Go Traffic Light Boy. It's Your Birthday.

Today was Traffic Light Boy's birthday. To commemorate, I would like to share with you an excerpt from his sensory descriptive writing. His subject, of course, is a traffic light "...with glittering ponds of light with colored grass." (Just a note, this boy is incapable of writing a complete sentence on anything else.)

Also, today on the bus for our field trips he pointed out that his very favorite thing about Maryland was that they have "all-new" traffic lights.

I. Love. This. Kid.

A Quiet Sunday.

First some important news: hours of enjoyment for all those involved is as simple as a ping-pong ball, a bathtub, and an orange tabby.

Second, I'm a little stressed out as the big shopping season begins and I'm watching as things on our registries are sold out before I even got a chance to share the registry information with my guests. The plates I fell in love with are on backorder now! So sad! I want to bust the collective knee caps of all those pushy shoppers taking the last item off the shelves.

Give our registry a chance...

Yam Withdrawal.

I know Thanksgiving has come and gone. I know that I shouldn't even be talking about food at this point, but I have to blog about this. For many, many, many, years my family had Thanksgiving with our closest friends. Everyone would share the cooking, but one unfortunate family would have to host at their home. However, this was fair because the host family rotated between the three families.

While the family hosting the event would change, and the people present at our official Thanksgiving dinner would change, one thing would not change: the yams.


The sweet, delicious, yams topped with marshmallows. My favorite Thanksgiving item without contest. I know in my heart that the pilgrims found some way to manufacture marshmallows using a churning device and that they had their own platter of authentic yams topped with marshmallows at the first Thanksgiving dinner.


Sadly, Jamie declared that yams with marshmallows were airing on the side of (for lack of a better phrase) "white trash" and that they should not be part of our Thanksgiving dinner. Of course he is wrong. For two years an epic battle ensued, and I fought and fought for my yams. For two years I was victorious.

That is...until this year. Yams were absent from our bountiful Thanksgiving spread and some other fortunate family got to enjoy those yams pictured above. Jamie announced that instead of yams we would be making a "maple autumn blend" of veggies with butternut squash, acorn squash, and parsnips. Butternut squash is no yam, my friend, and parsnips are definitely not marshmallows.

Ultimately, I conceded because we discovered that marshmallows are not vegetarian and therefore, I would be the only person at Thanksgiving eating the yams since Scott would never lower himself to partake.

Candied Yams? This one's for you...

Thanksgiving Recap.

Happy Thanksgiving to all! I know it's actually not offically Thanksgiving anymore, I just figured I would check in anyway. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday spent with loved ones. I spent mine with two of my very favorite men -- an intimate Thanksgiving. Even though there were only three of us, we still managed to whip up a lot of food (in addition to the aforepictured turkey masterpiece):















It was yummy. On the menu was a simple roast turkey that I basted with a mixture of orange juice, garlic, and a littl soy sauce. Totally improvised, yet surprisingly good! Yummy mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans and a roast with autumn vegetables. We had some crostini with roasted red pepper and goat cheese for our appetizer.

Scott approved of the food so that was good.

But now I am exhausted from cooking and cleaning dishes all day. And the bellyful of turkey probably doesn't help. I am thankful for the warm, soft bed that's awaiting me as soon as I finish this post.

The only casuality (aside from the turkey) was a wine glass that fell victim to Scott's fork-flinging antics. We are down to 3 sad little wine glasses thanks to the brothers Long. I think we should register for plastic wine tumblers instead of glasses.

Germ Central.

So I'm sick and many of my students are sick. The result of which is that the classroom is a veritable paradise for germs right now. Here is quote from today to illustrate:

Jordan: [coughs weezily]

Diamond: [clears the phlegm out of her throat]

Ms. U: [honks nose while blowing it]

Dre'Kwon: It sounds gross in here today.

I promise you I do have other children in my classroom other than these three -- although I do realize that I have mentioned all three of these students in previous posts. Dre'Kwon just cracks me up on a daily basis. The other day he brought me a stress ball that was in the shape of an apple.

Dre'Kwon: [puts apple/stress ball on the corner of my desk]

Ms. U: ???

Dre'Kwon: It's so I don't have to bring you a real one everyday...

Ms. U: Thanks Dre'Kwon!

D: ...and so when you get mad at me you can just look at me and squeeze it a lot.

Sometimes, I love my job. Even when I can't breathe out of my nostrils.

Found Treasures.

