On the Road.

Have lots of pictures...but no means of putting them online yet. You'll have to wait for those. But in the meantime: "Heeeeellllllllllo from Hays, Kansas!" Jamie and I are halfway across the country after spending an evening in Las Vegas and Grand Junction, Colorado. Tomorrow, we're going to stop by the Long family farm in Kansas City! Exciting.

On Friday night, Jamie and I got to see the Cirque Du Soleil show which was amazing. I cannot get over how much money they spend on the set...truly amazing. Afterwards, we went to a pretty amazing dinner at Nobu. So delicious. So expensivee. So glad that my dad loves me.

Anyway, I have to go, but I just wanted to check in...expect more updates in the near future...

Voyage

Today is my last day in Los Angeles for a while. Tomorrow morning -- bright and early -- Jamie and I will be starting our voyage back across the country to our new apartment. Tomorrow's destination: Las Vegas. So it's a short leg of the trip, but we figured it was worth it as my parents would be able to come with us (and pay for our hotel and buy us one last nice dinner) and we could meet up with the brother and sister-in-law. We are also going to see another Cirque Du Soleil show...and Jamie will not be put in a box. I think I'm going to drug him beforehand so he won't be quite so perky and volunteer-worthy.

I'm probably not going to be able to post as often...but stay tuned anyway for pictures of our wacky cross-country adventure!

Now I See.

The surgery was a success! Definitely not all that painful (except for one or two “pinches”), more along the uncomfortable side. Since I was pretty much blind without my glasses, I must say that the whole process was definitely worth it for me. I still don’t have my full vision back, but I’m almost 20/20 right now. Cool.

The actual procedure was really quick. I was in the operating room for maybe ten minutes at the most. My only qualm about the whole thing is that I probably wouldn’t want to know exactly what he was doing before I walked in there. Sure, it’s good to know what all those tools are for…but I would have been just fine with: “this won’t hurt a bit”. What was the most uncomfortable about the whole process was knowing that that little squeeze of pressure on my eyeball was them lopping off my lens. Since I they were operating on my eye, I could actually see them coming at me with their eyeball tools. This wreaked havoc on my thinking:

Melissa’s Inner Monologue: This is very Clockwork Orange. What if I make a superhuman blink and I bust off the clamps on my eyelids?? Oh my God what is that thing?? He must be getting ready to open my cornea. WhatamIdoingherewhatamIdoinghere?? Oh! That wasn’t very painful at all…look there it goes and now everything is really extra blurry. So now I have to watch the yellow light…ack! There’s the laser! It smells like burning…that’s my cornea burning. Gross. Ooh! There’s a green light too! I wanna look at that light too…No! I can’t because then that laser’ll totally burn a hole in the wrong part of my eye. Don’t look at the green light don’t look at the green light don’t look at the green light. But it’s so shiny.

Anyway, the process continued like that. I feel that had I not known exactly what was going on it would have been more like “look at all those lights”!

Butterflies.

So I'm heading into the operating room real soon. I'm a little nervous but also excited. If all goes well, I'll be able to crush those disguting glasses that I've had since I was 12. Actually...maybe I will crush them anyway.

Still haven't come to a final decision about the NBC thing. I called the lady and left a message but didn't give a definitive answer. Thanks to all who sent me emails and words of advice...right now, I'm leaning towards doing it. That can all change very quickly though.

Okay. Now I'm going to go have my eyes cut open. Cross your fingers for me!

Goodbye Glasses.

I got back home on Saturday and spent my first night at the beach house. On Sunday morning, there were so many dolphins playing in the water just off the beach in front of my house. They were doing flips and splashing around for hours. Or so I'm told: I was there...I could see the blurry little flashes of gray and frothy splashes of white, but I couldn't see the dolphins clearly. It was sad and I was bitter at the oohs and ahhs of Jamie and my parents who could see them clearly.

It's okay though, because tomorrow (technically today) at noon I will be going under the laser. That's right...my eye surgery. I had my consultation with the doctor today -- apparently I'm blind. I'm also so blind that I'm not eligible for Lasik surgery. Luckily, my eyes are healthy enough and my cornea is thick enough, that I'm good to go. The only drawback is that I may not be able to get all the way to 20/20 to stay. Meaning...somewhere down the road, I might need to get glasses again...but they would be for minor corrections and not the thick lenses I have now. Also, I would be perfectly functional without them...I would just need them if I were going to a theater and wanted to see the action from the back row or driving long distances at night.

Wish me luck! I will let you know how it goes!

I Need a Show of Hands.

This morning at 7am I got a phone call from TFA: apparently they have chosen me to be the subject of a NBC Dateline story about TFA. This would require me to be followed by a camera crew for my entire first-year of teaching. Luckily, I wouldn't be filmed every day -- they are aiming for once a week, but it is more likely that it would something along the lines of once a month. To make up for the times that a camera crew couldn't be in my classroom, I would be given a handheld camera with which to document my classroom antics.

This is a great opportunity. I am terrified.

I need advice! I need suggestions! I need someone to tell me what to do. So far, the overwhelming response has been YES. All day, I have been dreading it for several reasons. Let us weigh the pros and cons:

Cons:

- Having a camera crew in the back of my classroom would be distracting to both me and my students. Although, from my experience thus far, I don't think my teaching would be affected all that much. I tend to zone everything else out while I'm teaching. Over the summer, I would finish up a lesson plan and realize that there had been five people observing me the whole time. I have also been assured that my kids wouldn't be too distracted by the cameras...since most kids tend to have short attention spans, they would quickly forget that they were there at all. Last, teachers are videotaped all the time anyway -- mostly for their own professional development or to give the principal a chance to check up on your work.

- The added stress on the first day. It is challenging enough -- adding a camera crew and the stress of appearing professional on the first day is something that would just up the ante. Blech.

- I am squeamish about seeing myself on t.v. I can barely stomach rereading some of these blog posts -- I can't imagine what it would be like to have to watch myself on television. Seriously...I cannot watch home videos with me in them.

- Time. I'm not sure how much time the whole thing will take...probably not that much at all. Still, it will be my first year teaching, I will be getting my masters at Johns Hopkins, and I live a good distance away from my school. Time will be something I lack.

- The very good chance that I will fail and bring embarrassment and shame to the Umezaki name. My teaching could be a total and utter failure next year. My classroom may not jibe with me, I could completely break down, and it will all be captured on film and broadcast throughout the U.S.

Pros:

- The opportunity. They don't come very often, and when they do come, I hear you're supposed to seize them. Also, it is kind of an honor and it might be bratty for me to turn it down.

- Affecting Change. So, if the whole reason that I got involved with Teach For America was to try and make some positive change in a child's life, wouldn't this documentary be another avenue for me to make even greater changes. Before, I would be able to work with my students and their familes within our little classroom bubble. Maybe this video is the opportunity for me to reach outside that bubble and into the lives of other people. If I could inspire one more person to consider and apply for TFA, than I might be positively affecting their lives and those of their future students. If I'm really true to the TFA mission than this pro should trump all cons -- especially the con about my insecurities. Of course, there is the risk that I will be so crappy that I will actually disuade people from applying...

- I'd be helping TFA. And we all know that I'm fond of TFA.

- It's a good opportunity for me to grow as a person and as a teacher. What better way to learn from my mistakes than to have them documented on film for me to review?

- I would have an incredible collection of memories for my first year.

So...should I do it? Comment and let me know...I'm supposed to tell the lady today...I'm scared.

Saying Goodbye.

Today was my last day teaching at PS 53. It was so hard to say goodbye to my kids...especially because most of them were crying when they walked out the room at the end of the day. It’s amazing how attached I got to these children after teaching them for just a few short weeks (some of them didn’t come into our classroom until last week)! I can’t even beging to fathom what it will be like to say goodbye to my children at the end of the school year in June.

But now I’m getting ahead of myself.


…and instead of doing that, let’s go on a quick photo tour of my class…


Welcome to Our Classroom.


View of the front


The Fabo Collabo – Maria, Danielle, and Diamond this morning before our last day. Bright, shiny faces…


…and of course: all my lovelies.

Want more?

Hard at work.


Khaliq.


Friends.











And I will end with an excerpt from a paper that Jarolis wrote today:
“I know that sometimes I peeve my teachers, especially Ms. Robles, but I am glad they didn’t give up.” She aced her math exam today…

Troubleshooting.

I just spent a good ten minutes erasing my phone...literally, with a pencil eraser. Apparently, that is what you are supposed to do when your phone spontaneously stops working.

