It Was a Very Good Blog...

So, yeah...I've been gone for a while. But I'm planning to make up for it in installments. Consider this, the first installment.

First of all: congratulations again to Drew and Meredith. Their union is a force to be reckoned with…

Life has been busy as of late. Yesterday, my classmates and I graduated from and said goodbye to Williams College (and each other). It was sad. It also made me realize how nice it is to have this venue with which to look back at my senior year. While geeky and lame, it did fill its purpose of giving me a place to vent about the asinine and mundane things that happened each day. Like, remember the time a pickle saved my day? How about the time I froze in Minnesota? Ooo! Ooo! And how about the time when the compost was stinking up my room? And who could forget that time that I graduated? I appreciate this blog for the opportunity to document (e.g. the inane) and the monumental.

I also realize that Umezakisauce is about to change for good as it will become a place for my friends to keep an eye on me as I try to control my classroom. And, hopefully, they will actually start to COMMENT. *cough*.

Now, I will share some lovely pictures of the past week. Starting with...


...the pure joy associated with the bus ride to Mount Hope for our senior formal.


And the girls looking lovely as we left the house…


…as did the boys.


A toast to the graduates.


Sam’s Dimples!


Samir and Abby...not drunk. Snerk.

Also, I have some pictures of the Champagne Brunch…





The camera loves Jess.


The boys of Mo East ==> Susie H.

Sigh. So much love and such good times.

Anyway, I am now in Baltimore. Managed to drive down from Old Chatham (near Williamstown) and make it to the storage place in the nick of time. We’re staying at some fancy pants hotel with high-speed internet access (score!). We took a nice walk around the harbor and had the most delicious crab cakes – my first in Baltimore. Momentous. I took pictures and will post those later…the cord is somewhere in the car right now. Just trust me when I say that the harbor is beautiful.

Tomorrow will be devoted to house/apartment-hopping. I’m sure that will be interesting.....not really.

Da Da Da Da Daaaaaa Daa.

(It's the graduation song).

So little time 'til graduation. See you on the flipside.

Promises.

For serious, a real post is coming soon. With pictures!

But for now: I pack.

P.S. Congrats to Drew and Meredith on their marriage!

Meh.

Have you ever woken up and felt really really ill simply because you're awake? Yeah.....

I think the lack of sleep is starting to catch up to me.

Whatever Happened to Peace, Love, and Understanding?

Today I got lost. I was trying to drive to the Crossgates Mall today to purchase a semi-formal dress to wear to the Senior Class Gala Dinner tomorrow. Instead I ended up on the NY Thruway which was scary. I also learned that tollbooth guys are mean and don't like to give directions to stupid college girls.

Melissa : [pulling up to the tollbooth and handing over ticket] Ummm...I'm afraid I'm horribly lost. Can you tell me how to get to the Crossgates Mall?
Toll Booth Guy: [taking ticket] thirty cents please...
Melissa: oh yeah...here you go. [waits for directions]
Toll Booth Guy: [stares] You can go now [points towards the green light]
Melissa: You're not going to tell me how to get to the mall??
Toll Booth Guy: [shakes his head] Not my job.
Melissa: Oh! Okay...sorry. [meekly rolls up window and drives away]...asshole.

No worries, I made it to the mall anyway. I'm just going to assume that the toll booth guy was having a bad day. Or just hates his job. Or had gas. Or anything but the fact that he must be a horrible human being with no compassion for a lost and frightened girl...asshole.

I did not succeed in finding a dress. Boo. However, I did get a business suit for my interviews (score!). It was on sale! (sweet!) 35% off! (yay!). Don't know what i'm going to do about the dress though. Maybe I'll show up in jeans.

Urinary Tract Inflection.

It is zero degrees in the office right now. So cold. I also have to pee.

In high school Jamie told me that when I get cold, my bladder shrinks (as most things do in the cold) which is why I always have to pee when I'm cold. See, Jamie says stuff in a way -- maybe it's the tone he uses or the inflection of his voice -- that makes you think that he knows what he's talking about...but then when you say it back to yourself in your head you realize that it's total bullshit. I guess that's part of what makes him so charming.

But can anyone really tell me why I always have to pee when I'm cold?

Insomniac's Rant.

I know I've been extremely whiny lately and I promise it will be all over soon...but for now, I must rant.

I'm kind of depressed that I had to give my dead week up for yearbook. While most people head off to the beach or to exotic locales for a final, carefree week with their friends, I have been cooped up in my room, sitting in front of a computer screen. I have spent little to no time with my friends in our final days "together". Add on to that, the fact that I will spend very little time with them in the upcoming week for Senior Week since I have still further to go with the book.

I have been in various states of denial about the book over the past couple weeks. Sometimes I'm optimistic that it will come out great, and that it will be worth my time in the end to have a beautiful 270-paged labor of love. Most of the time I'm just bitter that I had to give up my Dead Week and Senior Week because for the most part, people are flakes.

Can you tell that I'm in the latter end of the spectrum right now? (That usually happens after the sun starts coming up and I still haven't been able to go to bed).

My goal in working so hard over dead week and not travelling was to get far enough in the book to feel comfortable and guilt-free enough to go to the big senior gala at Mt. Hope. I realized tonight that I will not make it. Not guilt-free anyway. Not only will the book not be anywhere near ready, but I would need to somehow find a formal dress in the time between now and Wednesday evening and Williamstown is in the middle of nowhere in terms of finding said item. Hopeless.

Of course, all is not lost: I'm happy with my finished sections of the book. I would go so far as to say that I'm in love with them. It's the other 100 pages that I worry about.

In case this post made you fear for my sanity and well-being, don't worry. I'm still happy and thankful for everything. I'm even grateful for the opportunity to undertake the challenge -- it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and I totally dig that. I just like to bitch about it every once and a while (read: A LOT). If you bump into me in the near future I might even be pleasant to be around...maybe.

Didja Miss Me?

Still alive. Not in a bad mood anymore. Still working on yearbook and about to get to the part that's really going to suck (read: what should have been done by people who are not me but who took off as soon as school let out).

So how've you been? I've been good. Saw Shrek 2 a few days ago with Jess and Lindsay. It was pretty good...although not as good as the first one. Still, not really a let down. I was worried for a little while.

In other news, I have been reading children books lately in order to build up my class library next year. Among these books were the Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle series which I loved as a kid. Seriously, these books are probably the one thing I remember with perfect clarity about first grade. Or so I thought.

These books are awful! At least the first volume. For those of you who have never read the books, Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle is a nice woman who lives in an upside-down house and loves children. Parents go to her for cures to their children's afflictions like "No-Wanna-Go-To-Bedders" and "The-Won't-Pick-Up-Toys" bug.

Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle's cures generally consist of leaving the child alone for weeks and letting them do whatever they want until they get so tired or their room gets so messy, or they get so dirty that they want to be cured. Incidentally, all trips to Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle begin with at least the thought of spanking. And all the mothers are homemakers. And the extent of the father's role is to come home from work and administer the spankings.

Yes, I know the book is from the '50s but lordy, it give me the jibblies. Also, I think they're may be some not-so-subtle abstinence messages in there (not that abstinence is bad). An excerpt: "...when Dick brought out his bat and ball and mitts and the boys saw DICK'S BALL -- DON'T TOUCH! DICK'S BAT -- DON'T TOUCH!"...THIS IS DICK -- DON'T TOUCH!"

GO DICK GO!

My Own Personal Hell.

Was it Prometheus that had to push that giant boulder up a hill, only to have it roll back down as soon as he was nearing the top?

That is what today has been like with pages 167-168 of the yearbook. This morning (meaning around 2am), my plans for that page were glorious. After one power surge my progress was a erased. No worries, I got back on the horse and got back to where I was in half the time. Happily saved my progress before going to bed...but being a total fool left the page open on my computer. Then there was a network shutdown when the main server room for the campus overheated (this was about 8am). Woke up having my work deleted. Never mind...it's a new day and I've done it a couple times...I can blaze through it.

[short power surge...deleted].

[computer freeze...deleted].

[network failure...deleted].

[reason for failure unknown...DELETED].

That's right. If you count last night's attempts, I've had to create this page a grand total of seven times. Good news is that on four of those seven times I could salvage parts of it before it got deleted. But that leaves the other three. The page has suffered and is no longer glorious. I just finished it as fast as I could this last time.

I may or may not have cried for the first time over yearbook today.

Peanut Butter Jelly with a Baseball Bat!

It's Peanut Butter Jelly Time.

Or maybe just Jelly.


Introducing Jelly.

Ashley needed someone to look after her pet rat and found it in Lambert -- namely Lindsay. But, since Lindsay isn't here I get to have a few short hours as the sole care provider for Jelly. Now I'm a full-fledged geek with a blog and a pet rat. At least her name isn't some weird Clingon character's name from Star Trek.

So, the story behind Jelly. When she was just a wee baby -- about a year ago -- she was owned by some guys down at the odd quad...who of course fed her beer and marijuana. At the end of the year, they "set her free" in the quad. Ashley found her cowering in a cinder block by the door to the dorm, waiting for the previous owners to come back and feed her. So Ashley rescued her and keep her as the entry pet.

