Breaking News.

Melissa: [looking at a picture of the Jolie-Pitts]




Jamie: Is Angelina Jolie pregnant???

Melissa: [dies]

I can't explain it, but I have an almost obsessive curiosity about this baby. It's a shameful guilty pleasure. What will it look like??

I bet it's gonna be ugly.

We Are the World.

Last week I had my students make totem poles (we had just read a story about totem poles). They drew three pictures that could symbolize things that were important to them. Here is an excerpt from Elexus:

"First, I drew a heart because of all the love I have for my family.
Next, I drew a picture of the world because we should take more care of it.
Then I drew a picture of noodles. Because I love noodles."

I love the third grade mind. Happy Earth Day everyone.

Hair.

I know I've been gone. Sorry. This is going to be a short post too...just want to let you know about the Hair Project that a friend of Jamie's is putting on for the next week. I think it's awesome.

Even if you don't feel like donating to a good cause (ahem, Doctors Without Borders) you can at least enjoy the wittiness of it all.

Peace out.

Crabtastic.

Wanna see the one ray of light in my bleak, bleak evening (okay, there were two) of writing this horrid paper for Hopkins? Here it is. If you wait around for a little bit on that page, a picture of my bridesmaid WEARING A CRAB ON HER HEAD pops up (she's the tall drink of water). It SO brightens my day/night. Yes...she ran the marathon. Yes...she's amazing and there's nothing she can't do.

The best part is...I totally stumbled upon that website by accident. Just futzing around on the internet trying to put off writing aforementioned paper...when BAM! Crabhead! Also: she wore the crabhat to school on Tuesday in a completely unrelated school thing we had going. That's two days of Crabhead in one week...good times.

Okay. Maybe I should stop overkilling the Crabhead and actually get back to work.

What an Oralist [snerk].

Before you string me up, let me preface by saying that I have been incredibly, incredibly busy these past couple weeks. Not going to bore you with details, but rather a very brief synopsis:

Hopkins Master's Project: 67
Melissa: 68

I came out on top. In overtime of course. But it's done for now...gotta present it to the board (as well as a million teachers) on the 31st...but I'm not really letting myself think about that right now. Suffice to say, I have been useless for the past few days. After turning it in I have had absolutely NO motivation to do anything remotely work-related. Too bad I am being evaluated on Wednesday.

Anyway, Friday I attended my very first (*cough* and LAST *cough*) Moot Court competition. Yes. My fiance reached the FINALS of the competition -- this is a big deal. He beat out all the other teams which had travelled from all over the country and whooped their collective asses. His team (he and one other woman) emerged in first spot after the semi-finals. The finals were actually against another GW team (go figure) and one of the guys was an HW alum who was in the same graduating class as my brother. Small world.

(This picture may not be completely legal. They were taken before we learned that photography wasn't allowed in the courtroom. As for them sitting in the justices' chairs...that's just plain wrong. Please don't arrest us.)

Sadly, Jamie's team didn't win...but second place is still amazing -- especially since it was their very first competition ever. The other team had lots of experience and the HW guy is notorious for being Mr. Moot Court around campus. Still, Jamie BEAT HIM in the semi-finals. I think they were Brokebacked, but the judges did have to deliberate for a long, long time to decide between the two it was so close. (I also want it noted that Annie Proulx felt the same way about the Best Actor nominations as I did a few weeks back. I like it when smart people agree with me...doesn't happen often.)

ALSO, Jamie won 2nd place for BEST ORALIST. Hee! He's such an amazing oralist. Also a big deal in the world of law and resumes. Very proud of the boy. Or should I say, The Man.


Yesterday, Jamie and I got up bright and early and ventured out to Virginia to look at some more wedding places. The first was a gorgeous vineyard -- it would be perfect...except that it's too small. CRY. It could fit 140 people, but everyone would be seated in two different rooms which is not what we want. The guy was awesome, though. I will totally recommend it to any person who wants a small wedding somewhere in VA. Sadly, I won't be walking through this blossom-lined (or so they say) pergola (Sound of Music Style) come 2007.

The other place was nice, but it would have needed to be perfect to merit it being so FAR. It took an hour and a half for us to get there and it's like an hour away from the nearest airport. I would feel better about not having to make people rent a car and drive a million miles. I have pictures of that place too, but Blogger is being slow and I have no patience. So those'll have to wait.