This morning, when I woke up my phone hadn't been charging. In fact, it was saying that my battery was invalid. I futzed around with it for a while and ended up writing an email to Motorola to see what the deal was. I had not dropped it, I knew that the chance that both batteries would stop working all of the sudden was small...Their response? Erase the contact points for the battery and the phone with a pencil eraser. So I did. Still didn't work. But, while I was erasing, I did notice that two of the sticky-outy parts of the contacts weren't so sticky-out. I poked and prodded until they stuck out again...now my phone works.

The nine hours without my phone made me realize how dependent I am on this thing. Seriously...it was scary.

Okay. Now for the official good news: I have a job! This time for real! It's the same school I mentioned before, but it's not so sketchy anymore. I spoke to the principal who was awesome and she immediately offered me the position. The catch? I had to be back in Baltimore on the 2nd (next Tuesday) to get trained for a special reading program to be taught in my classroom. They'd pay me...but then I'd lose my one chance to get home this summer. Also, I already bought a ticket to fly home. Also, I'm having eye surgery. Also, my dad gave me expensive tickets to see Cirque De Soliel in Vegas on Saturday....really expensive. Also, I want to drive across the country with Jamie.

So. I told her all this, but I also told her I would see what I could do. All day I fretted over what to do...here was this opportunity to teach 3rd grade (which is what I would really want), at a school that has a really good relationship with TFA. What if I blew it by being stubborn. In the end, I told her no -- I wanted the eye surgery. She was awesome and gave me the position anyway...in fact, I'll still be getting paid to go! I'll just be doing it late August!

So: this is my school! After further research, I realized that this is the best placement in Baltimore for me. I know the teacher I am replacing -- her 3rd graders came to speak to the corps during pre-institute induction about what it was like having a TFA teacher, and she and I had a nice conversation afterwards because I had recognized her from the TFA promotional video that I had to watch so many times. Also, she's such a good teacher that they have shown videos of her in the classroom all throughout training.

She is awesome and offered to help me get set up in the classroom and offer pointers and tips for teaching at Belmont. The only downside of all this is that she is a hard act to follow. Still...I'm really excited. Trying not to get my hopes up, since nothing has been cleared by Human Resources yet...but according to the program director my position at Belmont is "rock solid". Cross your fingers kids.

As Promised...

...I present to you: Devil Squirrel.



So the other day, I was walking back from a meeting at Fordham and I hear this weird noise. It's a loud crunch sound and then a bunch of rustling, followed by squeaking...repeat. It's weird to me because it sounds so nearby, but I can't see anyone in the near vicnity. That's when I see Devil Squirrel. He climbed to the top of the fence (squeaking)...then leaped into a pile of garbage at the bottom (loud crunch)...then rolled around in it (rustling)...then scurried back up the fence (squeak). This he did a number of times before I decided to document it with my digital camera. Then he just sat on the fence and growled at me.

I’m telling you…EVIL. Notice the ratlikeness and the bright orange tail.

My Calves are Bleating.

So what if I haven't updated in a while; life has been somewhat hectic. Here's a quick update for your blogging pleasure.

Today I finally got to teach for the entire day. It actually went really well -- the kids were ANGELS -- but, I have to say that I had nothing to do with their incredible behavior. When I told them to do something, they did it. When I asked for silence, they gave it to me. When I ask for suggestions or volunteers all hands went up. Life is good.

However, I must reflect on me. I wasn't completely pleased with how things went today. I find myself being a pretty big softie. While the kids didn't take advantage of this today -- they could have. Towards the end of the day -- as they got more restless -- I started to worry that they might sense my weakness and exploit it. Luckily, they didn't. I think that this wussiness will not be as big an issue next fall when I have my own class. When I have to work with the kids everyday for 8 hours, I feel like I will be able to be much firmer with my rules and procedures. As it is, I only get them for an hour or two (although today I got them for five) so I don't feel as comfortable being super firm. Also, these kids are in SUMMER SCHOOL. I remember how crappy that was...

My other complaint about today is that my calves. are. SORE. Walking around in three inch heels all day? Not a good idea. I did not sit or lean for four and a half hours in these horrible shoes...surprisingly my feet don't hurt...just my calves. Funny...except not.

In other news, I finally got a phone call from a principal who wants me to teach at her school. I worry though because I think this may be on the downlow. Suspicious. I went ahead and got as much information as I could about the school...so hopefully when I speak to her tomorrow I will have a better idea of what I'm getting into. It seems as though the school needs a lot of help...it hasn't met any goals since 1997 and it is currently 25% below state level in all test results at best.

Also, something interesting to note, looking at the demographics I found that the student body is 100% African-American and href="http://www.jhu.edu/">Johns Hopkins! I am now, officially a grad student and on my way to a Masters for Teaching. Sadly, upon receiving my schedule I find that I will no longer be able to watch The OC as I will be in class and won't get home 'til after 10pm. Oh well. So ends my love affair with Seth Cohen.

You know? After getting the link to The OC website I see that they actually moved! Hello Seth Cohen!

To top off this pretty amazing day: Li'l Brudder.

Warm Fuzzies.

Today Elmer,one of my students, told me I was the best teacher he had ever had. It made me blush. Still, one of the things that I've learned this summer is that kids can toss around statements such as this one pretty easily.  Let's just see if he still likes me when I teach all day on Monday...

I'm beginning to come around on Math.  Seriously, the most rewarding thing about teaching is watching a student have their epiphany.  With math, it's just so concrete and tangible when they finally understand an objective.  They either get the problem right and can explain every step to you, or they can't.

This was the case with Ramon today.  His normal math group teacher had to leave early so he joined my group.  Unfortunately, he was still struggling with adding and subtracting fractions with unlike denominators while my students had already mastered it.  As we kept working on problems -- and he kept on making the same mistakes -- he grew more and more frustrated with himself.  Lighting up whenever he thought he got it and then darkening each time I had to correct his work.

After working through so many problems and bringing out manipulatives and drawing diagrams he finally got it in the 11th hour.  He was so proud of himself (and I was proud of him too) that he asked me for homework problems for practice.  Several high fives later, I sent him to his literacy group center.  Apparently, once he got there he kept on talking about his success in math and he asked if there were any books he could read on fractions.

It was a good day in the classroom today.

Pictures.

I got around to posting those pictures now.  So...


The glasses as modeled by bookworm: professional chic.


The dormroom in the Bronx. It's cozy.


The desk. You may notice: the book on "Reptiles" I plan on reading to my class next time I teach. The massive TFA binder. The floorplan of the apartment Jamie and I were considering (we ended up upgrading to a 2 bedroom version of that floorplan), and the lovely free printer. Bookworm is updating my log for me.

 

Doogie.

So today in the mail I got not one, but TWO packages!  It was like some sort of holiday where gifts are showered upon the unsuspecting.  It made my day.

Package #1: an old Boys II Men single and a nail trimmer.  Odd, I know, but I can explain.  Well...actually no one can really explain the Boys II Men.  Or is it Boyz??  Anyway, this package was a thoughtful gift from Jamie who must have felt like giving me a trip down memory lane to 5th grade.  I will forever remember dancing to "I'll Make Love To You" at my 5th grade dance with my first official boyfriend and thinking how awkward it was.  SO awkward.  Thanks Jamie.

P.S. I couldn't resist and googled the first official boyfriend.  Turns out this guy did something crazy having to do with a merohedral crystal twinning whozawhudzit.  Ya.  And I taught a bunch of kids how to use a dictionary last week.  This guy skipped high school entirely and went straight to college (a good college, mind you) after grade school.  I kidd you not...I called him Doogie while we were dating.  Come to think of it...maybe that's where my Doogie obsession started.  (I had a Doogie obsession in 10th grade -- don't ask.  It was Rent-related).
 
P.P.S. How many of you nosy buggers googled "merohedral crystal twinning" to see if you could find out the identity of said former boyfriend?

The nail trimmer was actually not so much a human nail trimmer, but rather a nail trimmer for felines.  There is the possibility that next year -- when we are living in our own apartment -- we will adopt a cat and my childhood dreams will be fulfilled.  I have already been looking at cat candidates. 

Package #2: My new glasses from the mommy.  This is a long story: as you know Jamie and I spent the beginning of the summer, running around looking for apartments.  We stayed at Jamie's friend's house and accidently left behind a lot of my stuff (see #1).  Have yet to retrieve the stuff and have been glasses-less (and replacement contactless) for most of institute. 

     On the first day of teaching, my left contact ripped slightly -- this tear has been getting bigger each day making my eye more irritated and red with each passing day.  As my eyes have always been red on account of the contacts I am used to it; however, my kids keep on asking me if I'm getting enough sleep (no) because my eyes are bloodshot.  This is a question I get all the time...from my college friends I got asked if I was high.  I decided that this has got to stop.