She's pretty awesome. She actually comes to you if you set her on the ground and call her (aka: move your fingers around wildly or pretending you have food -- or marijuana -- in your hand). She also licks you if she likes you. She's like a wee dog. Awesome.

Jelly made my day better -- I almost don't mind that three of the spreads I was working on this morning just got erased. Almost.

More Jelly.


Jelly's Snout. (Notice her cute little rat paws.)


Jelly being fuzzier than normal.

It's really hard to get good pictures of a moving rat.

Panic Attack.

Ah! What have I been doing with my time?!?

I just found out that there is no way that I can work on the yearbook over the summer from the institute -- I would have to make frequent trips back to Williamstown. Meaning: I must finish the book in the next week and a half. Impossible. Must sucker someone into taking over once I graduate.

She's Alive.

...In case you were wondering.

So the meeting with the principal went well. He was really nice and made me excited about the fact that I will be a teacher so soon. I think there is a gigantic need for teachers in general seeing how he was trying to persuade me to teach at his school instead of TFA. Good to know. I have a job waiting for me in North Adams if need be.

P.S. Is it possible for lemonade to go bad? This particular bottle tastes especially tart.

Beep Beep Beep!

Abby's alarm has been going off for the past hour. Maybe she's dead. Check back for the prognosis later!

Excuses.

Sorry I have been slacking but truth be told, nothing interesting has happened in the past few days. They have been dedicated solely to the yearbook and moving the office. You can rest assured that the day something interesting does happen to me -- you'll be the first to know.

Tomorrow I'm meeting a principal of a nearby school to talk about teaching and hopefully schedule some times for me to do observations...perhaps that will provide some blogworthy fodder...

COPS.

So some guy got pulled over by a cop right in front of my room. He's been sitting there for a while now waiting for his talking to, but the cop is taking his time. The guy is getting impatient and has started actually waving at the cop and even honked his horn a couple times. I thought people were supposed to be scared of cops.

I kind of wish they would go away since the flashing of lights directly into my room is somewhat distracting.

Close the Door!

I'm coming out with my Jake love. When I say love, I mean it in the most immature junior high sense: I used to love Jake Gyllenhaal (heh heh...Bubble Boy is a "cult hit"). I had a special little symbol for him that me and my friends would write everywhere. He had a code name. I knew his birthday -- fun fact: it's the same as Jamie's (different year) -- and would watch him sing lovingly during our concert rehearsals (yes, I used to sing). Most telling of all: I could spell his last name. He knew about this love because all us underclassmen girls loved him. Unfortunately, he was kind of a prick sometimes -- but also in that immature junior high sense. He's grown out of it since then, I think.

Anyway, with that introduction, I present to you: Action-Hero Jake. Yes folks, they're outrunning ICE. A little known cure to ICE is closing the door.

Also: cheesy-romance Jake.

I worry. I still believe that Jake is a better singer than he is an actor. Maybe he'll be like J-Lo and start a singing career.

P.S. I just remembered something so embarrassing about my Jake-love. I actually used to take pictures for the school yearbook and I definitely stole the ones that I took of him that weren't used in the book.I blame it all on my 13 year-old lameness. Although, I could probably sell them on eBay to some boy-crazy teen...hmmm...market-savvy.

Reality Bites.

This is an actual dialogue from last week:

Melissa: (on the phone with her dad)...so, I'm still trying to figure out what to do after Jamie's graduation and before training starts...
Dad:...
Melissa: ...because, I'm actually going to be...like...alone and homeless for that week.
Dad:...
Melissa:...I guess I can try to find a cheap motel and do more apartment shopping...in Baltimore...but maybe I'll drive somewhere fun and have an adventure...
Melissa's Inner Monologue: send money....give me money...
Dad:...
Melissa:..I'm sure Baltimore's not that scary...
Dad:...that sounds nice.

I don't want to be an adult anymore!

Although, I guess it's better than the 11:30pm curfew (that was seriously in effect the last time I was home -- never mind that I'm turning 23 this year) or the days of no concerts or boys in the house after 10pm.

Insomniac.

It's getting harder to sleep at night as I realize the extent of my screwed-ness. Any suggestions?

Hunka Hunka Burnin' Cheese.

Realized I failed to post yesterday. That's because I finished my last final and was taking the day off of life. Went for a nice walk up Stone Hill and tried to relax before tackling yearbook.

So a couple days ago I was picking up my take-home exam at Hopkins Hall. I was with Dan and Abby, and we noticed this random giant hunk of cheese just sitting on the ledge. Dan (being disgusting) picked it up, smelled it, and affirmed that it was, in fact, cheese. He then proceeded to throw it at the trash can.

Today (technically yesterday) when I went to return the take home exam I noticed that the cheese was in the same place as we had left it. From a distance I could see curious passerbys stopping to check out the cheese. They went through a similar process as Dan had although most just prodded it with their foot instead of actually picking it up and smelling it. On closer inspection I realized it was because you could smell it without having to pick it up. Gross. Also, random.

You have to understand when I say "giant" I mean, GIANT. Like, bigger than a brick. So random. Did I mention random.

You may wonder why I'm up at this hour when I finished up all of my schoolwork. That is because I'm freaking out about yearbook now...courtesy of Jamie.

I Heart Take-Home Exams.

Well...not as much as I like No Exams.

I'm in the middle of my last final ever....atwilliams. I felt the need to blog if only because I could and that is a luxury in the world of finals.

Anyway, Re: my yearbook rant of a couple days ago...sorry! I realize since then that it sounded much more negative than I meant it to. I also found out that I have really great friends when they offered to help. Haha! Suckers.

[Mr.Burns Voice and Finger Tap]: Excellent...

B/C BBQ.

As promised, here are some pictures from our entry reunion BBQ. Of course it rained, but that couldn't stop the entry love from flowing.

This is Gittes making his move with the ladies. HOT.


Former Sage B superstars: Ashlee, Bryan, and Holly.


Elissa and Reed sharing some love on a flimsy butterfly chair.


My boy Jay.


Some more Sage B love. (Nice shirt Tim).


And since it wouldn't be fair for me to include pictures of other people and not myself being stupid...here's me eating Trav's ear.


And me looking stoned with Bryan.


Alissa and Dan taking care of the grill. I'm nice and dry on the porch (it should be noted that I sat out there without an umbrella shortly afterwards).


Lastly, a lovely picture of Jon and Ash.

So, the BBQ was exactly what I needed. Good people and good times. But, it also made me realize how much I'm going to miss these guys next year...*sniffle*. Maybe I shouldn't worry so much since it is possible that I will fail my final and have to stay another year anyway. Time will tell.

Another Yearbook Rant.

I turned in my final paper about an hour ago, but now the real dread takes hold. No, I'm not talking about my final exam. I'm talking about the yearbook.

For the past month or so, I lay awake in bed dreading this yearbook. Will it get done (yes)? Will it be good (I hope so)? Or will I fail miserably (most likely)? As I finish up my schoolwork, there is little that can excuse me from getting it done...now. A few teensy-tiny problems:

1. The US Postal service lost about seven ROLLS of crucial film which included club pictures and academic departments...neither of which can be replaced.

2. We have to move out of our office within the next week. When I say "we", I actually mean "me" since the other staff members are taking off before the move. Did I mention that that includes moving furniture, boxes upon boxes full of old yearbooks, and four computers? Never mind the headache that is associated with moving our master computer at a time when its contents are so so valuable. I'm trying to back-up the materials, but I'm not exactly sure how. Anybody care to inform me?

3. We have turned in zero spreads. Out of 270. Two deadlines have come and gone. Kill me.

4. Much of my staff is avoiding me.

5. Someone at the dean's office is continuing to give out my name and number to parents calling about the yearbook. While it's okay now, I worry about what it will be like in a few months.

This list is stressing me out -- especially since there are a whole lot more to go. I'm going to stop now. Send me love.

Oh! But on another happier note: we're having a Sage B/C entry reunion BBQ tonight! Come back later for pictures!

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens.

While I'm working on my paper, you all can amuse yourself with this off of NPR. It's the trailer for The Sound of Music as a horror film. I know it sounds dumb...but if you knew my love for The Sound of Music, you'd understand why this is great to me.

"Get Busy Livin', Or Get Busy Dyin'."

After running errands today I was walking back to my house when I saw Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon. Now, I'm not positive it was them -- it could have been their stunt doubles -- but I'm pretty sure it was because I love them both and I feel as though I would be able to recognize them in passing. Also, when I said hello to them, a Tim Robbins sounding voice said hello back. My observations/questions are:

1. Why are they in Williamstown so early? Most of the Hollywood crowd come late-June.

2. Tim Robbins (and/or his stunt double) is huge. While I knew that he was tall, I didn't realize he was like, six and a half feet tall. Huge.

3. Susan Sarandon (or stunt double) is not as short as I thought she was. This misperception was probably a result seeing pictures in which she is standing next to her HUGE husband. Wait, are they married?

4. Susan Sarandon looks older in person. Still lovely though.

5. Tim Robbins wears funky clothes. Today he was wearing a blue bandanna and a bright purple shirt. One would think that if they were trying not to attract attention, they would stay away from bright purple...then again, they are at Williams...