So in our packing frenzy, Jamie and I found some long-lost items. Here of two of note. The first was my acceptance letter into TFA - Baltimore. Once we were assigned a region in the country, they sent us a pretty standard welcome letter. Attached was a letter from a student in the Baltimore City Public School System. It was a cute letter and I vividly remember sitting in my dorm room reading it over and over.

It wasn't until I found it again today that I realized that I actually taught the kid who wrote my letter. Tell me -- what are the chances?? This was long before I knew what school I would be teaching at -- even long before I knew what grade I would be teaching. Of all the kids, in all of Baltimore City, the letter they ended up sending me was from a future pupil of mine! Now, I can't wait and find her tomorrow to show her the letter she wrote four years ago.

The other awesome thing was from the same era. Right around when I was finding out where I would be teaching, Jamie was applying and getting into law schools. When he got into GW I made him this drawing:

(I know it's crappy quality, but I don't have a scanner)

I don't know why exactly, but I think this totally encapsulates our relationship. Please note: Jamie's spiky head of hair in all but his infant stage of life, and the fact that he always has that big ol' grin. Also note the fact that there are piles of CD (cases) in the back of our car as we drove across the country because Jamie insisted that they come with us and get prime seating while they did. Meanwhile, all clothing got piled on top of our car and pounded down by the elements (including but not limited the most incredible rainstorm ever).

Boy howdy do I have a crush on my fiance.

Leader of the Pack.

Actually. Jamie would prefer if you called him "The Packing King" in deference to his mad packing skills. Here is a boring picture of him in action:


Yes. After 2.5 years we are packing all of our accumulated junk and getting out of Greenbelt and moving into D.C. Into a real house! One that has nice floors and brick walls! And its own washer and dryer! And a fireplace! [does a happy dance]. It's awesome -- so awesome that I don't mind the addition 20 minutes of driving it adds to my hour long commute to work. Wanna see? (You may also want to appreciate the most awesome Harry Potter scarf I made for Jamie).

That "Under Contract" sign is because of us! That's us! Standing in front of our new house! So now, we pack and get ready for our big move in December...

Better Than Some Stupid Bond Movie.

So yesterday we celebrated my brother-to-be's birthday. Actually, it was one of my BTB's actual birthdays -- but he's far away so we couldn't really celebrate it with him. Scott had his birthday earlier this week so we took him out for some dinner, fed him some ice cream cake, and watched a movie.

The whole day I had been dreading seeing the new Bond movie. I knew that's what Scott would want to see and as it was his birthday and all, there was little that I could do to stop it. There's nothing I really hold against the Bond movies...except that they all suck and I have yet to see one that I enjoyed. But last night the movie gods were smiling upon me and sold out all the showings of Casino Royale and plopped Stranger Than Fiction in the only convenient time slot. That was awesome.

As I had been wanting to see this movie for quite some time now, I was setting it up to be a huge disappointment. It was not. I liked it -- which means you should all go see it. And while you're at the theater, glare at the Casino Royale poster.

And because I now can, here's the trailer:

Just So You Don't Have to Look At Captain Planet...

...I update.

I feel like this last week has been all wedding, all the time and I'm finally getting to check some things off the ol' list. The biggest accomplishment came on Tuesday-- I finally picked out my wedding gown! It really is as dramatic as is in movies. You try on a dress and you start crying because it's so overwhelming. So I forked over the money and now I get to wait around for it.

Yesterday, Jamie and I visited a couple of stores and scan-gunned to our hearts content. Of course, we've been adding things to our registry ever since we got home, but the scan gun is also as awesome as it seems.

Finally, we went dancing to check out a band we've been thinking of having. They were great and I'm happy to report that at no point did I wipe out on the floor completely. But listening to the band raised a good question. We decided that if we were going to get a band -- this would be the band to get. Which also means making a decision that would completely affect the entire atmosphere of our reception. While Jamie and many of his friends are big fans of swing dancing and the like, I lack rhythm and grace. Also, unless my friends have been harboring a secret passion for dance, they might not be as willing to get on that dance floor for jazzy music.

The band is really good. They will definitely entertain and Eric Felton seems like an excellent master of ceremonies. But, I want everyone to feel included. So the big question is: should we risk getting a D.J. that might botch things up, or go for the classy band? Opinions?? Help.

Finally: I know that I have been seriously lame lately as far as updating goes. To make up for it, here's a little gem from Friday's class.