     My mom has been suggesting that I get laser eye surgery for a long long time.  I have resisted for fear that I would be blinded in a surgery mishap.  I have come to realize that I will soon be blind anyway because my eyes get worse and worse every year at a rapid pace.  Then, little thoughts of me being able to open my eyes in the morning and be able to read the alarm clock first thing flickered into my head.  What would it be like to look at a panoramic view of a city at night and see each individual light?  I always remember the first few days after getting new contacts and realizing that normal people can see each leaf on a tree rather than a mess of green!  Perhaps, with laser eye surgery I will have that everyday!  Or maybe I'll be blind.

       Mom says I should have it.  Mom says she'll pay for me to have it.  I'm scheduled for surgery the day after I get back from NY.  The big catch: I need to not wear contacts for a week before the consultation. 

Well, shit.

     Those of you who have actually seen my glasses are probably still rolling on the floor laughing at the thought of me venturing outside of my room in them (shut up!).  I have been mocked many many times by friends donning these thick-rimmed atrocities (is each individual lens a glass?  should this be plural?) and claiming to be Melissa.  To those of you who have never seen them...I'll just say that I got them for $12 at Costco when I was 12 with the belief that I would only wear them for the two seconds in the morning before I got the contacts in.

     Also, there's the tiny problem that I don't have them as they are still in D.C.  Maybe the D.C. friends are wandering around the house pretending to be Melissa.  I would be.

    Last, there is the fact that they have not been changed since I was 12 and therefore, I am blind even with them on.  No.  I could not be teaching my kids wearing dopey, thick glasses that would not actually help me see more than one foot in front of me and that are in D.C. 

The answer?  Lenscrafters' 30-day guarantee.  The mommy purchased the cheapest pair of glasses possible with my prescription and they will be returned right after my surgery since (cross your fingers) I won't be needing them ever again after that.  The glasses are actually pretty nice!  Anything is an improvement, and while I haven't actually seen them on (no mirror in my room), I have modeled them on Bookworm (who came in another package from Jamie) for you.  If you want to see me with them on...you'll just have to wait for it...

Woah.  Long post.  Shouldn't I be teaching?

Actually, I just tried posting the pictures but they wouldn't go through...maybe later?
    

Smorgasboard.

Is it incredibly nerdy that I really wish I could play this game?
 
Ya, I thought so.
 
Another day of teaching -- except...not really teaching.  Today I spent my time observing other teachers or in class myself.  This is actually how I'm going to spend this entire week.  With the way that the whole system is set up, it is going to work out that I'm not teaching in front of my kids again until next Monday...the last week of school.  Go figure. 
 
In other news, Jamie reported to me that Kevin (one of his "little" brothers) saved their home from certain doom today.  Apparently a fire at a neighboring house set their hill on fire and Kevin got out there with a hose in time to save their house from the approaching flames before the fire department (or Jamie) got there.  Not bad for a 14 year-old.
 
Happy to report that the house and the family are safe and that the fire is mostly out.  Also, no homes except for the original were badly burned.  Hooray for heroics!

Rodent-Friendly.

I'm going to play around with fonts.  Because I'm that bored right now.  Look, I can even do colors.  What larks.
 
I have decided that more of my friends need to keep blogs.  Not because I want all of my friends to be huge nerds, but more because I want to know what is going on in their lives.  Yes, I have heard of the invention known as the "telephone" and even the new "email" phenomena.  The thing is...I have always been horrible at keeping in touch with people...even people that I love.  If you are ever so inspired to keep me updated and entertained Blogger is a short click away.
 
Anyway, yesterday a girl in the adjacent room found a mouse.  I have never been one to understand the fear of mice: they are little and skittish and really very cute.  I can understand the fear of rats as they are more aggressive and might actually bite you if they feel threatened...but mice?  Harmless.
 
Apparently I'm the only person on my floor that feels this way, so while I crawled around the floor looking for this mouse to let it go, everyone else perched on chairs in the hallway.  Sadly, I never found the mouse and can only hope that it found its way out to a more hospitable environment.
 
Speaking of which: there are the weirdest squirrels here.  I'm not sure if I've actually mentioned them yet -- I'm much too lazy to fact check my old posts -- but I swear that they are crossed with rats.  They are black and have very thin tails...in fact I would say that they were rats, except for the fact that they are everywhere and they don't seem to be nocturnal.  There is one rat-squirrel in particular that lives right outside my dorm who is completely black but has a red tail.  It's very bizarre.  So bizarre that I aim to have it photographed and posted by the end of the week.  I don't care if people sitting outside the dorm smoking cigarettes think I'm that crazy lady taking pictures of wild rodents.
 
Is the rat-squirrel a native species of New York?

School Year's Resolution.

When I was young, I was given a book called The A+ Guide to Getting Good Grades or something along those lines.  Every year, before school started, I would get really psyched up and read this book.  That year would be the year that I would really pull my shit together and become a well-organized student with incredible work habits and time management skills.  I would always keep this up until the third or fourth day…but would rarely make it past the first week.
 
When I went to Williams, I took the book with me.  It sat on my shelf unread for all four years.  When it came time to pack up my room after graduation…I made sure that it found its way to a box that would not be discarded.  Something has been keeping me from throwing its out-dated ass away. 
 
Maybe I’ll read it just one more time before I start teaching in the fall...After all, as a teacher, I will have no excuse to not be organized.  Maybe I’ll be able to keep it up for two weeks this year.

Ask Me What I Make.

Let the countdown begin.  I have passed the halfway mark of my time here in New York.  It’s strange how time moves while I’m here.  Each day seems so very long, but the weeks go by incredibly quickly.  I have no idea if that makes any sense, but it’s exactly how it feels.  Melvin, one of my students, always says: “Ms. Umezaki! That problem (or reading) is easy and hard at the same time!  I don't know if I can do it.”  He then goes on to tackle the problem (or reading).
 
I wish that I could say the same about my approach to this whole thing – instead, I’m sort of running out of steam.  I think that my loss of momentum has more to do with the fact that I’m not really going to be teaching all that much next week and because I know that I won’t have the same students in my classroom come Monday. 
 
Still, I think that I'm doing much better emotionally-wise than many of my colleagues.  This is measured only by the fact that I have yet to cry because of my kids (I'm not counting the tears of joy when I first realized that I was officially a teacher, nor am I counting the tears of bittersweetness when I saw my kids leaving room 401 for the last time).  I have definitely seen people bawling uncontrollably in hallways, elevators, bathrooms, on the phone, in the lunchline, at a student's desk, and once in the middle of a class (that was bad news). 
 
Maybe the only reason I've managed to get by without any type of breakdown is because I haven't had a 2nd grader tell me to "Fuck off or [I'll] punch your momma in the babymaker" yet.  Time will tell.  But, as inspiration to those who have cried in the bathroom after a horrendous class, I offer this poem by Taylor Mali  called What Teachers Make, or You Can Always Go To Law School If Things Don't Work Out (this is supposed to be spoken word...use your imagination):

He says the problem with teachers is, "What's a
kid going to learn from someone who decided his
best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminds the other dinner guests that it's true
what they say about teachers:
Those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

I decide to bite my tongue instead of his and
resist the temptation to remind the dinner guests
that it's also true what they say about lawyers.

Because we're eating, after all, and this is polite company.

"I mean, you're a teacher, Taylor," he says."Be honest. What do you make?"

And I wish he hadn't done that
(asked me to be honest)
because, you see, I have a policy
about honesty and ass-kicking:
if you ask for it, I have to let you have it.

You want to know what I make?
 
I make kids work harder than they ever thought
they could.
I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional medal
of honor
and an A- feel like a slap in the face.
How dare you waste my time with anything less than your very best.

I make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall
in absolute silence. No, you may not work in
groups.
No, you may not ask a question.
Why won't I let you get a drink of water?
Because you're not thirsty, you're bored, that's why.

I make parents tremble in fear when I call home:
I hope I haven't called at a bad time,
I just wanted to talk to you about something Billy
said today.
Billy said, "Leave the kid alone. I still cry
sometimes, don't you?"
And it was the noblest act of courage I have ever seen.

I make parents see their children for who they are
and what they can be.

You want to know what I make?

I make kids wonder,
I make them question.
I make them criticize.
I make them apologize and mean it.
I make them write.
I make them read, read, read.
I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful over and over and over again until they will never misspell either one of those words again.
I make them show all their work in math.
And hide it on their final drafts in English.
I make them understand that if you got this (brains)
then you follow this (heart)
and if someone ever tries to judge you
by what you make, you give them this (the finger).