Incidentally, I was walking through a common room a couple days ago to find a bunch of people watching Top Gun. It was the end of the movie where I guess Tom Cruise had blown up some bad guys or whatever, and I couldn't get over the fact that Tim Robbins was just a random guy in that movie with, like, two lines. It's TIM ROBBINS. From Shawshank Redemption! I wonder why the casting person chose a giant like Tim Robbins to stand next to little itsy-bitsy Tom Cruise in the final scene?

No Senior Spring for Me.

So I resigned myself to an all-nighter (tomorrow, not today) when I decided to restart my final paper...again. This makes it three times that I have started over from scratch. I decided that this topic means a lot to me and I started viewing this paper as a mission statement and not so much as a final paper. At first I was annoyed that the prof. would give us so little direction (the question basically is: what have been the components of your environmental education to date and how are you going to apply it in your life as a citizen and as a professional). Then, about five pages into the drivel that was draft number two, I realized that he made it vague so that we would reflect (in-depth) on our own education.

I started over around 2am and stopped only for a twenty minute talk with the Jamester and maybe a couple random emails. I now have seven decent pages. It's amazing what a little ephiphany can do for a writer's block (considering it had taken me three days to get 2 pages, erase them and then write 5 pages and erase them). But maybe now it's time for bed.

Three Generations.

So today was the "Three Generations" (of Junior Advisors) party. It's great because it gives old frosh and JAs a chance to reconnect and basically celebrate and get drunk playing Beirut/Beer Pong.

On my way over I noticed way to many JAs leaving the party and I realized by the time I was almost there that the party had actually started hours earlier and that I was a fool and had not bothered to check. In my defense: aren't BBQs generally around dinnertime and not 4pm?

All was not lost because I got to see these guys:


My lovely Whitney and Ashlee who are on the road to being awesome JAs for the class of 2008. We then ate dinner together and caught up on life -- which was just really nice. Also, Whitney fell asleep on my bed...just like old times.

Did I mention how screwed I am for this paper? I'm screwed. I will have to pull another all-nighter. Boo.

Holy Jesus.

Can't...contain......myself...

Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Sorry. I had to.

Can You Tell That I'm Trying To Start Working Again?

Pulling a blank on my final paper for senior seminar...it must be time to post.

Something just occured to me. Earlier today we had a pretty big thunderstorm (see earlier post) and it was accompanied by a power outage. For me, the power outage consisted of my fan and light turning off and my laptop screen getting a little dimmer. Within about eight seconds the back-up generator kicked in and everything was powered again. [/end blackout for Melissa].

First reaction was to be really happy that I had a laptop and didn't lose the work I had neglected to save. Second reaction was to feel bad for all those poor schmucks working on their theses or final projects on a desktop computer when the power went down. Lost work is always bad this time of year.

It didn't occur to me until someone mentioned that the nearby elementary school was out of power tonight that there was still a power outage anywhere. I truly live in a protected purple bubble. So, in case I don't say it enough: thank you Williams for reducing a whole night's worth of power outage during finals to a mere eight-second disruption.

Bailamos.

So this is pretty delayed, but I had been meaning to post about it for a while...meaningless blather got in the way. But, last Saturday I got to take a break from my work to go see Canboulay, which is the steel pan group at Williams. Incidentally, it also has a bunch of my friends in it, so I was especially trigger-happy when it came to photos. Here are some for your enjoyment...

Here's one of Marina looking dead sexy whilst playing the BIG ASS BASS drums. Also: Maggie's butt.

Last, a lovely picture of Maggie and Abby between songs. I do believe that's Jess in the background about to start the next song...


Good times were had by all and, as usual, Canboulay was awesome.

Zounds!

There was just a mother thunder and lightning storm over here -- complete with power outage. Back where I'm from we don't really have thunder and lightning like it is over here. Here it's lightning every eight seconds or so, there it's like two cracks of thunder for a whole 15-minute storm. I wonder why that is...maybe it's too dry in southern California for the amount of cloud needed to create sufficient friction? Anybody know?

Recent Purchase.

I just returned from an excursion to Best Buy. I decided to cash in on my most recent paycheck and get a new digital camera. My old one decided to breakdown a couple months ago and the little digital display stopped working. I could work around the display not functioning, but then I realized that as time passed and I used my busted camera more and more, the pictures got fuzzier and fuzzier and now it doesn't even attempt to focus. Very sad really. Especially sad that the final clear picture of its small digital life was of a really gross sink. I also figured that now was the time to purchase a new camera since (a) it's beautiful out, (b) senior week is coming up and (c) I'll need to be taking some last minute pictures for yearbook -- a lot of them.

Anyway, after doing a bunch of research I found a camera that I liked -- the purchase was pretty uneventful. However, after the purchase the Best Buy guy put it in a special bag. Not just your everyday normal plastic bag -- a special one. It was all clear and had a sticky strip on the top so that it would seal. Then you would poke these little holes on the side for easy gripping. He reminded me of Mr.Bean in "Love Actually", you know that scene where he's gift-wrapping the necklace but keeps on doing more stuff to the bag. That was what happened with this shopping bag.

At first I thought it was interesting that they would spend all this money on extra bags just to make their customers feel like Best Buy actually cares about them and wants them to have more durable bags. Then I realized it was so that I didn't stick unpaid for stuff in my bag on the way out. Best Buy spends extra money to make their customers feel like shoplifters.

Lambert House of Horrors.

So, I live in a house with seven other lovely Williams students. And, as could be expected of any house where the inhabitants are busy running from place to place, sometimes the kitchen gets plain nasty.





The origin of this garlic is not exactly known -- but I fear that it is the garlic I bought at the beginning of the semester and then promptly forgot about in a dark drawer. The lovely expressions were provided by Abby (it is common practice to draw faces on fruits and vegetables in Lambert House). The teeny-tiny Moses was left here from previous years, and was a jackpot find when we were moving in. The garlic is in awe of his power.




Ahhh...the sink. This is not actually the worst it has gotten, although what you can't see is the fungus and mold growing in the bottom pot, that I uncovered later upon cleaning. I think there must be some weird gnome coming in and dirtying the dishes because I have no idea where these come from. Still, there is much nastiness.

But if you really want to see some neglect, you should see my room. I will spare you those pictures...for now.

Fini.

Boo-ya. I have "successfully" completed my last all-nighter at Williams. Well...probably my last all-nighter as I do have another paper due and one more final. But, since I have plenty of time to work on those, I'm going to say that this was my last all-nighter. Well...maybe not so much an "all-nighter" since I did get to bed around 4:30.

Anyway, in about two hours I will have my last class at Williams EVER. Scary. And sad. Especially sad because it's a kind of sucky class, and I would have preferred to go out with a bang.

I will post more love soon...but for now: A TWO HOUR NAP!

Yay for Mothers

So... As promised, I am guest posting on Melissa's blog. Forgive the brief respite from Melissa humor and interesting stories while she writes her paper and does her test. (although work only seems to increase the blogging rate, so perhaps I should post during a down week next time)

Over here at Carleton, we have about 4 weeks of school left, so we're not in quite the mad rush that the Williams kids are. But I'm still managing to keep myself surprisingly busy. This past weekend was Mother's Day, as you probably realized, and every Mother's Day the Knights
(the a cappella group of which I am a member) does singing telgrams for mothers (for a mere $5).

So the eleven of us get up at 8:30 in the morning on a Sunday and go over to a professor's house, where we proceed to call mothers on the telephone one by one until about 6:00 pm. Although it's a long, long day it's also a lot of fun. The first thing you realize is that, for the most part, mothers are GREAT! It's amazing how happy two cheesy little songs sung over a telephone can make people, but oh boy do some mothers go crazy for it.

We generally have a few categories for mothers that we keep tally of throughout the day - first there are the criers (often sobbing, after one and a half minutes of song - 7 this year), then there are the screamers (oh my god! You're so cute! - 5).

But there are also occasionally some mishaps. Like the grandmother who thought we were solicitors and hung up on us, but then decided that she wasn't finished, and * 69ed us to yell at us for bothering a poor old woman on Mother's Day. Whoops.

Anyhow, after singing for 8 hours, our voices are pretty shot, and we're not inclined to see each other for a while - but we do walk away with that wonderful glow that comes from making 110 mothers day's just a little brighter.

Feeling Strangely Fine.

So, I know I said I wouldn't post irrelevent pictures in my blog -- but I had to put this up, if only because it makes me feel warm and fuzzy...




I've also been wanted to post this picture since Christmas, but never could. Now is better than never. And I can make it relevant: I wish I were here right now. So the picture is of a sunset at Man o' War Cay -- this beautiful little island in the Bahamas. See the relevant post in my archives to read all about it.

Now, for a paper update...still shitty (page 2). I have gotten to the point where I am I just writing drivel and just hoping it all comes out to be long enough in the end. I have roughly answered all the questions on my take-home test, but they are crap. I must also pare down one of the answers by 300 words or so.

So Jamie promised me (he PROMISED me) that he would guest post tonight. It looks as though promises don't mean anything to Jamie though...they are just little nothings that float in and out of his life like snow. Let's all playa-hate.

