Groan.

It's much too early. Especially when a really loud snow plow goes back and forth in front of my window from 4 through 5:30am. Sleep did not happy until the sun came up this morning.

Today? IS GONNA SUCK.

The "paper" I wrote last night? TOTALLY DOES SUCK.

So do conferences calls for work at 8am.

"I rule".

No reason to post other than to say that I'm done with the paper. It's crap. But it's ten pages of crap -- woot.

That actually may be a new record for me -- 10 pages in under three hours...part of me is scared that I will wake up tomorrow and read this drivel and realize that it only made sense to me because I was still slightly drunk when I wrote it.

We'll see...

Drew Hates Ice Sculptures!

Losing steam here. Page 8.

In other news: I'm going to visit Jamie in, like, 40 hours! How exciting. This means that I will be seeing 50% of the people who read this blog in less than two days! That 50% being Drew and Jamie. Score!

Let me recount a short incident from my last visit with Jamie and Drew around this time.

Melissa, Jamie, Drew, and Meredith: [walking around and enjoying the abundance of ice sculpture at some ice sculpture-fest in Minneapolis]
Drew: I wonder what will happen if I touch one...[touches nearby ice sculpture].
Ice Sculpture: ...
IS: ...[teeter-teeter-TOTTER]
M, J, D, and Mer: !!!
M, J, and Mer: [running away]
Nearby, Fellow, Ice Sculpture Enjoyers: [gasp!]
D: [saves ice sculpture and replaces it]...[sidesteps away]
NFISE: [dirty looks]

Drew, I do believe we have a hot date on Saturday. I will kick your butt in Madden. And by "I will kick your butt in Madden", I mean: "I will watch you kick Jamie's butt in Madden". Also, I want you to knock over another ice sculpture. Seriously, I do. Also, I'm bringing the digital camera so I'm expecting some zaniness.

Okay back to work. Dear Lord please let me pass this class.

Update.

So my compy decided to erase all that I had written before of my paper (only 3 pages) so I had to start from scratch at 1am. That makes me mad.

The good news is that Jamie was a dick to me about being drunk and irresponsible which led me to be all mad and sober up. And immediately write five pages to prove him wrong. Take that.

Five more pages to go.

Tonight I Joined a Secret Frat.

Sadly, I joined said secret frat instead of working on my 10-page paper. CRY. So let's figure this out:

- I have 10 pages to write.
- Due tomorrow at 1pm
- Unrelated meeting tomorrow morning at 8:15am
- Driving to the courthouse at 12pm...
- ...for a mock trial in which I am participating as a key witness
- I am slightly drunk
- I am mostly screwed

Lesson for tonight: When people tell you to drink from the jug of wine handcuffed to Dan's wrist -- don't do it. So. Sleepy.

Outlook is not good for this paper.

P.S. I'm not really in a secret frat...it was just the theme of the kickass party.

Not That Kind of Package...Perv.

I don't know how it happened, but I have a 10-page paper to write for Wednesday. I still have no idea what it's supposed to be on. Wah wah.

Anyway, today I got a package. It was an undergarment that I had purchased through Victoria's Secret Online (I had a coupon). So it arrived today, and the girl working in the mailroom was totally feeling up the little baggy (as you know, most undergarments aren't fragile) to see what it was.

I'm not one to lecture on etiquette, but isn't it not cool to feel up other people's packages?

Doomed to Mediocrity.

(Spelling, anyone?)

I was looking at the "2003 Bloggie" nominees, and I have decided that my blog will never be the stuff of greatness -- it is forever doomed to be mediocre. From what I saw, here are the ingredients for a great blog:

1. Be married or engaged. This way, you always have something to talk about. You can talk about how your husband farts in his sleep or how he said something uncharacteristically chauvanistic or whatever. If you're engaged you can always talk about the planning of the wedding (which will almost always be wacky and unpredictable).

2. Be unemployed or have a job with so little responsibility that you can spend hours looking for random news and weird stories on the internet (See #3).

