Fixation.

Anybody who has known me over the years, will know that I have tendencies to get absolutely fixated on something and then never stop obsessing until I get it.  

On a trip to Reno, NV when I was no older than 8, I was fixating on a mini slot machine piggy bank.  I proceeded to needle my dad for the remainder of the trip until he finally caved and got me the friggin' slot machine.  (I still have it.)

When I was older than 8 it was a puppy.  But, really, what little kid doesn't go through a puppy stage.  And I obsessed for a good many years before I actually got the puppy.

In my teenage years, it was me goading my poor, defenseless brother into allowing us to cut our ski trip one day short so that I could go on a second date with this guy who I really liked and to whom he had to send a wedding invitation even though we had only been on one date.  (What can I say?  With Jamie, I just knew immediately.)

There are many other instances of fixations that I am too embarrassed to admit here...I will be the first to say that I am spoiled by the people who love me.  Really spoiled.  

So, my latest fixation has been simmering away for the past two years and recently went into a rolling boil.  I wanted an iPhone.  

Man, did I ever want an iPhone.  Poor Jamie, has been subjected to me asking for an iPhone ever since before the iPhone came out, but, bless his heart, he has kept me at bay.  

Homeboy thinks he has experienced the full force of my fixations...homeboy has not.  In reality, I think my poor father is the only one who has...

In the bottom of my heart, I have known that getting an iPhone was not something I should do.  It would mean changing our phone service to one that doesn't work on the Metro.  It would mean paying a lot more.  Lots of things.  So I figured I would wait patiently to buy an iPhone and if it ever became available to Verizon, I would make the switch.

Then I learned about this other phone and I could care less about the iPhone.  

I don't know how I learned about it, or where I saw it first, but I am now completely fixated on this phone.  I don't even use the phone that much.  But, I have daydreams about having such a device to keep me uber-organized and connected to the internet all the time (well, except for on the Metro.)

I am so fixated on this phone, that I won't even say what phone it is for fear that someone else may become obsessed with it as well and thereby lessen my chances of getting one of these phones by one.  They have not announced when it will be released.  They have not said how much it will cost.  These are things that only make me fixate more.  

How bad do I have this fixation?  (Some examples)

1. Yesterday, I was watching 30 Rock on Tivo and I actually went back to watch a commercial because they flashed this phone on the screen for a split second.  They did not even say the name of the phone...it was literally on the screen for a split second.
2. Jamie is already sick of hearing about it, and I haven't even gone into gear three yet.
   
3. Despite being on my deathbed over the weekend (I exagerrate), I strongly considered (and am still considering) going over to the store where said phone will be available eventually and begging to be put on a waitlist for when it is available.

I would like it noted, that for someone who depends upon the internet as much as I do, it is amazing that I do not already have a Smartphone.  Jamie can mock me for being spoiled (like I said, I know I am), but he has had his little Blackberry for years already while I had my piddly little lame phone.  My time has come.  At least, it will once they RELEASE this phone!