Nightcrawler.

So the word on the street is there is some guy (we don't know if it's a student or not) who has been going to girls' dorm rooms at night while they were sleeping and just crawling around the room. Literally crawling. The reason we know this is because in some instances the students have woken up and seen him crawling.

Two things: (1) this cannot possibly be true and must be some kind of weird Williams urban legend. (2) If it is true, than this "man" is probably more like a "large raccoon" or something along those lines. Either way, the deans just had a meeting about it.

And people ask why I lock my door at night. I am sufficiently creeped out.

This Too Shall Pass.

This'll probably be my only post for a while as I have a lot of work to do in not so much time. Very little sleep will be had tonight, my friends. But, I feel better when I realize that this will be the last time I have to pull an all-nighter like this for a long long while (if ever again). It's kind of sad. But what a way to go...

I send my love to Abby who has the same test and paper as me, but also has another paper due tomorrow. Sucks to be her.

Anyway, I got an email today (as did all other graduating Williams seniors) asking me about the correct pronounciation of my name. It's hard enough to tell people the correct pronounciation in person...but over email?? First of all, I don't even know the correct pronuonciation of my name. I alternate between the two: when I'm saying my full name I go by "Ew"-mezaki, but when I'm just saying my last name I say "YOU"-mezaki. Second, I obviously have troubles spelling out the pronounciation judging from that last sentence.

So here is what I propose:

"You-meh-zah-key". I know I said that I go by the other option when saying my full name, but I have no idea how to write out the pronounciation of the "ew" sound (because "ew" is not quite right). Any better ideas??

I Have Arrived.

I swear this is the last post of the night -- then I'm really getting started on this research paper -- but I just had to see if I can actually post pictures to this thing.


Homecoming of 2004: Six former B'ers, One WPD Cop, So many open containers.

Holycrap: it worked. Sorry for the out-of-date picture, it's one of the few that I had handy at the moment (but what a fine specimen it is). Will now post relevant pictures only.

Fads Revisited.

I know it may be taboo to rapid-fire post, but as long as we're on the subject...what is it with middle-school fads? At Mirman School (which, granted, is a school of incredible nerd proportions) troll dolls were big in 4th grade, Pogs (I'm sure there is a tm after that) were big in 3rd grade, and slap bracelets were big in 2nd grade.

Was it the same elsewhere?

For you older folks, *cough*David*cough*, what about Garbage Pail Kids? I loved those, but I was never really permitted to start my own collection...meanies. Ew, now that I looked at the GPK site, I'm really grossed out and glad that I didn't start my own collection.

Childhood Glee By Proxy.

I'm sitting in the Peer Health office doing some Call-in Walk-in hours...so I may have to go if somebody decides to stop by and ask some question about a urinary tract infection or to buy prophylactics. I apologize in advance.

Anyway, someone -- presumably my dear Anne Louise -- left an entire box of CapriSuns for PH Members to dip into during their shifts. Now, the box has been sitting here for a good long time -- probably a month now, and I was never really moved to partake...until tonight. I poked open a pouch of Pacific Cooler (which I believe was the original flavor) and became really nostalgic.

It's weird because I never really had CapriSuns as a kid (I was a Mott's Apple Juice type of elementary school student)...instead I sort of watched on as my friends would trade flavors and poke away. I was secretly envious -- not so much because CapriSuns taste good, but rather because they were "cool" for middle schoolers. In retrospect, I realize they were cool only because they were in a pouch, rather than my lame carton juice boxes. Middle-schoolers are superficial. Especially me, apparently.

Incidentally, I remember once when I actually did have a CapriSun at school (it was when I was living with Nile after the earthquake -- her parents were decidedly "cool" enough to give us CapriSun), it was missing a straw. It was a sad day in my middle-school life.

P.S. Who knew that CapriSun was all natural and without preservatives? Amazing.

No Sleep 'Til Graduation.

Test over. Can not forecast my performance -- am a little worried.

Anyway, I have a bone to pick. Freshman year I lived next to Spring Street while they were doing construction on it. Having grown up in Los Angeles where there are laws mandating that no construction in a residential area begin before 10am, was shocked and saddened when I was woken up every morning at 7am by the jackhammering and drilling going on. It got to the point where it was so bad that I would sleep through my alarm because I couldn't hear it over the construction noise that I had gotten adjusted to mid-way through the year. I missed many a class.

Sophomore year it was the noisy neighbor. Granted I had a noisy neighbor freshman year too who would leave her radio on and bass blasting while she went to New York for a week, but sophomore year it was someone who perpetually blasted "Ghetto Superstar". This is sophomore year in COLLEGE not high school, mind you.

Junior year I had sort of a break from noise...although I did get freshman piling up in my bed to sleep during the wee hours of the morning (not always as good as it sounds). And my bathroom did become the booting bathroom on weekends.

This year I live in a lovely co-op: far away from construction, without the duties of a JA, next to a neighbor who never listens to Ghetto Superstar. But, now I have lawn mowers...and not those normal-sized ones. No...for our teensy-tiny lawn we get one of those huge sitting mowers. Last night I finally got to bed around 4:30, planning to wake up around 8am to do some quick review for my test. My mower decides to go mow the lawn right outside my open windows at 7am.

After the test, I decided to settle down for a lovely little nap since I didn't get much sleep...the MOWER RETURNS and mows the lawn again at 1pm. What. The. Hell.

"It Puts the Lotion on Its Skin or Else It Gets the Hose Again..."

In the last hour, I exchanged 20+ emails with Drew. Jealous?? You shouldn't be...it included horrific nerdulance.

So, one quick post before I actually get back to work. I had a weird dream last night: I was in that pit from Silence of the Lambs...you know, the one that Buffalo Bill puts his victims in to starve them? And while, this could have been a scary dream, it totally wasn't. The whole time I was in there, all I could think about was how he put me down there and how he was going to take me out. Yes...I was thinking of the inconsistencies of the movie in my dream.

Think about it...he has to get his victims down this big ol' hole. He can't really push them in without killing them or bruising their beautiful hide. Then to get them out, they have to be alive and go up a ladder (presumably) on their own since he can't carry them up. And he can't really climb after the victim with a gun as they would probably just kick him off the ladder once they got to the top and he was still on it.

So in my dream, he was trying to figure out how to get me out of the hole. I'm really morbid.

Oh the Shame!

I spent all of last night coughing and consequently woke up this morning late and miserable. After mulling it over (in bed, with my eyes closed), I decided that I would ditch class today. The second-to-last class. SHAME! Glad to see that I'm using the time wisely...*snerk*.

Did I mention that I'm now addicted to this stuff? It's instant relief when you can't breathe, I don't know how it works and it's probably not good to be addicted to it, but it's still my best friend. I love you propylhexedrine!

Test

This is actually a test post...I'm trying to figure out how to update my blog via email.  If you're seeing this post, than it worked, and I have no excuse for weeklong pauses in my posting anymore.

 

 

 

Brand Spankin' New.

Fancy pants new look...I'm going to tweak it and make it more my own, but for now this'll do. You people don't know how much work went into putting all my crap (ie: the comments and whatnot) back on. I'm not cut out for the "coding" dealie.

Anyway, I actually got an email inquiring about the movie quote title for my last post. It was from Mystery Men which came out a while ago, and wasn't particularly good, but I did like the PMS-Avenger. I admit it was a stretch.

So, Jamie and I decided that we're not gonna live together next year. Hope he doesn't mind that I'm writing about it here (I'll find out soon enough). While the negatives of this decision are pretty clear (none of that Jamie goodness!), there are some very tantalizing positives. I will now solely focus on these positives to ease my breaking heart:

1. Less tofu! While I like tofu in small doses, the thought of that tofu concoction that Jamie threw together at the end of last summer when we were trying to empty out the contents of our fridge still makes me shudder. I get to put off being a vegetarian for a few more years!

2. DSL! If Jamie and I lived together, we would be dirt poor. If I live in a house full of post-grads or TFA corps members, our combined efforts will be able to afford us cable television and internet. All of the apartment listings I have seen so far included DSL in the price. Sweet.

3. Baltimore is cheaper! I can actually afford to do stuff for fun if I live in Baltimore! Seriously, it's like half the price...almost.

4. The Ocean! Nice to be closer to it. Not to mention, Baltimore also has a nice National Park going for it in the mountains to the north.

5. Did you know that Baltimore is the center for research on the urban ecosystem? I thought that was really interesting.

6. Sleep! Less driving equals more sleep.

7. Teaching buddies! If I live in a row house with other TFA members it'll be like we have our own little frat/sorority! Except without the snottiness! And the Greek letters! And the kegs...okay, maybe we won't be like a frat, but it will be nice to be around people sharing a similar experience and who I can trade "war" stories with.

That's all for now because I can't believe I've been writing this instead of studying for my final. DEATH!

Lockdown.

It is the beginning of the end. We have one week left of class before completing our four year term at Williams. And what a week it is.

Shit is about to hit the fan my friends. Let's watch as Melissa scrambles to do all that work that she has been neglecting for the past semester. Will she be able to salvage her grade by pulling off a stellar A+ on her final on Tuesday? Will she be able to start and finish that research paper due on Monday? How about the one due on Thursday? Or that other exam on Thursday? Perhaps it was bad that I didn't do any work last weekend while Jamie was here.