3. Find and link to random news and weird stories on the internet.

4. Have a dog that you treat like a child. A spoiled, rotten child. (This is not to be confused with actually having a child: that makes you not have time for #3 and otherwise boring since you would rather sleep than upkeep a stupid blog. There are exceptions -- see #5).

5. Be pregnant. This makes you wacky and unpredictable and brings hours of fun as you complain about those people who touch your belly or make stupid comments to your pregnant ass. Also, if you're employed you will probably take some maternity leave to relax at home, put your feet up...andsurfthenetandupdateyourblog (see #2 and 3).

6. Take pictures and put them on your blog.

7. Be willing to candidly talk about your bowel movements and other such taboo items.


Here is my answer to the requirements:

1. Nope. And wouldn't do it for the sake of a blog. I will, however talk about the friends and boyfriend (to their chagrin, I'm sure).

2. I'm a student. There is as much responsibility in that as you decide to put into it. As you can see my the past two months -- that's very little. I should be okay on this front.

3. Here is my entry for today: www.audi-oh.com. (Thanks Abby).

4. You all know that I would be happy to oblige the Blog-Gods on this one.

5. No. Although rest assured, I will complain if anyone touches my belly (pregnant or not).

6. ...and pay for this service? No.

7. In person we can talk about whatever you desire. Trust me, my goal in life is to be that sex expert on the Oxygen network. But, as long as my brother and who knows who else is reading this blog, I draw the line at pointing you towards weird, scary, sex toys (see #3).

Gotta go to a meeting (a DEATH meeting).

Hacked.

I'm actually running out the door, but figured I would update. I can't check my email right now and it's driving me insane. So instead of pulling out all of my hair: I blog. Apparently, some hacker-type managed to get into our network and access a bunch of email accounts and whatnot. They decided to close down those accounts that were affected. Of course, I'm included among those. Of course. Moral of that story is: you can never be sure if this is really "Melissa" updating these blogs or some savvy hacker who has stolen her identity. Actually, my life isn't very interesting and I'm sure the little hacker guy quickly moved on from my non-credit card number containing emails.

I watched another episode of "The OC" last night. While better than the last episode, I still don't really see what all the fuss is about. However, the previews for the next new episode was intriguing...er, at least what I saw of it since a bunch of my housemates came into the room at that point and I couldn't really hear what was going on. Dammit. Maybe I will watch next week's "classic" episode and see an episode that people generally think is good. I really do like the "Seth Cohen" guy. Good acting on Adam Brody's part.

Can anyone tell me how I know "Oliver"? I know I have seen him somewhere else, but I can't put my finger on it. First one to tell me is a superstar. Oh wait, just looked him up, and it turns out he was on "The DC". He played a younger version of Pacey. He was blonde then so that's why I didn't recognize him. ACK! Why are all new actors and actresses ("starlets" if you will) younger than me?? WTF?? Did you know that Keira Knightley is 18?? Whatever. Britney Spears is still older than me...by a day.

Well, now I am more partial to watching this show because of its connection to my dear Pacey. Although, it does look like young Pacey is going to be blowing his brains out soon. That kind of sucks.

You know what else sucks? The fact that I am now late for my meeting. Thanks guys.

Puppy Love.

Sorry about the lack of bloggage. I suck sometimes, but what can you do?

So today I was drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper and I noticed the new contest they're having. The grand prize is to be in a Nintendo game. I'm having trouble understanding the appeal of being caricatured and being the object of some new, overpriced (unless on eBay), video game. Not to mention the fact that you would probably just be an "extra" in the video game...although a video game featuring me about my life would be such the best seller. The purpose of it would be for me to get a puppy. Obviously.

Speaking of which, I had the BEST dream the other night. I have always had this fantasy (still do) that I would come home from some horrible, terrible, no-good, bad day and when I opened my door to my room there would be a little puppy waiting for me on my bed because some kind soul decided to surprise me. So anyway, in this dream, IT HAPPENED. And I knew it was just a dream but it didn't matter because I had a puppy and I just carried it around everywhere and we went to a museum and then it took a big dump that was twice its size. And then we got lost in the museum but I didn't care because I had my puppy for companionship. What a great dream.