So it comes down to two places. The pops is coming this weekend to look over the options and since he's the one with the wallet I think we'll be decided come Sunday! Wee!

FYI.

I just listened to my downstairs neighbor (aka: SNORLAX) have a very long argument with someone over the phone. It went through phases like: "weepy", "angry", "shouty", and "cussy". It ended with him enraged and screaming into the phone that he was going to "kill you, you mothafucka!" because "I'm tired of your fuckin' shit!" and peeling out of the parking lot and bottoming out over the speed bump. I tell you this, in case the police need to know the exact time that all these events took place.

I kind of miss those screaming kids that used to be my neighbors now. ("I LOVE NOISE! I LOVE NOISE!"

P.S. mmmmmmm...pineapple.

Work Break.

Wolverines are open-minded. That is all.

Contender Number Two.

Yesterday one of my dear bridesmaids (aka: Eileen) took me venue shopping. Coincidentally, it is where she got married last summer and knowing how hard she is to please, the place definitely came with a very comforting stamp of approval. (Just kidding about the "hard to please" part -- she just learned about the blog and I wanted her to yell at her screen.)

Anyway, place number two was great! And I'm not just saying that because she got married there...it actually is great! Much more affordable and very high quality. I definitely feel like we would get a whole lot more for less there. Me, being a total doofus, left the camera at home...but they sent me home with a DVD. I will steal some pictures from Eileen and put them up (if she doesn't mind, of course. *pretty please*?) It is very different from the first place we looked. A very different ambience, but it is more what I envisioned for myself at first. I have a feeling that Jamie will agree when he sees it (the punk is in Minnesota right now).

Anyway, I'm sorry for the lack of posts -- I have been extremely stressed out about my Hopkins portfolio (our big masters project) that is due this month. But, once it's turned in (March 17th) and once I give my presentation on it (March 30th) I'll be back in full force.

Brokeback City.

Okay...this is the last one of these...but I had to link to this one because it was Jake's breakout role. Also, a favorite movie from my childhood. To this day, I very vividly remember my dad buying tickets for us at the theater ("...four for ceeeety sleeeeeeeckers" -- David knows what I mean).

Law Revue Review.

Yesterday was the culmination of many, many weeks of Jamie-less nights. The Law Revue's opening night/final performance (approximately 1,000 tickets sold!). You wanna see some pictures of Jamie wearing more makeup than I ever do? Of course you do.

Here's my man as a Backstreet Boy. This number (which Jamie wrote and directed) was one of the biggest hits of the night: "I Want to Get Paid"(based on that unforgettable ditty, "I Want It That Way"). The group of guys sitting behind me kept on calling for "MORE BOY BAND!!!" the rest of the night. All 2 1/2 HOURS OF IT. I think the sweatband is a nice touch. But, I think Jamie went a little nutty with the lipstick.

Or perhaps you'd prefer this one which I like to think of as "Three Guys Trying to Look Manly with Lipstick On".


The show was great and I'm very proud of my man for all that he accomplished. He sang, he danced, he directed, he wrote...he was responsible for the opening act AND the grand finale (a Rent Medley which. was. awesome). He also proved to me that he is capable of doing the Napoleon Dynamite dance quite hilariously. I doubted him...but I will never doubt the dancing skills again.

He also pulled off a funny impression of one of his professors. Although I don't know what the real thing is like, he got lots of laughs from the crowd, so I think it's safe to assume it was spot on. Plus, someone behind me said (and I quote), "That was the best impression of Fredenthal I have ever seen in my life. Ever." So, Jamie, you get a thumbs-up.

After not having him around for the past few weeks (I saw the man for a cumulative 30 minutes the entire week last week -- and he was unconscious for 25 of those) despite the fact that I live with him, it was going to be hard to convince me that it was worth all the work and hours he had been putting into it.

It was.

Return of the King.

A truly wise and wonderful woman Meredith is. OF COURSE, I'm not mad! Except of course now everyone who reads my blog (all two of them) will not tolerate my lameass posts. "MORE Drewie!" they'll clamor...and sadly I won't be able to satisfy their procrastination needs.

Anyway, Jamie is kicking me off the blog because he wants to read your post. It begins...Welcome back Drewie.