[Whimper].

"I only work four days a month".

Today, in my Psych of Law class, I learned that PMS is a legitimate excuse for assaulting an officer. Our last topic of the year has been the use of the insanity defense in the courtroom, and apparently there is precedence for women to use PMS as a kind of "insanity defense". Apparently, the first case of this in the U.S. was sometime in the last decade:

A woman was driving home from a party after having had too many drinks. Incidentally, she also had her two children in the car. A traffic cop stopped her for her erratic driving, and when the officer came up to the window he noticed a strong odor of alcohol. He asked the woman for her driver's license and registration -- which she refused to give him. She pointed out that she was a doctor and did not deserve to be treated in this "disrespectful manner". She then slapped his hand away instead of giving him her information. When he asked her to get out of the car and put her hands on her head (in order to administer a field sobriety test) she kicked him in the groin. She then began to berate him further, using foul language and citing once again that she was a doctor. Eventually, the officer was able to get her to take a breathalyzer test and found that she was, indeed, driving under the influence.

In court, the woman contested that she was PMS-ing and therefore was highly irritable. She also had another doctor testify that alcohol is all wonky during that particular part of the menstrual cycle (true). Based on this, she was found not guilty of assault and drunk driving. To which I say: whatever. I don't care if PMS does make you more susceptible to the negative effects of alcohol -- she's a doctor, she should know that and not drink as much and then get in a car with her children and drive. WHATEVER.

While I know that some people are much more affected by PMS than others -- it should not really excuse people from assault! All those people who assault others in crimes of passion are probably "irritable" also since they might have just found their spouse in bed with somebody else. Even people suffering from premenstraul dysphoric disorder (PMDD) -- which is basically PMS x 100 -- would hopefully know about their disorder by the time they have kids and would know that they shouldn't consume alcohol.

Bah! Incidentally, another interesting fact: did you know that of the crimes committed by women 39% AND 40% (for a grand total of 79%) of the crimes were committed while they were PMS-ing? A significant difference! The cycles were divided into four stages so the random distribution should have been 25% across the board...

Still, I would like to think that I don't get irritable so much as emotional during those four days of the month.

Recycled Books.

It's as if The Powers That Be actually read my blog. Now I can sell my books without stupid user fees. Thank you Williams student with lots and lots of time on your hands! (Or possibly -- and more likely -- just an overachieving busy one).

How Do You Get Lots of Women to Smell Lots of Sweaty T-Shirts?

...say it's in the name of science.

So I’m sick...and it’s Jamie’s fault. In high school, we used to think that we were immuned to one another: I would get sick and he would spend all this time with me and inevitably come in contact with my sick germs but never get sick himself. I have since learned that he is immuned to me...but unfortunately, I am not immuned to him. * COUGH *

This talk of illness and smelling brains reminded me of a conversation I had with a prof sometime last year. He had just been to some kind of conference where they had been discussing the role of immune systems in human attraction. Interesting stuff!

As we’ve known for a long long time, smell plays a significant role in mate attraction. But, what people find attractive varies from person to person. Apparently, what shapes odor preference is actually one’s own immune system – thus, people will think someone with a very different immune system (with fewer overlaps to one’s own immunities) is more attractive.

So in some study, they put women in a room with t-shirts that had been worn by different men. Of course, the women were given an unworn t-shirt to smell first (a control). Then they went around and smelled all the shirts and chose which ones they thought smelled the “sexiest” or most pleasant. On the whole, women chose the t-shirts belonging to men who’s major histocompatibility complex varied the most from their own. Evolutionarily-speaking it makes sense since that means their progeny will be invincible in their smelliness.

I guess that means that I’m not at all attracted to Jamie, since I get sick when he is sick (meaning we both lack the immunity), but that he’s attracted to me (since, things that make me sick – he’s immune to). Or wait, do I have that backwards? Now, I’m confused.

Perhaps this theory is beans and all my bio friends can set me straight. In the meantime...I think it’s sorta cool.

Mmm...Brains...

So, as you know, Jamie came to visit me this past weekend. Consequently, I was pretty much giddy all weekend. What I didn't count on was Jamie being just plain weird. For example:

[Subjects are sitting around just hanging out]

Jamie: [sticks nose into Melissa's ear]
Melissa: WHAT are you DOING??
Jamie: I like to smell your brains.

Weird.

Comped Compy.

When I was little, my dad would come home from his fancy-pants doctor's conference with bags full of goodies that pharmaceutical and insurance companies would shower upon the attending doctors. These goodies included mountains of pens, notepads, band-aids, desk blotters, calendars, CDs, and a random assortment of things. Of course, all of the goodies would have the company's name written all over it -- once I walked through an airport before realizing that the bag I was using had "Vagisil" written in large letters across it and once I even went to school with a pencil pouch from a company that made hemmoroid cream. Still, it was worth the oodles of good stuff. The reason I bring this up now, is because my dad was given a free computer this week...like, a real Dell computer with a real flat-panel display. Also, multiple gigahertzes (spelling?) on a Pentium 4 processor. Oh, and a new laser printer.

Do you think they give these kinds of goodies to poverty-stricken elementary school teachers? Only time will tell.

[Holds Floppy Wrist in the Air After a Swished Field Goal (basketball not football)]

COUNT IT! Looks like somebody went and got himself all nerdified.

Drew of "Rudy, Rudy" fame will be a marvelous addition to your evening procrastination routine...but I have to admit that I am a little worried. After all, his life is much more interesting than mine and I may lose my following (of three). But, he is getting married in a month. Oh, and he's moving. And, he has a job that involves sitting at a computer a lot and interacting with frantic college students and staff (I'm actually not sure about that, but I needed a third). In sum, he meets all the requirements of having a great blog. All I can say is: vaya con Dios, Drewie. Do me proud.

Rudy! Rudy!

Whoa... with great power comes great responsibility. I have been given access to the blog by Melissa, and now I'm not sure if I'm ready to accept the challenge... I mean, the relative anonymity of making comments was fun, but now I very well could become the subject of comments. Let the wise-cracking and heckling begin! [nervous laugh]

It seems that every blog post has to include either a funny antecedent, or a self-depreciating story. And while my pummeling of Jamie at Madden Football tonight (ending his 3-0 streak, not to mention his tyrannical reign) was satisfying, I'm not sure it qualifies as amusing... or embarrassing (although I am a 24-year-old with an X-Box). Rather, I look at it as a return to power and exertion of my hegemony.

[cheering crowd: "Rudy! Rudy!"]

In closing, I'd like to express my dislike of telephone interviews. I had one today, and was constantly feeling the need to explicitly tell the interviewers on the other end when I was finished answering. Instead, I just sort of kept mumbling...
kind of like now.... feeling uncomfortable....

End-of-post.

Today's the Day.

So excited. I get to pick up Jamie from the airport in so soon. Life is good right now.

Also: today is Abby's birthday! So here for your enjoyment is a little story about Abby:

She can't do a raspberry. You know, that thing where you stick out your tongue and then blow thereby making the wet farting noise. That noise that all little 7 year olds do on the playground. She can't do that. So for the past four years we (my entry/housemates) have tried to teach her...mostly when nobody wanted to do work. Each of these lessons would end up being us sitting around the room trying to make as offensive/realistic fart noises (the uncontested champ is Jess) and giggling like little school children. The loser would always be Abby because she didn't seem to get the concept of sticking out your tongue and blowing while keeping your tongue out.

Incidentally, she also can't fake snore. She exhales instead of inhales and nothing you can do can get her to do otherwise -- it's uncanny.

So here's to Abby: for all of those nights spent laughing and wasting time making fart noises. College is that much better because of you -- although I'm sorry it couldn't teach you how to make annoying noises. Happy Birthday.

P.S. As it is her birthday...she no longer sucks.

Why Abby Sucks.

This could have been an incredible post, but it was thwarted by Abby. She is stifiling my creativity (and she calls herself an Art History major...pfft!). Just know that something good could have gone here. Real good. But ABBY won't let me put it in.

Send angry emails to her. (Send it to me and I'll forward).

...More Like SUCKbay.

In an effort to procrastinate more productively (heh), I attempted to sell some stuff on eBay. Namely, old books that I don't want to have to move come June. Little did I know that eBay charges all kinds of seller fees...it's like, 15 cents to initially put something up, 30 cents if you want to put a picture, 15 more cents if you want to put a preview picture, 30 cents if you want to put an enlarged photo up, and not to mention they get 5% of your winnings, and of course there are all sorts of other fees. Making it so that unless you're going to sell lots and lots of things, it's totally not worth it. Which is too bad, because I was starting to get all psyched at the thought of watching people pay money for my junk. Granted, it would be like $7...or $6.65 after giving that 5% to eBay...so not worth it.

Hey...anybody interested in some old books?

BOOM BOOM BOOM.

My blog is lonely on the weekends because nobody reads unless they're at work. Or trying to procrastinate. It really makes blogging lonely, when you know that nobody is actually going to read your posts for days and days...