Let me break it down for you, so you know what I say is true:
I make a goddamn difference!
What about you?

Bah!

Another little rant about the school at which I work: today, as my students were leaving the classroom, the faculty advisor came into the room and announced that most of them would be leaving our class on Monday.  While she couldn’t say which of my students would be leaving, she wanted all of them to be prepared to leave.
 
This sucks.
 
This sucks because we have developed a rapport with our kids and have definitely found the best way to work with them towards making significant gains in their learning.  It sucks because I can see Roberto getting excited in the classroom and working hard on his assessments.  It sucks because for the first time today, I had a conversation with Fernelys with him talking in English and me talking in Spanish and both of us laughing at how funny we must have sounded to everyone else.  I love my kids.  I love hearing them call me Ms. Umezaki and watching them get excited to do division problems.  I am guessing that the changes will be to either make our class entirely English as a Second Language learners, or to make it entirely English speakers.  This would have been great during the first week…but now that we are halfway through our curriculum…it sucks.
 
While I had not shed a tear in the school thus far, I was very very close when Roberto hugged me goodbye and when I saw Fernelys wave goodbye to me with tears in his eyes.  Also, for the first time, one of my kids came up to me and told me that I was a good teacher – this was unexpected and almost started the waterworks as well.  Today was a rough day.
 
I had my meeting with my advisor today to talk about my progress.  It was the kind of deal where I had to grade myself.  I hate grading myself.  Luckily, my advisor spared my ego and wasn’t as harsh on me as I was.  In fact, he really surprised me with his review since I thought he actually hated me.  Not to say that I don’t need to improve at all – I have a long way to go before I can be where I want to be – but it was nice to know that from an outsider’s perspective, I wasn’t a complete wreck in the classroom.
 
Let’s see how I do with a new crop of kids…

Teaching Update.

Yesterday at school was sort of a disaster. The math lesson was pretty boring. It turns out that I’m really boring. While I can keep most of my students in check – despite their utter boredom – I can’t help but see their utter boredom staring me in the face. My ESL (English as a Second Language) kids just tune out whenever they hear one word of English pass my lips, and the others are staring at me blankly. I have no idea if they are actually getting it.

In addition, Wendy Kopp – the founder of TFA – was observing at our school yesterday. Apparently our school had been the model school for New York Institute. The classes had been running smoothly and everyone had rave reviews about what they saw in the classrooms. Everything went to shit on Monday though: the school surprised us by requiring us to administer some more diagnostic exams, so all of our lesson plans for the day were scrapped (save, of course, my boring math lesson) in lieu of some test time. So, the kids were bored and this is what Wendy saw.

Suffice to say, our review was: “These kids are bored. Be more engaging.” We got yelled at a bunch. There was definitely one advisor who said: “You guys think you’re hot shit coming from Harvard or Yale…but you need to leave your egos at the door.” I was appalled. This truly is teacher’s boot camp and there is little respect for us scrubs when are in large groups. I should note that when we are in smaller groups with our particular advisor there is much respect and love.

Today was better. My kids are still pretty great, although I did have to make a phone call to a parent today. Scary. What is the most scary is the sneaking feeling that these kids are not learning anything right now. While we still struggle to gain our footing and adjust to life at the institute, these kids are struggling to pass to the fifth grade. While it may “suck” how inefficient the teaching rotation we are using right now is for us (teaching in a group of five and having to rotate subject matter each day – this isn’t the norm, I’m in one of the only 5-person collaboratives at my school), it SUCKS that these kids are the ones who have to pay for it. The only times I feel satisfied with myself as a teacher and that I feel like my kids are actually making academic gains is when we work in the smaller learning groups for an hour at the end of the day. Unfortunately, I am only working with three kids at a time…baby steps…I guess.

Rereading this I realize that I’m coming off as extremely negative on TFA. That is not intended. In reality, TFA has to juggle relations and communications with so many parties that it’s amazing that anything gets done at all. There is so much planning and coordination involved in a single day – from our bagged lunches, to the bus ride we take to the schools, and of course the fact that they can actually place 500+ non-experienced teachers in classrooms throughout the Bronx…kudos must be given.

...Or Maybe A Troll?

It's Decemberween!

Sweet.

(Update on the day to follow -- must nap).

Melissa + Math = Failure.

Tomorrow I will be teaching my very first math lesson ever. Eeeeeeeeeeek! What frigtens me more than teaching math, is the idea that people are actually trusting me to teach their children math. Tomorrow will be the true test of my ability.

Does anybody realize how hard it is to teach simple arithmetic? Science I can do. English, I can usually do. Math?? No. And I realized today that it's not just me (although I admit I am a math moron). It is just hard to explain. I had to call upon the math genius that is Jamie. And when that didn't really work, I had to call upon the math legend, my brother (winner of several "Math Counts!" awards, mind you). Apparently, the magic word was "placeholder". To my credit, I knew that it was because of the place value. I just didn't know the correct term.

For serious.

Blacklist Update.

My hand inexplicably smells like coffee right now. It is as if my hand had been placed in a vat of it while I slept and marinated all night. This is odd because: (a) I haven’t had coffee for a couple of days and it wouldn’t make senses for my hands to smell like coffee, (b) I have washed my hands many many times since I noticed the coffee smell and it still won’t go away and (c) I did eat tuna today and one would think that if my hands were to smell like anything, it would be tuna.

This bothers me because it means that I must have unwittingly stuck my hand in someone else’s spilled coffee…which is gross. Speaking of which…the other day, I was standing next to some girl bussing her tray when she dropped her glass of orange juice. Since it was mostly empty, it did this spectacular spin move all the way to the ground, splashing its contents all over my white skirt. I helped the girl pick up her cup and clean up the floor. Bitch didn’t even say “thank you” or “sorry about the skirt”. She goes on my blacklist.

So does the drinker of whoever’s coffee is on my hand.

So does my roommate who is randomly yelling out lines from random hip hop songs. What’s the point of wearing headphones if you’re going to scream out every. word. of. the. song. DELETED.

This School is Brought to You By 3M.

First week of teaching is over. Overall an enjoyable experience and I already have plenty of “kids-say-the-darndest-things” stories. One big thing I noticed:

There has been a revolution in elementary schools since I was a student. It is of the paper variety. Post-Its have taken over our public school system. Did you know that in New York, it is against school policy for a teacher to mark up a student’s paper? Meaning, it is grounds for dismissal if I were to put checkmarks or revision suggestions directly on a child’s homework or essay. Apparently, it transfers ownership away from the student and demeans their work. Therefore, all teachers must use post-its to grade homework and papers. I have a problem with this for a number of reasons:

1. It’s wasteful. While I like post-its (especially when they have fun colors), I have never really gotten used to using them since they. are. so. wasteful. You write a couple words on it and then stick it to something expecting that in the not-so-distant future they will be thrown away.

2. It’s ineffective. How can I circle a particular word or a step in a math problem with stickies? “You may want to check the spelling of your third use of the word ‘impashunt’.”

3. A post-it smiley face or “Super!”???

4. Post-Its FALL OFF. Especially when they are crammed into a messy elementary student’s desk.

5. Ownership smonership. I would eat my hat if a kid ever said: “By marking my paper, the teacher has taken away my ownership of my paper. Learning is dead to me now.”

6. Teachers have a small enough budget to work with…Post-Its should at the very least be provided to us (they’re not).

I smell a conspiracy here. All I can hope is that Baltimore is not quite as strange.

Late Night Ramble.

I love my children and I want so much for them to succeed, but right now, I’m definitely not giving them what they deserve.

Roberto doesn’t understand a word of English. I sit him in the front so that maybe he will pay close attention to the hand gestures and facial expressions that I make just for him. Instead he just stares at me with a confused face and every once in a while will pound his head frustrated, as if he is trying to tell his brain to wake up. The thing is, his brain is awake and he is so brilliant. He excels in math – far beyond his classmates and begs for more difficult problems. Once I translate the words to him in Spanish, he can write up an elaborate story for me about a purple monster living in a lake. He deserves more.

Francisco talks a mile a minute and somehow always knows the right answer. But I worry so much about him being bored. He deserves more too.

And then there is Jarolis who needs special attention for her violent outbursts. When I gave her a time out and a reflection sheet for slapping Laquisha in the face I could actually feel her cussing me out when my back was turned. But when I noticed her working diligently on her writing assignment, I couldn’t get to her in time to praise her, and she crumpled it up and threw it at Elvis.