Did you know that you could buy a puppy online? They actually ship the puppy to you! I worry a bit about that.

Edited to Add: How lucky are those kids to have not one, not two, but a plethora of puppies?? Lastly, damn are those puppies expensive...are they magic puppies?

The Return of the Comment

Finally it is done. And all I had to do this whole time was check my email. Apparently, the service I was using before went under, but not before transferring all my account information to some other service. Sweetness.

After all the trouble I went through for that you all better write me stuff. Seriously folks.

Today is a yearbook day. Also known as a super-nerd day. I'm going to be stuck here until my eyes are dried open. Would it be bad of me to stop being editor??

"Really Really Ridiculously Good-Looking"

Still no comment-posting. Boo.

Today I saw "Along Came Polly". While it had potential to be a great comedy, it was still pretty good. I love Ben Stiller. I love Hank Azaria. I also like it when Alec Baldwin plays skeevy old men. Also, some side characters were putting on "Jesus Christ Superstar" which has a special place in my heart right now since Jamie's directing it over at Carleton. I appreciated the coincidence.

Overall score for "Along Came Polly": B+

In other news, it's warming up over here! It's now 16 degrees! Wee! (kill me please).

@&*%!

I just completely futzed my blog trying to program a new commenting thingie. It's unfortunate that I am not more skilled in blogging artistry. So, this is just a test -- hopefully below this will be a little commenting option...if not...then I will change the title to @&*%!

The People Have Spoken.

Due to lack of comment option, I will respond to emails about "The O.C." here: I am giving it another chance. It better impress me next week. But, I did get not one, not two, but four emails telling me that Wednesday's episode was a "uncharacteristically bad" and "stinky caca-episode".

For my one class this month (it's Winter Study -- the most wonderful time of the year) I'm taking a course that pairs us up with a social worker or attorney or someone otherwise involved in the Juvenile Court system. Since I am going to be teaching in the low-income community of Baltimore next year -- wait, did I even mention that before?? I'm teaching in BALTIMORE next year -- I figured it would be interesting to pair up with a social worker and get an idea of what I might be able to expect. Not that Pittsfield, MA are all that similar to Baltimore, MD but...

Anyway, I sort of want to strangle the guy I was paired up with. He is the epitome of the sad story of someone who may have started the job with optimism and the desire to fix things, but who has long since resigned himself -- thereby dragging down the children under his care. This is a direct quote (I had my journal with me and wrote it down when he left the room): "You'll find that lots of these kids are so bad that you need to stick 'em in jail for a little bit -- let them have their food taken away from someone bigger, let them get assaulted while behind bars -- just so they try to be better once they're out."

So that's "rehabilitation". And these are the people that are supposed to be looking out for the children of Pittsfield. Now I'm all worked up...I'm going to make some tea. Back later with update.

Still freaking cold over here.

Yesterday I finally watched "The O.C.", I was a bit disappointed because it was not nearly as good as everyone made it out to be, nor was it as good as it sounded on the recaps. I think I'm just much too annoyed by Mischa Barton (or however you spell her name). I will give it another chance though -- mostly because I like Peter Gallagher in it. Also Adam Brody.

In other news, I'm really annoyed that the comment option has disappeared for what seems like good. No more witticisms from Drew. It has truly left a vacant place in my heart. I'm working on finding a new system for that -- but my "Google-ing" skills are limited and all I can find are people's blog sites. Also, my little mood indicator is gone. Sadness (if it were there I would be a sad face).

Lastly, my Beirut skills are gone. Completely. This is not cool people.

An Open Letter to Williamstown.

Dear Billytown,

Can I call you "Billytown"? Actually I don't care what you would prefer because yoooou stink like an ELEPHANT'S BUTT! What is this "high of -5" crap?? You can take your purple mountains and your New England autumns and shove them up your behind. Not happy here Billy.

Cheers,
Disrguntled and Cold in the Berkshires.

------------

Seriously folks, it's COLD here. I was also thinking about writing an open letter to the guy who invented that ad for Disarrono describing its "warm, sexual taste". That's just nasty.