Anyway, I got new speakers for my computer -- they're all crazy like! I can feel my music! Gone are the days when I would have to use my headphones because I couldn't stand the lame-ass laptop speakers. Here are the days when I can annoy Abby with my bass! [insert preemptive sorry Abby here]. I have definitely listened to much more than my share of cheesy pop music this week because it just sounds so good on my new speakers. Thank you Maroon 5. Thank you Jewel. Yes, I know I'm very behind in my pop music...I live in Williamstown, Mass. Also, Jamie is an indie rocker and I would never hear the end of it if I started listening to pop music regularly. Well...I'll let you in on a little secret...way back when, Jamie used to listen to the GOO GOO DOLLS. AND, he BOUGHT Jewel's poetry book. That's right. I went there.

[Turns up Intuition]. BOOM...BOOM...BOOMBOOMBOOM...BOOMBOOM!

Bill Has Been Killed...(or has he?)

Yesterday, I saw Kill Bill Vol. 2 with Jess. It was good. I know everyone who saw both Kill Bills says this, but the second one reminds me a lot more of Pulp Fiction. It was a lot more chatty. Being that I absolutely loved Pulp Fiction in high school, it is safe to say that I loved this movie too. It was definitely, deliberately slow in parts -- there is one scene where the screen is just blank for a good minute or so -- and there were also parts where Tarantino is just waving at his fans by making obvious allusions to his older movies (but I just love that kind of stuff), but all in all...great film. Go see it. Even if you didn't see the first one and are too scared to...it'll still make sense (although the ending probably won't be as resolved).

Overall Rating for Kill Bill 1: A
Overall Rating for Kill Bill 2: A/A-

Incidentally, there was a lady in front of us who kept on talking at normal volume to the people around her. While this normally would bother me a whole lot, I didn't even notice it all the time since I was really engrossed in the movie. However, there was this one time where she made some guy -- presumably her husband -- leave the theatre with her for, like, 10 or 15 minutes...thereby making him miss a crucial/climactic scene. I'm sorry...I don't care how good friends we are, or even if we are bonded by the holy bonds of matrimony: I'm not leaving the crucial, climactic scene of a movie like Kill Bill for you. Suffice to say, he was pissed that she was making him leave.

Editor-in-Grief.

I can contain myself no longer: this week Jamie is coming to visit me! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I just have to get throught this mountain of work so that I might actually have time to play with him while he's here. Still, HE'S coming! HERE! [dances].

In other news, I finally know about my schedule for this summer...and it don't sound like much fun. It's a lot of training and learning how to be a teacher, and also working on the yearbook. Last week we went to a performance by Jess' music group and I realized that the instant gratification after months of preparation and hard work is something I haven't experienced since 7th grade. I've never stood in front of an audience applauding for me, after I had performed my heart out, nor will I ever probably. The closest I will get to it, I guess, is this yearbook...which better be good. And even then, it wouldn't be people applauding or whatever, but rather complaining about their portrait, or lack of representation, or price, or...I just hope that I can look at it -- completed -- in the fall and be happy with myself.

After a meeting today, I was encouraged by the fact that out of 452 seniors, we got 441 senior portraits taken -- the most we have ever had in the 100+ years of existence of the book. I really don't think this can be right though...I would imagine in 1819 or something we could have had a whole class picture since there were only, like, 12 people in the school. Whatever, I'll take the compliment. But, I hope you eleven truants are happy.

A Mighty Snore.

Today while I was in class I had a delayed reaction. Over break (really delayed reaction), Jamie and I watched "A Mighty Wind" -- the Christopher Guest mockumentary about folk singers. Anyway, there is one character that cracks me up, and for some reason I thought about him and couldn't stop laughing. In the middle of Shakespeare. And we were talking about death.

Prof:...so after Gloucester thought he had plummeted to his death, why didn't Edgar reveal himself?
Melissa's Brain: [quoting "A Mighty Wind"] "Wha' happened??" (snicker)
Prof:...anyone?
Class: [silence]
Melissa's Brain: "I got a new red wagon!...I don't think so!" (snerk) Tee Hee!

I need more sleep. And I need to stop procrastinating and finally get to work.

Wha' happened??

Nerdular Nerdence.

I wiped out today...and by "wiped out" I mean fell down specTACularly! Luckily, I had the embarrassment factor going for me and I hardly noticed that it hurt. Now, I'm paying for it though. Somehow, I mistepped on my bad knee and it decided to just completely collapsed. I had my hands buried deep in my pockets and couldn't pull them out in time, so I fell flat on my face and banged my head. The girl who had been walking behind me freaked out because she thought I had died. We laughed about it afterwards.

P.S. New StrongBad.

Glory Be.

My iPod is back to its former glory. I don't remember if I posted about this before -- I may have been too traumatized -- but right before break I managed to somehow erase all 3,000+ songs from my iPod. It was sad. I had actually been daydreaming about listening to a wonderful mix of songs from my iPod as I drove across the country...only to erase it the night before I left for home. It was quite sad.

BUT, as I said before, my iPod is now back to its former glory. [Does a little dance].

[Scratches Head]. Someday we will run out of things to do for entertainment. Maybe someday soon.

You Would Be Bitter Too.

Another glorious day in Williamstown.

Yesterday’s test went okay. Yes, I was allowed to use scrap paper and pencils that they supplied – big sigh of relief. Since it was computerized, I was able to see my results on two of the sections (reading and mathematics) immediately after the test. I passed! And I actually did much better than I thought I did (I ran out of time in the math section…) So now all we are waiting for is the score for my writing section and my written essay (which I didn’t finish). Oh well…cross your fingers.

So the test proctor was the meanest lady ever…

Exhibit A:
Melissa: (a couple weeks ago scheduling a time for the exam and spelling her name for the record)…U…M as in “Mary”…E…Z as in “zebra”…A…
Mean Lady: CAN WE HURRY UP HERE, THERE IS A TIME LIMIT ON THIS CALL.
Melissa: …sorry. A, K, I
Mean Lady: SLOW DOWN.

Exhibit B:
Mean Lady: [looking into the testing room from behind a one-way mirror and speaking to her co-worker]…*ugh!* that kid is here again??? Can’t he just pass his test already?
The Kid: [coming out for a break] Can I have a break?
Mean Lady: How many breaks have you had??
The Kid: um…just one…
Mean Lady: Fine! But you have to hurry up! Other people have to take their tests too and they need to use the computer that you’re at!
Mean Lady: [after the kid is outside of earshot] I hate that kid!
Melissa: [cowering in waiting room].

You can bet I was super-nice and submissive when I actually had to speak to her. (I think she liked me).

Does Not Compute.

I just noticed that I'm not going to be allowed to bring scrap paper, pens, or pencils into my exam tomorrow. [Nervous laughter]. I'm taking a MATH test tommorrow and I'm not allowed to bring scrap paper. It was bad enough that we're not allowed to use calculators...but NO scrap paper. Even if I can do simple arithmetic in my head (HA!), I still like to be able to jot down my thought process so I can review it later. Plus, I'm mathematically-challenged! Don't they understand that I need to be able to write down everything in order to compute it? How am I supposed to do long division?? Decimals?? Algebra?? [Hyperventilates].

There must be a mistake. There is no way that they would allow people taking the paper version of this test to use scrap paper, but not allow that luxury for people taking the computer-version. Or maybe the computer version will be much much easier...although that would hardly be fair. Okay, now I'm scared. Hold me.

Derek Zoolander's School for Kids Who Want to Read Good (and Do Other Stuff Good Too).

I think that this blog has had a negative effect on my writing skills. Since I write the way that I think on this thing, all grammar goes to shit and sentence structure is non-existent. My loves for the period and em-dashes and semicolons are also blatantly obvious. My obsessions for the latter two began in my 11th grade English class when Mr. Bellon (Best. Teacher. Ever) said that they made sentences more fun and interesting when used correctly. Unfortunately, I don't really use them all that correctly anymore...

This wouldn't bother me (as I tend to get by) except for the fact that I'm taking a test for teacher certification tomorrow in which I will need to use proper grammar and correct sentences and the like. Me, being stupid, had been so preoccupied with the mathematics section of the exam that I hadn't even looked at the writing section until now. No worries, it's not actually a huge deal since I hadn't really studied for anything on this exam, but rather just dived right into the diagnostic exam (A SIX HOUR DIAGNOSTIC, MIND YOU). According to the diagnostic, I'll be fine in math [insert puzzlement here] and sucky in writing. Granted, I didn't take the essay-writing part of the exam because I don't want to write an essay right now...but I suck in writing! Maybe I can tell them that English wasn't my first language?

Apparently, "rainforest" is actually "rain forest". Who knew? Or is that common knowledge and I've just been spelling it wrong all my life? Now, I have to go take the reading diagnostic. I bet I don't know how to read.

Busted Brain.

It's just one of those days...after sitting through a class in which it was blatantly obvious that no one did the reading, I came home and realized that I had forgotten to write a five-pager that was due in four hours. Don't know how I forgot...it's not like I was busy doing the readings. Luckily, the paper topic was pretty straightforward and I could whip out a pleasant piece of poo with three minutes to spare. Sure, I did skip my adjudication class but...priorities, people!