Oh Elvis. Who acts like such a gentleman and opens the door for me and will attempt (most students don’t) to speak English. But when I come back into the room after my teaching session is over I see that he is on the red consequence. Apparently he is a nightmare in the afternoon.

All my kids deserve so much more than I am giving them right now. I worry that I won’t be able to get my act together by the time the summer is over…

Today I cried...

...but not for the reasons you think. I actually had an amazing day. The kids are amazing -- while they're definitely not angels and there are definitely going to be challenges -- I know that we will reach our goals. I think a big part of the reason that we could easily manage our class today was because it was the first day of school and the students were pretty timid. I expect that to change very soon...probably tomorrow.

But for now...I will bask in the greatness that was today. Things did go wrong: when we got to our classroom this morning we found out that they had ripped out the floors and removed all the furniture over the weekend to get rid of some asbestos contamination. This shifted us to the fifth floor of the school which aside from being up too many flights of stairs for someone with a sprained ankle and heels, was also not air-conditioned. After moving all our stuff and setting up our room (again) we realized we had two minutes to prepare and relax before we had to pick up our students.

The school processing was extremely inefficient and we did not have (nor do we have yet) a roster of the students in our class. It took a long long time to get everyone to their classrooms...and by the time we got there we had already completely missed an entire period that was supposed to be devoted to rules and procedures.

There are also two students who do not understand a word of English and could therefore, not write a single word either. This will be a huge challenge as they will be required to take and pass a state test that will only be administered in English...eep. We also have six or seven other kids who rely heavily on Spanish translations but can get by with just English. And then of course we have those who don't know any Spanish at all -- who knows why they are in a bilingual classroom.

We have a couple "behaviorally-challenged" students in our class (or so the school reports) which will make this summer more interesting. Luckily, I mastered my teacher face (read: the I-am-not-amused-at-your-attention-getting-antics) and so far it's working well enough. I did realize that I need to learn how to snap my fingers loudly. I feel like the "snap-and-point" is the ultimate teacher move.

Anyway, I did cry today. But it was when I got back to the University and I saw that all the staff had put together a big party for us to celebrate our official first day as teachers. [sniffle]. We made it.

First Day Jitters.

Tomorrow is the day that I start teaching. I’m pretty excited; it seems as though these past few weeks have all been building up to this moment and I’m just raring to go. I can’t wait to get in front of those 20+ students and help them learn how to write a research paper and how to divide four digit numbers.

Another part of me is dreading the part of tomorrow where I get my ass kicked and my spirit crushed. I have been assured by many people that by the end of the week I will have cried at least once (not that I didn’t know that). People are already dropping like flies around here. I think Baltimore is the only regional corps so far that hasn’t taken any hits. Today we found out that some girl in the D.C. corps packed up her things on Friday and never came back. When she didn’t show up in class the office contacted her and found that she had quit…without telling anyone.

I’m writing it down here for all posterity: I’m committed to TFA. BRING IT.

Yes, There are A Lot of Japanese People in Peru.

When I was speaking on the phone with Jamie last night, I had an epiphany: not everyone has to answer questions about their race everyday.

Growing up in L.A. I never really felt like a minority. In fact, I would always forget that I wasn’t white. Have I mentioned this in a post before? I feel like I have. Anyway, so yesterday, while I was speaking to Jamie, it occurred to me that no one EVER asks him about his background. Me, on the other hand, get questioned at least once a day if I’m in a new environment (where I’m likely to bump into someone who I’ve never met before and hasn’t already asked me the question).

My visit to the emergency room the other day? I got asked thirty times at the very least: people in the waiting room, nurses registering me, doctors, custodians, guy vomiting on the floor, you name it. I never really thought twice about it before, but when the x-ray guy asked me “what’s your background??” I assumed that he meant my medical background or maybe something related to x-rays. “No, I mean your race.”

Would it be rude for me to ask for his “background” as well? I feel like it’s a personal question because in order to explain it I have to talk about my parents and my grandparents. Talk about growing up in Los Angeles, etc. All I know is, if I went up to some random person on the street (or in a hospital waiting room) and asked them for their background it would be a little strange.

I wonder if my brother has to deal with the same questions. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t really mind it…up until yesterday, I didn’t even notice it. I just think it’s interesting.

P.S. Happy Birthday America.

And now for something completely different.

At what point do we stop being children and become teachers. I am well aware of the never-ending role of “student”, but there must be some point at which we cease being children.

Tonight, at dinner, a bunch of my TFA friends and I were sitting around and laughing about one immature thing or another. We were talking about ex-boyfriends and curfews and random drunken antics and it hit me – Ms. Lynch and Mrs. Corliss definitely did NOT go clubbing or master the fine art of beer pong. There is no way that Ms. Sachs still had a curfew when she started teaching. And if Ms. Johnson ever terrorized a dining hall completely drunk than I would eat my hat.

So why are we going to be teachers?

Yesterday we took a test. It was self-corrected and while we were correcting it I realized that the act of grading our own paper was sort of practice for all of the papers we would soon have to grade. Then I heard something horrific: after each answer was read the soft hiss of “yessssssssssssss” bubbled up throughout the room. Later, as some people got more bold, words like “yup” and “wahoo!” started coming out as well. Nothing bothers me more than people who publicly congratulate themselves on easy self-assessed tests. We get it: you’re smart. So is everyone else in the room or they wouldn’t be here. Some people would argue with the administrator of the test (“what if I said…?”) and others grew annoyed at the stupidity of the rubric and complained about their wrong answers (“I knew that! The question was just confusing!). People, this test was to see what we needed to review. Anything of any academic importance will not be self-assessed.

The teachers of tomorrow, the 3rd graders of today.

...And Then the Day Got Worse.

I just got back from the emergency room. I was forced to go there -- despite the slight (teensy-tiny, even) chance that I had actually broken my ankle rather than just sprained it. I got there at 9pm and it is now almost 5am. That would be a grand total of almost eight hours sitting in a sad little waiting room to find out that my ankle. is. sprained.

Somebody whose name begins with "J" and ends with "amie" is on my blacklist right now for forcing me to go. To make matters worse, I got back and found that no love had been sent to me via the comment option. No one loves me or reads my blog anymore. Sniffle.

I must sleep.

Melissa and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Bad Day.

(This is the view from my window).

Things aren't going my way.

7am -- good start to the day, since we normally have to get up at 5am to catch the bus. Today, our classes don't start 'til 9am. Get ready at a leisurely pace since breakfast doesn't end 'til 9am. Decide to stroll over at 8:30 and just pick up a bagel and some coffee. On my way there, I find out that they are already closed...no biggie since I normally don't have breakfast anyway.

9am -- find out that we were supposed to pick up bagged lunches and that the cafeteria is not an option. Lunch pick-up ended at 8:15am. Crap.

10-12pm -- watch hungrily on as people snack on and eat their bagged lunches.

12pm -- find out that New York state has no record of the results of my TB test which were supposed to be faxed over from Baltimore last Monday. Without the test results I am not allowed to teach on Tuesday.

12:15pm -- find out that the Baltimore office will be closed until Tuesday.

1pm -- find out that all of my hard work (including, but not limited to, lots and lots of room decorations, management plans, lesson plans, a student achievement plan for the WHOLE SUMMER) was in vain because my collaborative group was going to be dissolved to meet the demands of the school.

1:15pm -- found out that not only was my collaborative group dissolved, but I was the only person in the whole school to be switched to a completely different Advisor group. New advisor + new people who have been bonding with each other for the past week = Melissa as a total outsider.

1:30pm -- learn that my new class will be bilingual. Caramba!

2pm -- new collaborative group seems really nice, but are also going away for the weekend. Meaning, they don't have the time to sit down with me and go over their game plan, nor do I have ANY input on what my summer class is going to be like.

2:15pm -- sprain ankle in front of 100 people. Seriously -- we were just getting out of an assembly and I was in front of the entire group.

3pm -- because of said sprained ankle I miss out on Dee's birthday party. Also, everyone's going dancing tonight. Cry!

6:30pm -- on way back from dinner it starts to pour. While everyone else can run for shelter, I'm caught hobbling through the rain...in flip-flops.

6:36pm -- slip on flip-flops in rain. Twist knee...am now hobbling on two messed up legs.

Also, as a forecast of bad days to come, I'm going to have to wear three inch heels on Tuesday -- with my messed up ankle -- as I do not have any other school-appropriate shoes.

Please end this day by shooting me in the head.

No Probalo.

I've taken some hits for my last post. People seem to be scared that my roommate will someday read my blog and be offended. Trust me, I thought about this, and I figured that it was a risk I was willing to take. After all, it's not like she would find my site on google.

