in the living room -- right off the front door -- because Jamie had confiscated my compy and I had little else to do but watch a DVD. At no point did I move farther than 100 ft from that door.

So what explanation can there be for my not hearing the UPS guy when he "knocked" on our door? Only that he is a poo that doesn't actually knock.