On another note, I met a New England "Magic: The Gathering" champion last night. He goes to Williams! While I myself never played magic in my youth -- although once I was traumatized when someone thought I was when I brought Tarot cards to school in 8th grade -- people I know and love were once avid fans of the geeky pasttime so I thought I would share this incredible news.

"Your Head A Splode!"

It's like Strong Bad read my mind. Good one this week. Check it out. (I spent way too much time playing the 3D one with the floating head.

Feeling less crap today.

[Nose Honk].

I am not well. My head is going to explode into a goopy mess. Also, the fact that it's freakin' sub-zero temperatures outside doesn't make me feel any better. However, I think this cold can only get better so...

I am now going to confess a love for a new show. The interesting thing is that I haven't actually watched an episode of this show -- only read the recaps -- but somehow I am now addicted. I have reached a new low, people. The show is "The O.C." and it had been recommended to me by so many people people that I finally caved and looked into it. It was described as "Dawson's Creek" but actually good. Of course I started reading the recaps when I was most vulnerable (during finals) and holycrap I read every episode so far. Still haven't managed to find time to actually watch the show...but when I do...

This "Seth" character ain't no Pacey, but I'll take him anyway. At least there is no Dawson.

"Ruby Luvs Lambuel!"

I almost forgot. One of my lovely and amazing friends directed me to this website a couple days ago. It has since brought me much entertainment and joy.

I would highly recommend clicking on "Mr. Gruff's" head! If you do, he will disperse jewels like: "I never read the Bible, I like Secular TV instead!" or "Hey kid! Wanna read some Ayn Rand?".

I'm totally buying a "Will You Be My Husband?" thong.

Release the Homemaker.

Today is a busy day. The most productive thing to come out of this busy day up until now is the fact that the den of filth formerly known as my room, is now clean. Like, I vacummed and THEN I MOPPED the floor. Not only is it nice to see my floor again, but it makes me realize that I have a HUGE room.I can rollerskate on my nice mopped floor.

Anyway, I have a meeting that starts at 9:30 tonight -- which will inevitably go 'til 1 or 2am. It's weird because since I got back from break, I haven't gone to bed past 2 (well, except for my first night back when I couldn't fall asleep until about 6:30) or woken up past 8:30. I think this whole late night meeting thing will throw my groove off. Dammit.

This One's for Drew...

I wish to preface this post with the news that I had typed out this nice long post for you all and it got deleted by my computer. Oh the frustration.

Anyway, I apologize for the lack of postage but I had my reasons:

1. I was in the internet-deprived Bahamas and boy was it nice. The water was so blue and the temperature is so not-below-freezing. Plus, it was nice to see the Longs and the Umezakis get along (no pun intended). It was a little weird being there for the holidays since you have no concept of the outside world while on the teensy-tiny island of Man O' War Cay. When my dad tried to purchase the most recent newspaper, he got laughed at for asking for the same day's edition (he ended up with the one from two days earlier). As expected, New Year's was a little weird.

2. Back at School. Granted it's Winter Study and we don't have "real" classes, but now is the time to do all those things that I neglected to do fall semester. Which is a crapload.

3. Cleaning my room. Trust me, it's a time-consuming chore. And if you saw it you would believe me. My room is at the stage of UTTER CHAOS since everything has been emptied from my desk and onto the floor. I'm feeling a tad gross.

So, as promised, I will now share with you my performance on my finals...[suspense]
Paper #1 (10 pager): A
Paper #2 (38 pager): A
Paper #3 (15 pager): B+
Final Exam (total study time: 3 hours): A-

Boo-ya for no sleep and sympathetic profs. Still that was the worst 48 hours of work EVER. As expected I got sick the day I got home -- you know, the post-cram, no-sleep flu...(I really hope none of my profs, or anyone who is invested in my education ever ever sees how awful I am...I'm going to be a teacher next year for cryin' out loud).

ANYWAY, life is good. Although I do wish I could return to the Bahamas. Like, now.