Then Abby tells me that apparently you can find it. Being the teacher in training that I am, I propose that we do a little experiment. If you're reading this, open a new window and do a google search for my webpage. Feel free to use any keywords you like. Post a comment with your results.

Apparently, if when Abby types "Umezakisauce" she finds me. Oddly, when I type the same thing, I don't. Maybe it's a conspiracy.

No Sleep 'Til Baltimore.

DISCLAIMER: the writer of this blog entry has never had a roommate before in her life -- excluding one Mr. James Long (whom she adores as a human being) -- and as a result is much more sensitive than the average schmo to the presence of a human being within sleeping quarters.

I like my roommate. She's funny and smart. Don't get me wrong I like her a lot, but there are some things that I just don't understand. Like the big, clangy, silver bracelets she wears to bed. While I have been known to fall asleep with my watch on every once in a while, I don't think I could possibly fall asleep with BIG, CLANGY, bracelets on. She's of the type that moves around in her bed a lot so those things are clangy all night.

Also, she gets especially flatulent in her sleep. This makes me wonder: am I flatulent when I sleep? Is she flatulent all day but especially adept at hiding the noise when she is conscious? Between the clangs and the farts I have a hard time sleeping over here...

Bed in the P.M.

You guys: this is a huge day for me. Today, I am going to bed before midnight: my first step towards regulating my sleep schedule to be more like a normal person's. Actually, my first step was actually probably the waking up at 5:30am every morning. Normal people don't go to 10 hours of work in a row after four hours of sleep.

Teach For America is slowly eating away at my soul. These are long-ass days. However, I know that the moment I see my kids for the first time, they will regenerate said soul. They will also probably drain me.

I can't wait.

Today, I completed my Student Acheivement Plan for the whole summer. What that means in non-TFA terms is that I completed a detailed plan for all of my lessons for the next five weeks -- the duration of summer institute. This plan includes all the objectives and goals that we have for my 4th graders in Math, Writing, and Reading. I feel like such the teacher right now...it'll pass.

Teach Well. Be More.

Today was the first official day of institute. I will be teaching fourth grade at P.S. 53 in the Bronx for the next five weeks. The school itself is pretty nice, except for the fact that it doesn't have air conditioning...in New York...during the summer. It's a huge elementary school -- with a school size that rivals Williams' at 1600+. While I haven't actually met my students yet (that doesn't come until next week), I think I will have about twenty under my care.

We just got out of the Teach For America Welcoming Ceremonies which was pretty great at pumping me up for my future in education. We got to hear from Wendy Kopp, the founder and president of TFA, and also a bunch of TFA alum. The alum were reading excerpts from their diaries, and one of them was actually someone that I had seen in the CNN documentary on TFA. It was great to see her because I was especially interested in how her experience would turn out -- she was the one who struggled the most in the documentary and definitely seemed as though she wouldn't make it.

Turns out she did. And she achieved some pretty incredible gains. It gave me hope to know that regardless of how hard things may seem...one can always recover and then excel.

One of the alum from Baltimore had a pretty great experience. He spoke specifically about one of his students who made it through his class, who won a prestigious award for academic excellence in Baltimore and got a free ride to U of Maryland (and a pretty hefty scholarship at Johns Hopkins). What was especially great was that she spoke to us afterwards as a TFA Operations Coordinator...Needless to say there were a lot of standing ovations tonight.

Tonight, I am so proud and excited to be a part of this incredible movement as part of the B-more 2004 corps.

Reality.

I'm not sure about the protocol for these kinds of things, but I figured since this is supposed to be like a journal I should be able to write about whatever is on my mind.

A Williams classmate of mine passed away after getting into a bike accident last Friday and I just found out about it. While Bob and I were not very close, we had the type of relationship where we would catch up with one another whenever we passed by each other or where we could drunkenly hug and laugh at how drunk the other (usually him) was. He was a fellow "Japanese Mutt" and despite the fact that he looked totally white (with the blond hair and blue eyes), he would still get the asian flush.

At Mt. Hope last month we were dancing together and assured each other that we would see each other at Homecoming. It hurts when reality decides to smash you in the face. And it gets harder when you realize that there are others for whom the pain is infinitely greater -- his family, his childhood friends, all those who's lives he had touched...and then you think of all those lives he will never get to touch now that he is gone.

While I may not have known Bob as well as most, I do know that he was a great guy who managed to get his frosh back safely to Williams after having the school van stolen in Montreal and qualified as one of the most laidback and easy-going guys I knew. As cliched as it sounds, my thoughts are with his family tonight.

And I have to admit -- I'm also thinking about my family and friends tonight...

Some Things Are Better Left Unexplored.

Despite the fact that I started my travels after graduation with two nearly full tubes of toothpaste, I now have zero. I am one of those people who usually forgets to check the bathroom for strays when leaving a hotel or pit stop.

This is important because I just brushed my teeth with borrowed toothpaste. Unfortunately, I asked the wrong person because she was using citrus-flavored toothpaste. The idea of citrus flavored toothpaste is FOUL. Actually using citrus flavored toothpaste is UNBEARABLE. Is it rude to turn down someone's toothpaste after you asked for it?

Now I feel like I have to brush my teeth again to get this disgusting citrus taste out of my mouth.

Urban Chic.

After many false starts, I finally made it out to Manhattan to see Jess. I managed to navigate my way through the Bronx and to the metro station and my first trip on the subway (or at least the one that I can recall) was a success. True, I managed to convince five big men to accompany me through the streets of the Bronx as we tried to find the subway station. True, I wielded a giant map and looked especially touristy while trying to figure out the metro system. And true, Jess was waiting for me on the other side, but I'm still proud.

Anyway, I got to see Manhattan. Jess and I ate some yummy food at an Indian restaurant on the Upper West Side. Then we went walking towards the Lincoln Center where they were having an outdoor, latin music concert.


Latin Music at Lincoln Center.

I also learned that even Manhattan has its own form of the Williams Beer Pen:

Jess at the concert. Everyone else is in the beer pen.

Last, I finally got to see where Jess lived. Not only was I allowed to observe the creative goodness that is taped to the kitchen wall (a collection of comic strips done by the sisters Au), but I was also able to see Jess' room.


As you can see: Jess is a sooper star.

All in all, I'm glad I finally made it out to Manhattan, although I now realize that the smarter thing to have done would have been to packed a bag and sleep over. Oh well...maybe sometime soon we can have a slumber partay.

Finally.

Finally have a free moment before heading out to Manhattan so that I may actually attempt to catch my blog up. I can now promise that I will update more regularly...I didn't have internet at the hotel in Baltimore. I am so dependent on the internet that it's sick. Seriously.

Induction.
I got to Baltimore on Monday after leaving Williamstown bright and early. Okay, maybe not so bright and early...closer to 9 than to 6 like I had planned. I also got lost (again) and after spending so much time tweaking MapQuest directions to make sure that they didn't take me through New York city (AGAIN), I found myself in New York City. During rush hour. Suffice to say, I got to Baltimore a wee bit later than I had intended.

Like I mentioned before, I listened to Life of Pi on CD this time. It was interesting, although not quite as good mindless driving material as Dave Sedaris. I didn't get to finish the book, and now I won't really have the opportunity until after July. The book was 11.5 hours long...I'm only on disc 4.

The actual induction was pretty good. At times, it seemed pretty disorganized, but the staff has a really hard job to do and we ended up getting through it all relatively painlessly. I love the other members of the corps. Everyone's great and happy to be here. Induction gave us some time to get to know each other and to basically bond as a corps before heading off to institute and joining up with New York, Miami, New Jersey, and D.C. corps. Baltimore is actually the smallest of the corps -- they accepted next to nobody at the second deadline -- with only 57 people. Compare this with New York that has over 350. I think this is a positive because now I know everyone in my corps, while people in the New York corps come up to me thinking that I'm in their region.

I'm loving Baltimore. Everything about it seems to be right up my alley -- rent is cheap, living is cheap, there's green stuff, but there are also some things to do at night. It's also so close to D.C. that I really can't complain. Did I mention that I'm officially on the Baltimore City School System's official payroll? Meaning, that regardless of what I teach (or if I teach at all at the beginning of the year), I will be getting a paycheck?? I officially am employed! By the time I finish my commitment in under two years, I'll be making closer to $43,000. Not too shabby.

Institute.
We got to New York yesterday evening. Not much exciting has happened since my last post...I'm all registered and ready to go. I'm meeting up with Jess later today -- which will provide some eye candy in a later post. Also, I got to see my wonderful Anne Louise who is working at institute this summer. I felt all special when she came over and gave me some lovin'. Be warned that there will be much more to report on Institute in the near future.