My stupid brain also forgot to RSVP for the fancy pants trustee dinner tonight that I was invited to (no idea why) and now I will be eating reheated soup and studying, when I should be eating beluga caviar and dancing on rose petals (andbrownnosinglikeagoodn'toadylittlewilliamsseniorwhohaslittlefuture). Whatever. I don't want a million dollars anyway. Bah-humbug!

Doomsday Post.

A scene from class last Monday: Senior Seminar for Environmental Studies Concentration

[scene: class of ten senior concentrators and about eight prospective students – why they chose to attend a three hour class for seniors is beyond me – discussing the week’s readings on philosophy and spirituality in relation to environmental ethics. It is about one hour into the discussion.]

Professor: …so I have been having this debate with my wife for a little while now, maybe I’ll share it with the class. I have this thought that when I grow old and senial, I should be taken to a place with a large population of carnivores and left there.
Seniors: [silence]
Prospective Frosh: [mild terror]
Senior #1: Like in a coliseum?
Senior #2: Umm. Wouldn’t that hurt?
Prof: Ya…but, it’s too late for me to go down swinging in battle, and it’s probably the next most heroic way to go down. I would rather feed a pack of wolves than a bunch of microbes. At least this way I’d go through a couple more levels of the food chain.
Senior #2: But you can still feel pain!
Prof: [shrugs]
Prospective Frosh: [thinking about Amherst].

Incidentally, this was the same class that gave me the headache a couple posts ago. The dialogue above was one of the few parts of the discussion that I actually understood…if only because I sort of agree with my prof. Although, I’d rather not be fed alive to wild animals…I’m more of a shallow-grave-in-the-woods (post-death) type of person.

That was morbid. Sorry.

My “Kill Bill” DVD came today. While I lack the time to actually watch it, I did watch the first scene (which I had missed when I saw it originally), which contained a vital piece of information. Let’s see how long I can hold off of watching the whole thing…

Did you notice that since Schwarzenegger (or however you spell his name) became the governor of California we had fire, ice storms, mudslides, floods, and now this? Someone is pissed…or trying to keep me out of Cali…or at least Los Angeles.

Overall, this post was a downer. But here’s something I just found that is somewhat uplifting…I know Jamie will appreciate it since he’s critical of the illegal (although environment preserving!) nature of mp3s, and so addicted to music. Incidentally, I also found out that in order to be a “carbon-neutral” citizen, I just need to plant 30 trees! I have racked up nine so far…although seven of those were TreePeople trees where I had other people helping me so I guess all of those should just count as two trees. Still…I’m on my way. [Points green thumb] Are you? [/end lecture].

B'oh.

You know how in movies there are sometimes those scenes where the hero has just lost the girl and is walking down some rainy street -- down on himself because nothing seems to be going his way -- when all of the sudden, as if some greater being is poking fun at him, some taxi cab goes whooshing by and splashes a mud puddle into his face?

Ya. That actually just happened to me. It wasn't a taxi cab though...it was some HUGE truck. And I hadn't lost the girl, I was just walking back from my parking space which is actually over a mile away. In the rain. I lose.

"Oh no! Now you're doing a hip-hop dance on my head."

New StrongBad (sort of).

My brain actually hurts from sitting in class today. I'm just not cut out for philosophical, religious discussions. It was interesting though...I think.

In other news, I just sliced into my pineapple. It was yummy, and now I have a big bowl of fresh, ripe, sweet, juicy, pineapple in the fridge. Life is good. Even though my brain still hurts.

You know what I noticed though? During the class -- as I got more and more puzzled (it's a three hour class) -- my headache got worse and worse. But, as my headache worsened, I noticed that my vision was getting better. Normally I'm almost blind (even with the contacts on). By the end of class I could see every clearly and even read the calendar off the wall across the room. It was great! I guess my eye muscles were tired and stopped pulling my lenses so tightly...or whatever function it is that makes people near-sighted.

Ow. Stupid brain. Get out of here Nebulaan.

Two, Four, Six, Eight! Let's Help Me Procrastinate!

One might wonder why I am posting again. To those people I would answer: "it is because I was recently made aware that people actually read this thing, when I got, not one, but two (!) emails telling me to update." Joy. Nothing like other people's need for procrastination pushing me to procrastinate!

In other news: I'm starting to get bored with my blog design. It crossed my mind to find another service which might allow me to post pictures and other diversions. But then I would have to pay. Granted it's only like, $5 a month...but I shouldn't have to pay to procrastinate. Especially when there are such fun things like this (thanks Gittes) or this (thanks Marina) which I can play for free. As an aside, try to beat my penguin score of 2300 (I got it on my second try, and have never been able to get remotely close again).

Another reason that I shouldn't upgrade -- the aforementioned lack of funds and (probably) internet next year.

[cries].

Will Work for DSL.

Today while I was (not) doing my reading, I began to think about next year. Next year I will be broke. I will not have the comfort of free heating and energy, and *gasp* high-speed internet.

This actually worries me a lot. My brother is a fossil (he just had a birthday) and he went to school before the internet was mainstream. There was no email. There was no StrongBad. There was just tons and tons of lameness. Me, on the other hand, depend on email and the internet...I can't fathom life without them.

Would it be bad if I cut "corners" and not have a phone line or television or heat (or food) so that I can afford high-speed internet? This bodes poorly for my unborn children.

Disturbed.

As you may or may not know, I have picked up knitting again. I figured, what with all the driving across the country and all, I should have something semi-productive to do in the car. So I did. And I made some hats and some scarves. I also got really really far (like, two rows away from finishing) a bag before realizing that I had fucked up majorly on the first row and had to tear the whole thing apart. I couldn't bring myself to do it, so I gave it to my mom to tear up. It was sad.

ANYWAY, the real reason that I bring this up is because I just stumbled upon something really really disturbing. This design for a hat. It is disturbing for a number of reasons:

1. LOOK AT IT. It is hideous.

2. People are expected to pay $30 for said hat. In fact, not actually the hat, but the yarn and instructions for how to MAKE the hat. Thus, in actuality, after hours of toil you will get a butt-ugly hat that won't even look as straight and clean as the one in the picture.

3. This is the most horrifying of them all. IT'S OUT OF STOCK. Meaning people actually have paid $30! And there are small children running around with butt-ugly headware.

Why should someone pay $130 to make this sweater? If I was going to spend the time to freaking make myself a sweater, I would expect to save money. I agree that knitting has therapeutic functions...and there is such a good rush when you finish something...but I'm sticking to cheap-o yarn and free patterns. And running far far away from cornea-damaging cardigans.

I conclude that knitting makes people go blind. Maybe I should stop since I'm blind already.

Wet Cement.

Am I a bad person for thinking this is hilarious? Yeah. I probably shouldn’t have gone there.

…

How about this one?

I just ate a lot of applesauce. Now I feel kind of sick. Have you ever read “Matilda” by Roald Dahl? Do you remember the part of the book when the mean ol’ principal (who would vault children across the playground by their pigtails) – Ms. Trunchbull (?) – ordered a boy to eat an entire chocolate cake in front of the school? And he was scared! But then everyone started cheering him on! And then he began eating faster! And then he finished! And Ms. Trunchbull was so mad that she thwacked him on the head with the cake platter! But he was so full of chocolate cake that it bounced off of him as if he were a bag of wet cement! And everyone cheered for him! Yay for Matilda!!! Anyway, I’m like that boy, except instead of chocolate cake, I’m full of Mott’s Unsweetened Applesauce.

Now I can see that Roald Dahl was a little weird. But creative.

Why??

Eyeball Jewelry. There can be no good explanation.

More later...

"Stop Looking at Me Swan".

Today I wanted to see The O.C. The prospect of seeing The O.C. made me arguably giddy. I had missed the last two episodes of said show, and was determined to watch it tonight. I made sure to be out of my meetings in time, brought my knitting to the living room, and parked myself in front of the t.v. at 8:30pm. Yes, I even watched part of American Idol in order to make sure that I did not miss The O.C.

Perhaps now you can understand why I wanted to jam my knitting needle into my temple when this came on instead. I could only watch the first five minutes of the show before become horrified at the premise of the show. (In actuality, I could not change the channel right away for being completely frozen and traumatized at seeing the opening sequence which included gorey pictures). Instead of Seth Cohen's quirky and oh-so-wonderful witticisms, I got "average" women who were so dissatisfied by the way that they looked that they wanted to undergo 3 months of hell (read: liposuction, boob jobs, facial reconstruction, and tummy tucking) on national television so that they could ultimately compete in a "beauty" pageant.

The farthest I want to go in reality makeover shows is Queer Eye, thank you very much.

Needless to say, I was actually productive between 9 and 10pm today. Go figure.

No More Spinny Cups.

Spring Break is almost over. Therefore, I now have more time in which to post...read: more time in which it's either work or blog (in which case I will almost always choose blog). Here's a quick, but selective recap of my break.