[Uninvited] Guest Post: Rudy! Rudy!

It feels like Breaking and Entering. Or maybe, just simple tresspassing. Or perhaps, I've invented a new crime, let's call it "Grand Theft Bloggo". Either way, I desperately feel like this is against the rules. Then again, maybe it's a cry for help...

Despite my unforgivable absence (mostly signified by my loss of "link" status from this blog), "Rudy! Rudy!" of Death Cab for Drewie is alive and well, although being held captive by the IT Forces of his Employer. "Don't post your opinions on the Internet" they said. And I listened. Yet another form of Corporate America stifling the creativity of the very cogs that keep the gears turning. What a fool I am.

Incidentally, should DCFDrewie ever resurface, I should probably change the name to "Drew's on [Arcade] Fire". I've got a fever, and the only prescription is more "Funeral" (not to be confused with what happens should you actually forget to fill a prescription. That would be an unfortunate irony, wouldn't it?) Which also reminds me that I've had the most perfect. idea. ever. You should come to Chicago for Lollapalooza. You know you want to.

And now, I must run, before I've said too much. Venue #1 looks beautiful, but more importantly, regardless of location, you're wedding will be the most perfect day ever, and I will be honored and touched to witness it.

Cheers.
Blogger's own Rip Van Winkle

PS - To everyone who has no idea who I am, Melissa will be back for her regularly scheduled programming soon.

PSS - I will not be offended if you cut me off. Seriously, you should probably cut me off. I'm not kidding. I flunked "self-restraint" all through school. I'm like the kid who couldn't stop eating the glue stick, even though I knew I wasn't supposed to.

PSS - I never ate the glue stick. That's just gross.

PSS - [smacks lips] mmm... glue-y.

PSS - Mere said you wouldn't get mad...

The One with A Lot of Hyperlinks.

Just changing gears here. On Friday, Jamie and I went to see Capote. While I could see why people thought it was a good movie -- and I thought it was a good movie -- I just wasn't very entertained. There was great acting...the story was interesting...but for some reason I kept on waiting for it to be over.

Anyway, seeing that movie got me thinking about the upcoming Oscars. More specifically, thinking about the Best Actor nominees. Don't get me wrong: I LOVE Phillip Seymour Hoffman. He made me cry like a baby in Magnolia and I can't look at him without thinking about Boogie Nights (even though he had a teeny part in it), but I'm rooting for Heath Ledger.

While Hoffman does a phenomenal job capturing Truman Capote's emotions, mannerisms, and "that voice", I think it's somewhat easier to adjust your acting when there is an eccentric person who really existed for you to base it upon. In contrast, Ledger had to create his character -- granted there was a script and a rough outline of the character -- but he has to bring Ennis Delmar to life. Not only that, but he needs to play a subdued character that has "penned-up-angry-bull" emotions and I think that's really difficult to portray. And he does it! Amazingly well! Heath Ledger for Best Actor!

Ultimately both actors did amazing work -- and I'm sure Joaquin Phoenix, David Straithairn, and whoever Terrance Howard did too. So I guess the message to take home is that this was a good year for acting.

Oh, and congratulations to Jake for winning the BAFTA. Go Wolverines!

Finding "The One".

Today Jamie and I got up bright and early to do some reception site shopping before we strapped ourselves to our computers to get some work done. It was our first official wedding venture. We drove 40 minutes to Annapolis, crossed the Bay Bridge, and braved the cold...I loved it.

Since it was our first time we weren't all that efficient with our time -- we only ended up seeing one place...but it was one of our favorites from our preliminary searches online. Wanna see? (Wait, is it bad luck for guests to see the reception site before the wedding? Whatev. We probably can't afford it anyway.)

The first one is of the "altar". The second is of the ballroom. I am a fan of this place, but the wallet is not. I look at this one as my ideal venue -- it even had rocking chairs on the porch outside of the ballroom! Dream come true! I love love love the altar -- I think it has a Shinto temple quality (okay, just the shape) that my dad would appreciate. Plus, the bridal suite was awesome.

Okay, I'm done gushing about the expensive place. To tell the truth, this is actually in the middle of the spectrum (maybe upper-middle) available to us. There are some really, truly, crazy expensive places to get married around here! I'm talking $8,000 to get married places (I'm thinking I shouldn't visit those places). I can't imagine what it would be like trying to get married in a city like Los Angeles or San Francisco would be like.