Adventure.
So I have an adventure to report. On Tuesday evening, I attempted to go drop some stuff off at a storage place. After dropping off my friends at the hotel, I ventured off to east Baltimore to get it done before our dinner meeting. I got kind of lost, but eventually found it. As I turned a corner, I hit a massive pothole and not one, but TWO of my tires blew out. I should tell you that my storage place is in a notoriously bad area of Baltimore. I was more than a little frightened.

The first thing I did was call AAA -- but found that I was no longer a member. Shit. I then called the parents, who assured me that I was still a member. Called back AAA and they assured me that I wasn't. It was eventually determined that I actually wasn't insured. It was at this point that the guy sleeping on the street by my dead car woke up came over and assessed that I had two flat tires and should call AAA. I then called Jamie and freaked out at him.

It was at this point that I realized that I should stop calling people since I was quickly using up my battery (AAA had put me on hold for a good long time in order to determine that I wasn't covered. I ventured into the storage place to ask for some yellow pages and call a towing company. Several phone calls later it was determined that everyone was either too far away, to busy, or very closed. I needed to have my car towed since I had TWO flat tires and only had one spare tire and could therefore NOT simply just change the tire. Not only that, but I needed to have it flat-bed towed.

Eventually I just renewed my AAA membership and they agreed to send over a tow truck and promised to take me to the nearest tire center. All good, except I realized that at this point it was past six and most tire centers would be closed. This proved to be true and eventually was able to find one place that would stay open until 8:30pm. Unfortunately it was over 20 miles away. That's expensive. Never mind, it was getting dark and I was still in a bad bad neighborhood -- I would take anything. Except that the tow truck showed up an hour late and eventually too late for the 8:30 place. Things were sucking.

I have to say that things could have sucked even more, except for the fact that everyone in Baltimore is incredibly nice. Random people walking by would stop to offer help or advice. Strangely enough, while all sorts of people were stopping by to offer their services, the police which went by frequently (I was across the street from the county jail) never once stopped to see what was wrong. I owe my life to the guy who ran the storage place (who incidentally, remembered my name on first seeing me despite the fact that I had seen him for about two minutes when I rented out the unit a month earlier). He let me move my car into his gated parking lot after hours and gave me the code to the gate so that I could exit later. He stayed after hours, and gave me his cell phone number if I needed anything. He checked up on me all the time from his apartment (across the street) and would wave at me from the window to make sure that I was okay. He called towing places for me and when the towing guy eventually did come, he spoke to the towing guy to make sure that he was legit. He told him to take good care of me and offered to drive me home after I had towed my car, and he wouldn't even take my money when I tried to give it to him.

The towing guy was great too. When he realized that we wouldn't make it to the tire place in time, he made a few phone calls and found a place that was open 24 hours and much closer. He also offered me some tips about good places to go dancing. The tire guy was really nice and we found out that his children are enrolled at one of the schools that I might be teaching at this fall.

So, while this could have been an awful experience, it actually gave me a chance to see what life is like and to talk to people in the parts of Baltimore that I might not have gone to otherwise...but I'm going to say for the record that blowing out TWO tires at once, blows.

Apartments.
Still don't know what's going on on that front. Jamie and I were about to sign the lease on our place in Greenbelt, but some recent complications arose on that same day so now it's on hold. But, I did find a great place in Baltimore (if the Jamie thing doesn't work out) that would cost $350 a month, is located in Charles Village (right by Johns Hopkins Homewood campus) with a parking space, and hardwood floors, and all sorts of other goodness. Man, I really like Baltimore.

Miscellany.
A friend of mine is taking on an interesting endeavor. I don't know how I feel about it -- I think it may be a little too thinly-veiled. But, funny and interesting nonetheless.

It's a Helluva Town.

Finally made it to my pseudo-final destination for the summer: the Bronx. Yes, I'm at TFA's Summer Institute. No, we haven't actually started training...but last week I did have the Baltimore corps induction. It was pretty good to get to know my fellow corps members and its definitely a really great group of people. Everyone is really enthusiastic and pumped to be in TFA and we all can feed off of each other.

Many adventures to share of the past week when I was incognito. But also, more adventures in the Bronx -- I get to see Jess tomorrow!

Stay tuned.

F Minus.

I thought it was a little strange when I stopped getting emails from TFA all of the sudden. Especially when they had been promising weekly emails with vital information. So I wrote them a week ago...nothing. Wrote them again last night...and it turns out that they had sent out four emails since then, that I had not been getting because of the great email overhaul at Williams.

Normally this would just be an inconvenience, but it turns out that I had to fill out and turn in an application, send vital information, my test scores, an itinerary, and various other time-sensitive things. So in a mad rush, I wrote a really bad application essay and filled out an application for a teaching position. Boo. ALSO, I didn't receive the detailed institute packet -- this was supposed to come via regular mail -- because they didn't send it until AFTER I graduated (when they had previously assured us that it was coming in May) and for some reason it hasn't gotten to my permanent address. Not that I would be able to get it since I haven't gone home and my parents are following their trip out to my graduation with back-to-back trips to Las Vegas and Peru. Bad planning.

I'm a little miffed at TFA for not changing my email address after I had emailed and phoned them about it...THREE times. [Fumes].

Dean's List Drop-Out.

View of the doomed Baxter from atop Thompson Chapel (courtesy of Drew Newman who took the picture during the watch drop part of Ivy Exercises).

I wish I could report that my life is exciting right now...but it isn't. I've been sitting in Hardy House all day and the most exciting part of it was this morning when I got coffee. Seriously.

Actually that's not true. It was when I stuffed lots and lots of completed spreads into big FedEx envelopes to ship to the plant. Yes my friends...the time has come for me to actually turn stuff in. The entire senior section is complete. As is the opening. This book may actually get done. Never has putting little checkmarks in boxes been so satisfying.

I also completed my application for Johns Hopkins' MAT program...except for one minor detail: my resume. Now, I have a resume that I have been using for pretty much everything so I didn't put much thought into preparing my application. Then I realized that my GPA info wasn't up-to-date. No problem, I'll just log into telnet and check my final grades. But NO. I can't get into telnet anymore because I graduated.

This brings up an important issue. The last time I checked my grades, all of my professors had not yet turned in their evaluations...by graduation day, I still did not have my grades for two classes. Then they cut us off the day after graduation. I ask you, friends, how does this make sense??

So I have a dilemma. Should I guess what my final grades were and then calculate my GPA? Should I leave it off my resume? Or, should I leave my old GPA (which isn't very good) on the resume?

I opt for the second one since guessing might get me into trouble. Also, I requested that the school send them my current transcript via mail so they'll have that information there. But it is conspicuous for me not to include my GPA??

They're not going to take me and I'm going to blame stupid Williams.

A Pseudo Post-Grad Crisis.

As you know I'm back at Williams for the weekend. I've been walking around campus and sort of taking in the Purple Mountains for the last time in a long while. Even though I graduated under a month ago I can't help but feel out of place here now. Whenever I bump into someone I know, the first question they usually ask is: "What are YOU doing here?" I don't belong anymore.

All I see are the young whippersnapper summer camp kids, the sophomores and juniors that were suckered into staying on campus over the summer to do research or conference office work, and the trendy film buff walking around on their cell phone. While Baxter is still here -- I had seriously been expecting to find it razed by now -- the campus feels different.

Then, I was checking my emails from a common room in Morgan MW -- my freshman dorm and where a former frosh was gracious enough to let me crash for the night -- and heard the bell toll. It was sort of like a time machine to all those nights freshman year when I had to listen to those freaking loud bells (which happened to be situated across the street from Morgan) toll every fifteen minutes. EVERY fifteen minutes...even 4:15am. And these bells are loud.

But tonight? I don't mind it so much.

Week in Review.

While I said I wouldn't do it, I'm going to do it: here's what I've been up to.

Grad Shots.
I can't believe it took me so long to get these up. Sorry, yo.


Michelle and Marina at Ivy Exercises.


Abby thinks I'm a dork.


My view of the stage and sadly...Jess was obstructed by the microphone stand. Stupid stand. I should also mention that Jess received an award for her contribution to the musical community of Williams. So proud.


The watch drop. Supposedly, a watch that breaks upon impact is good luck -- but one that survives is bad luck for the class of 2004. This year's watch hit a tree on it's way down...it may have survived. That would explain the missed plane. If you look closely, you can actually see Adam (or maybe Drew) at the top of the tower.


The one picture actually taken on Commencement Day. Here's Samir, Ari, and Abby right before the ceremonies began.