Jamie, Jamie's friend from Carleton, and I went to Disneyland. It has been many years since I have been to Disneyland, and while it was very fun and quite a happy place, it was a little bit sadder than I remember. It's not that I "grew up" and am no longer the child filled with wonder. The last time I went to Disneyland I was something like 17...it was more that Disneyland has become much more liability-focused. Consequently, many of the rides had been dumbed down: Star Tours didn't cause any whiplash -- in fact, it was more like I was in a swivel chair and somebody was jerking me around a little bit -- the Mad Hatter's teacups no longer spun on their own axis (I guess someone had complained about that), and the little rocket ships only went half as high as before. It's a sad, sad world when the teacups don't spin.

Also, some guy started yelling at his kid (maybe brother) who couldn't have been more than 4 or 5 years old, for peeing in his pants at the outdoor restaurant. Yes it's a little inconvenient -- but yelling at a four year old about peeing his pants and further embarrasing him in a public place is never good. Now some poor little kid's happy memories of Disneyland are forever tarnished. Way to go stupid dad/brother. Not to mention, I'm sure the Disney "Cast Members" (aka: Staff) are really used to cleaning up pee and it probably wasn't too huge a deal for them. They had a system and within two minutes everything was sterilized and clean again.

Then, my parents and I began our drive across the country. It was actually pretty great. I loved being able to see all of those cities and places in the middle of the country: saw Denver, Omaha, Des Moines, Chicago...um, Buffalo. Throughout the whole middle there, I felt very asian as everyone would stare at me and my family whenever we entered a restaurant in some small town. One woman I met outside the bathroom could not understand how I was from the U.S. and not from China. It was a little surreal.

We left last Sunday...made a stop in Vegas...and continued on our way. We actually got to Williamstown a day and half early. Neener neener neener to all those naysayers. Of course, now we have nothing to do...

Me and Julio Down on the Reservation.

Got home on Thursday night. Went to a concert of Jamie's on Friday night. It was great except that the way that the seating worked out, the entire front row was made up of Jamie fans. This may sound nice in theory, but in reality I think it might have freaked people out. I was a little freaked out that my parents came to show their support for the Jamester, but it was all very sweet too. The singing group was nice -- well done Carleton Singers!

The family also went to the beach house for the weekend. So I drove us there, but when I got there I my dad told me to keep driving...and driving...and stopping at a rest stop...and driving...and driving...until we got to an INDIAN RESERVATION. First of all, I had no idea that there were Indian reservations so close to the coast. I had always thought the government had set aside the very worst pieces of land for cultivating or what-have-you in Utah for Indian reservations. Second of all, my parents are both GAMBLORS. But we knew this.

So yes. We went to an Indian casino. Which was an experience. My parents had thought that Jamie was going to come to the beach house with us, and so had planned to spend the evening in the casinos so that Jamie and I can have some alone time. When they found out that he was going to sit this trip out, my mom had already had her heart set on spending some time with the penny machines. Normally, I might be a little offended, but then I thought that I will be spending 124 hours with this woman while driving across the country (have I mentioned that I was doing that? Expect some very panicked blogs) and so, what's the big deal if she'd rather spend some time with a slot machine.

I came out on top in the end, profitting about $50. I have yet to lose in a casino. Yeah, baby. But, the most exciting part of my night came when I noticed that Julio Iglesias was planning on singing in the showroom later this month. While I'm not going to shell out $70 to see Julio (nor would I really shell out $10), it was still nice to know that he was still alive. I seriously thought he was no more.

On another note, looking back at my last post I realize that I had already kind of screwed myself over for the night (what with the papers and all). May I just say that that probably ended up being one of the sadder (of many sad) all-nighters in my time at Williams. At around 2am I got a phone call telling me I had a last-minute meeting the next morning at 7am. Also, the papers I turned in were really really REALLY poor. Also, I hadn't packed by the time I had left for class the next day. Hooray for sleeping on the plane.

Smelly Pants.

While I'm all for the environment and composting -- big fan here -- I do have a problem with it festering outside my window. Yes, it's only Tuesday nights...but today it's especially horrid. Like, bile and vomit horrid. To compensate, I sprayed my room with some Lysol that I had in my apartment this summer and now I can't stop thinking about this summer. It's true what they say about smell being the more powerful senses when it comes to memory. Well, I guess my dad did spray MY MATTRESS with the stuff so it was sort of all over and overwhelming.

Guess who has a couple papers that she has no desire to write. I'll give you a hint: she likes long walks on the beach and smells like Lysol (Mountain Spring) and detritus...

w00t!

Just got out of my last Selection Committee meeting ever! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! No more ten til two in the morning meetings...no more Hopkins 401. Let the drinkage of the Selection Committee keg begin.

Save the Pinata.

I've been meaning to link people to these videos since they're pretty great...but I wanted to wait for a lull in the posting. My personal favorites are the Nintendo one, the Nutrigrain one, and the Budweiser one. Enjoy.

Anyway, the test yesterday wasn't too horrible, although I don't know if I managed to pass. I don't remember anything from my elementary education. Way to go Mirman. I totally don't have a handle on explorers, the French Revolution, or Eurasia. The most exciting part was when Abby's car decided not to after getting gas during our 20-minute break. With five minutes left on the clock we managed to push the car to safety and jog back in time. Wahoo for standardized test madness. It was almost like that time sophomore year that I got to my AP Spanish exam 20 minutes late because I couldn't find a place to park my car.

The car ended up being okay...after waiting an hour for Triple AAA, and having AAA futz around with the battery for a good forty minutes afterwards. Nothing really worked and the guy was getting really frustrated when we found this teensy-tiny little switch hanging down by the passenger seat floor. Apparently it was a security system of the "flip-this-switch-and-your-car-will-play-dead" variety. We flipped it and the car started. And we were on our merry way. No idea how the switch got flipped in the first place, nor what it was doing on the floor by the passenger seat but no matter.

As soon as we got home I took a monster nap for about an hour...only to wake up with a migraine. I seriously thought I would die. But I didn't. (Yay).

I'll Learn Those Kids Good.

It is much too early in the morning. But, after a mere three hours of sleep last night off I go to Albany to take my Praxis II's. Wish me luck. Expect a full report when I get back -- which sadly, is several hours from now.

Bum BUM.

Study Break.

So when I first heard that they were releasing yet another "Batman" movie, I rolled my eyes and got annoyed. Because, OF COURSE what the world needs is another campy Batman flick. However, the cast has left me somewhat perplexed. They're actually respectable, good, actors...why would they sign on? Am I the only one who thinks that "Batman Forever" was pretty crappy? Still they managed to get:

Michael Caine -- who was nominated (and won, I believe) an Oscar a couple years back for Cider House Rules. Although he did do Goldmember in that time so maybe his standards aren't all that high...

Gary Oldman -- who's awesome. AWESOME.

Katie Holmes -- who I have to sort of like because of my love for DC (sorry Jess). But, to tell you the truth, I actually do respect her movie choices/performances ("Ice Storm", "Wonder Boys", "Pieces of April").

Ken Watanabe -- who I have never actually seen in a film but got nominated for his role in "The Last Samurai" this last year

MORGAN FREEMAN -- who I am going to marry because he is the best actor ever. No one can play pensive, wise, sad, old man better than him. And I have no idea what he's doing in a Batman movie but I'm gonna trust that he knows what he is doing.

Liam Neeson -- who I sort of have a crush on after "Love Actually". He's so tall!

Christian Bale -- who I definitely have a crush on after "Newsies". Incidentally, he's going to play Batman. I wouldn't have thought of him in the Batman role...but then again, I guess the theme of this post is: what the hell are these actors doing in a Batman movie?

Who would have thought that the same character (Batman) could be played by Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney, and Christian Bale?? Not me.

Last, the guy who is directing also directed "Memento" -- which I really liked...in some twisted, f-ed up way. Anyway, I'm still scratching my head about this one...

The Return of the King.

It appears that I was too eager to express my surprise and awe of a news story when I posted that water had been found on Mars. Something bigger has come along. Much Bigger.

Yes, that's right: "The Family Guy" is coming back to television. Not that I ever watched it while it was actually "on" television...my obsession with the show came with its cancellation and subsequent release on DVD and (shhhhhhhhhh!) even some bootlegging via the Network. However, to show my full support of this show I am now going to purchase a DVD box set...and you should too. This show is that good. Let me explain:

This show is comparable to "The Simpsons". While it may not have sparked the cultural craze that "The Simpsons" did in its prime, I definitely have many more laugh-out-loud moments per episode with Family Guy. It's genius. It combines all the best attributes of various pop cartoons: the pop culture references of the Simpsons, the movie/television parodies of "The Critic" and a general lack of good taste and plethora of offensive humor. This show was made for me. You wanna fight about it? Make my day and comment.

P.S. And by "King" I mean Stewie.

Mission to Mars.

Whoa. Apparently, there is evidence that Mars used to have water on it. That sort of blows my mind. I say "sort of" because my mind is currently in a state of mush due to lack of sleep and excess of work. Also, after my bout with the stomach flu I think I may now have strep throat. I'm gonna go to the Health Center later today so they can stuff that oversized Q-tip down my throat. But, in the meantime: water on Mars. Whoa.

Woot.

Sweet Jebus it's a new Teen Girl Squad.

Also, it is 54 degrees outside. Life is good again.