So...what do you guys think of contestant number one?

"You Hold the WooKEY to My Heart."

Happy Valentine's Day!

And of course, we all deserve a little geek lovin' so...

hee hee hee.

Just got back from a lovely night on the town with the fiance. We went to see some Shakespeare at a playhouse in D.C. after he cooked me some yummy risotto. (Which I just burped). He's a good man. We saw Measure for Measure -- Shakespeare's last comedy...ever! It was good -- I had never heard of it before, so it was nice to get some fresh Shakespeare. It was also law-related so Jamie got a kick out of that. There was also sex in it...so you know, I liked that. Kidding. Sort of.

So I have to complain a little bit about my neighbor. I'm not exactly sure which neighbor it is, but ONE of my neighbors has a severe snoring problem. So severe that it keeps me awake at night. At first I thought it had to be a television, but its regularity and the fact that it's. every. NIGHT. led me to believe otherwise. I don't mind loud neighbor sex (that at least has some entertainment value -- especially when it shakes the walls). I can stand the bad hiphop music every once in a while. I tolerate the loud t.v. BUT THE SNORING???

Seriously. He snores so loudly it keeps me -- in a completely different apartment -- awake. I was thinking about writing a note to him pretending to be a doctor and saying "as a doctor, I feel as though you should have your sinuses checked. You got problems." I thought that might be unethical. Also, I'm a huge coward that I'm unable to confront my neighbor about the fact that his snoring sounds like a garbage disposal.

Suggestions?

Charlie Brown Happy Dance.

Literally the second I published that post, my phone rang and it was my teammate, Eileen. This is our conversation (which may, or may not be slightly dramatized for the occasion):

Me: [frustrated] What??

Eileen: How long ago did you refresh the website?

Me: [frustrated] two seconds ago.

E: I want you to go to this website, http://wbal.com and click on the School Closing button...because WE'RE CLOSED, BITCH!

M: NU-UH!

E: YUH-HUH [screaming]

M: [screaming]

E: I'M CALLING ALL MY FRIENDS NOW AND RUBBING IT IN THEIR FACE!

M: IN THE FACE! IN THE FACE!

There is no one on God's green earth that can convince me that kids get more excited about snow days than teachers. No way.

Charlie Brown UUUUUUUUUUG!

That's how I feel every time I check the school closings website and see that five more schools are closed for tomorrow and Baltimore City schools are not. I think every school district around Baltimore City is closed tomorrow -- or at the very least delayed for 2 hours.

Perhaps the superintendant likes to torture people. Or at least torturing me. The tally is up to 74 school districts closed for tomorrow. UUUUUUUUG!

Cross your fingers for me.

It Snowed!

But, first things first: CONGRATULATIONS to my friends Jamie and Joel on their engagement. They are the first of my friends to get engaged, and I think the feeling that I got as soon as I heard the news was one of the most overwhelmingly great feelings I have had in my life. It puts everything in perspective.

Another reason it's a good day? I looked out the window and saw this:

Our first big snow of the season. Probably will be our last too. I love waking in warm bed and looking out and seeing a fresh blanket of snow. Cody liked it too...

"Some Play the Game, He Changed It!"

Just got back from a yummy seafood dinner with Jamie for and early Valentine's Day celebration. Really yummy. The dinner was originally scheduled for yesterday, but we had to reschedule because of car trouble. Jamie's car died so I had to buy some jumper cables to try and rescue him. No luck. So we waited for the tow truck guy.

A conversation with the tow truck guy revealed that he worked the 12 hours between 6pm and 6am. Yikes. How does he keep himself entertained if no one needs a tow? I wondered. Jamie's ride with him to the gas station answered my question. Apparently, he watched DVDs. WHILE HE DROVE. He had his laptop hooked up and on the dashboard so that he could watch Boss'n Up with Snoop Dogg. With Jamie in the car. While towing his car. Needless to say that guy was weaving all over the road.

Seriously, people.

It's that Time Again...

...another pressing due date...another set of procrastination tools.

Here's one I have clicked on a couple times for a few chuckles. I enjoy the "Email from God" one. Oh, and this one.