The Promised Baltimore Shots.
I like this city. I'm giving it a thumbs up.


Baltimore has ships.


Fuzzy Harbor and Baltimore City Lights.


Jamie's Graduation.
I'm such the proud friend. While I was completely embarrassed by my father scrambling to the front of the crowd to take my picture as I walked across the stage, I found myself doing the same exact thing as Jamie cross his in Minnesota. I may have pushed down a little old lady or two. But I did manage to get these shots:

Well worth it, if I do say so myself.


Jamie spots me in the crowd.


President Oden cracks a funny while Jamie receives his diploma.


Jamie in all of his Magna Cum Laude glory. Either everyone else who's name begins with "L" is incredibly short, or Jamie is on stilts.

I also got to see Jamie perform big time. While I had actually never seen Jamie sing a solo (despite 5 years of loyalty), I got to see/hear him perform three times in one day. First at a short senior recital where he sang two songs, then at a friend's recital in which he sang in a quartet, and finally at his Knights concert.


Jamie says: doo doo dooo doo dooooooooo.


Jamie and the Knights. Just so you know, they are singing a sad song...they are not usually so depressed-looking.

He was so good I cried. Seriously. A capella made me cry -- and not because it was bad!

We also got to fool around in the city a little bit (this was before he graduated and we had to roll up our sleeves to pack his room -- notice that I'm happy.)


Upon my arrival to Minnsota, Jamie and I shared a frozen yogurt. I preferred to eat the napkin.


Fro-yo joy.


Apparently, Jamie is unable to hold the camera steady while he presses the shutter button.


Me messing with shutter speed in Minneapolis. I would also like to note that immediately after I took this picture, one of the horses took a GIGANTIC leak on the sidewalk. It was incredible.

And of course, we got to spend a lot of time with his Carleton friends. While it may seem weird that I'm posting pictures of people I hardly know, I figure that about 50% (or two) of my blog readers are actually from Carleton and would enjoy seeing pictures of their friends.


Carleton grads...tuckered out. Jamie has a beet for a head.

Apartment Hunting in DC.
As previously mentioned, we did our fair share of apartment hunting. I actually just spoke to the top candidate on the phone and it turns out that there will be one apartment available for our time frame. AND, we get a teacher/student discount! Jamie and I have the bases covered. Now it's up to us taking the plunge and actually sending in our application. Eep.

But, D.C. wasn't entirely about apartment hunting and law school touring. We got to spend some quality time with Jamie's friends. Jason was gracious enough to lend us his basement and we got to touch base with some people that I hadn't seen in a long, long while. Even managed to make it to a D.C. happy hour.

We also watched the final Finals game in a bar on Capitol Hill, which is quite the experience on the East Coast. Jamie and I were two of five Laker's fans in the entire bar...trust me...we counted. Jason likened this year's finals to the presidential race: everyone was rooting for the Pistons just because they just didn't want the Lakers to win. That would make my Lakers, Dubya. I would also have to agree.

I'm really looking forward to living in D.C./Baltimore for the next two years. The apartment hunting has made me feel all grown up and Jamie and I stumbled upon an IKEA in our potential neighborhood. Seriously...I love IKEA with a passion. With. A. Passion. I think the reason I love it so much is because they make everything so simple. Plus, I am a big fan of assembling my own furniture. It makes me feel all smart and handy -- even though they make it so easy that a four-year old could do it. I still feel cool.

Knitting in Public.
I noticed that if I'm knitting at the airport people will always start a conversation with me. It's as if holding yarn and knitting needles makes me a kind and friendly person who loves to talk to strangers. While I like meeting new people, I try to stay away from striking up conversation with random people when we're in an enclosed space -- like an airplane. You have no escape if the person turns out to be a jerk or if they are annoying on a plane. So, I pretend that knitting takes up so much of my concentration that I can't possibly hold a conversation at the same time. Really, I'm not a mean person...per se.

Comments.
People should comment. I just glanced over at my counter and noticed that it was in the 2000s! I had no idea that people other than myself and Drew actually came here. Before, I chalked the hits up to my own edits and visits to the page...but I haven't been able to check the site regularly for weeks and Drewie is on his honeymoon. Who are you?? If I knew I had friends who were reading this, I would make it a point to post more often and actually try to keep it entertaining (rather than the drivel I serve now). Don't be shy!

Catch Up.

So close to having regular access to internet. Or at least I hope so. I have been on the move since graduation (mine and Jamie’s), but it’s been pretty great. After doing some serious apartment-hunting I feel all grown up. While I still don’t know exactly what we’re doing for next year as far as living situation goes, I have a pretty good idea: Jamie and I are going to live together halfway between Baltimore and DC. We found a promising apartment community…I just have to call tomorrow to make sure that they will actually have an apartment available when we need it (in August). Cross your fingers…

But rather than go on about my past week when I was MIA, I’d rather just tell you about the day that nothing went right – meaning yesterday.

Jamie and I had a lot planned for the day – complete with lots of apartment-hunting and some test commuting. In one sense, we did pretty well: we checked out some apartments, ran some errands, had lunch at and toured Georgetown Law, and met up with friends. Sadly, we forgot some key things:

(1) In our speed packing, I bypassed the room check as we left Jason’s house (Jamie had kindly stuffed all my things into a bag for me while I did some errands) and left all my jewelry, watch, glasses, and contact lens stuff. Crap.

(2) We failed to make reservations for a hotel for the night. This was crucial since Jamie was leaving for Minnesota at 6am and we wouldn’t want to wake anyone at the ungodly hour of 4am.

(3) We failed to get a travel alarm and decided to rely solely on my cell phone as an alarm for said 4am wake-up. Suffice to say, we did not wake up until 30 minutes before Jamie’s flight. CRAP.

(4) I failed to get GOOD directions back to Williamstown and didn’t notice that the directions I did have led me into New York City.

Anyway, I can report that Jamie made it safely to Minnesota and I made it safely back to Williams. I ended up turning around and winging it once I realized that I was in the middle of the Bronx. I was a little frightened at first, but then I realized (as I passed the Fordham campus) that I was going to be there all summer so I should get used to it. I’m really curious to see if I’m actually going to come out of this summer liking New York. Should be fun.

While the drive back was long (starting right after I dropped Jamie off at the airport), it didn’t feel that way since I bought Dave Sedaris’ new book, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, on CD for the trip. While, audio books are incredibly expensive, I figured it would be the only way I would be able to survive a 7-hour road trip by myself after a night of 4 hours of sleep. It was perfect. I had heard that the book wasn’t as good as his others – and that’d probably be true since Me Talk Pretty One Day and Naked were pretty amazing – but I think that the book on tape venue is especially good for Mr. Sedaris. It lends a whole stand-up comic feel to his stories and he’s a pretty funny guy. It was as if he were sitting in the car with me.

It was a good purchase…especially since it was 30% off at Barnes and Nobles. On-deck for the trip back I have The Life of Pi.

Good times.

Seatriscuit.

Sorry for my lameness in posting. It's not that I haven't wanted to, but rather that I haven't really had easy access to the internet in a while. I just keep moving around. So, while I was in Baltimore a couple days ago, I'm now in Minnesota. Again. And probably for the last time in a really long time if ever.

While I'm not going to bore you with every minute detail about Minnesota (again), I'm going to tell you an uplifting tale about the triumph of the human spirit. So, my first night here (the day before yesterday), Jamie and I went to Gameworks which is basically a HUGE arcade and bar. It's senior week at Carleton, and it was one of the activities planned by the deans: everything was free 'cept for drinks.

While there, Jamie and I played some crazy horse derby game which actually consisted of 12 different consoles and one giant one in the front of all of them. So, on all the separate consoles, all the players are controlling their horse, and on the giant one the horses are all racing each other. Each player has to breed horses to come out with the ultimate colt -- ours was sub-par ("naughty and hard to control") and pretty freaking slow, but we loved little Zorro anyway. Then you had to train your horse and develop a good relationship with it, feed it, etc. When it's ready for a race you can race it and win money. The whole process takes a long long while...we were probably there for forty minutes or something.

Frankly, Zorro sucked. He finished last or near last in every race -- slightly improving with each race, but still a far cry from glory. In our final race of the night, little Zorro was the 11th favorite (out of 12...it should be noted that #12 was in her first race). Of course, we won. Zorro overcame adversity and all the taunts of the other horses and jockeys and made them all eat his trail of dust. It was glorious. I wanted to take a picture of our horse in the Winner's Circle on the GIANT screen, but was too busy gloating.

And then we ran out of credits and they turned Zorro into glue. (Not really).