[Kids are cutting up grocery circulars to put together a shopping list for our lesson on money.]
Kid 1: Oooooh! Let's get some sausages!
Kid 2: I want Mac n' Cheese!
Kid 3: Let's get some bleach!
1: Why [sic] you want bleach???
3: It's good!
1 & 2: [laughing]
3: What? Ms. U! Can't you drink bleach??
Ms. U: [horrified] What??? NO!
3: Ya you can! Like, mixed in with some water??

After much panic and discussion, we determined without doubt that Kid 3 does NOT drink bleach at home, but rather lemonade that comes in a similar looking container. Jebus.

He's A Hero.

So, the fiance has revealed his true identity (...we all had suspected it from the beginning...)

"By your powers combined..."

"...I am...Captain Planet!"

"The Power is Yours!""
(Accompanying Planeteers not pictured)

Sure, Captain Planet is looking a little skeevy these days, and he's graduated to boxers, but he's still a favorite of mine.

Happy almost Halloween!

Why? Because It's So Awesome.

So my dear friend Eileen sent me an email today that made this day awesome. Now I would like to spread some of the love. Enjoy!












If only these were letters from my classroom...my goodness.

Mountain Day without the Mountain.

I have been nostalgic for the alma mater lately. It just so gorgeous in that neck of the woods in the fall. Mountain Day is a class day when the Williams community sleeps in and climbs up a mountain to enjoy the fall foliage. Apple cider and singing ensues.

Well, couldn't enjoy a Williams Mountain Day, but I did get around to taking a stroll around our neighborhood lake with my camera. Looks like fall is here!
Anyway, sorry for the long absence -- I have been pretty overwhelmed this past week. But! I did manage to go gown shopping with my pal Eileen on Friday. It felt so surreal that I didn't get emotional about it until I got home. I did find some things I liked -- wee!

I'll be posting again sometime soon, but Jamie's kicking me off the computer. Lamebutt. Here are some more pictures of our lovely neighborhood.

Time for Reflection.

While I know that teaching is hardly one of America's most dangerous jobs, sometimes it is hard to swallow all of the violence that surrounds our children and still feel like we are able to protect them. When they walk through my classroom doors, those kids become my kids.

Every day, my kids come into the classroom with so much worry and sadness and I work to help them leave it behind for seven hours. Still, my heart breaks when one student cries about going home everyday, or another tells me he has to miss school the next day because he has to go to juvenile court.

Last week, was a particularly bad one for Baltimore City Public Schools and included two school shootings. One of which was mere blocks from my school and the other was in a third grade classroom. When 8 year-olds are bringing guns to school we need to pause. We need to take action to fix our broken school system. We need to make it everyone's responsibility to protect these -- our -- children.

Celebrities!

Jamie's younger brother recently informed us that we were mentioned in the school newspaper (you have to scroll down about two-thirds of the page to see us mentioned). Yes, I realize that my high school has a school newspaper that publishes online -- it's a little redonk. As half of a couple that was extremely schmoopy all over the high school campus, I am slightly mortified.

I completely agree with Ms. Cuseo, though. I think high school couples do stand a "better" chance if they go to separate colleges. I say "better" even though it's still a snowball's chance anyway.

AH! Late for work.

Getting Warmer...

Today:

Robert: Ms. U, is you from Japan, China, Mexico, or Baltimore?

Ms. U: Actually Robert, the question is "are you from Japan, China, Mexico, or Baltimore?" To answer your question, I am from California.

R: [running back to his group] Daaaaaaang! She [sic] from The O.C.! And she get here early every day too!

U: [just proud that Robert knew that Japan and China were different countries]

It's progress...As intelligent and capable as my students are, most of them have no concept of the world beyond Baltimore. They consider it a country and are always shocked when I tell them that Texas is not a different country and neither is New York.

Also today, the light of my life brought me flowers! Not only that, but my favorite color roses! For no apparent reason! Exclamation point! Aren't they beautiful?


And I didn't even need to pick a fight and pretend to be mad at him to get them....not that I'd do that or anything...

Slap-Happy.

So I may be getting a little too excited about learning how to put videos in my blog. Deal with it -- there is nothing exciting going on in my life right now.

Anyway, these guys have put out a bunch of videos and every once in a while, one comes along that makes me laugh and laugh and laugh (and laugh). This one was one of them.

Maybe it's because I have never heard the "interrupting sloth" joke before. Or maybe it's because these guys remind me of so many people in my life. Perhaps its because the interrupting cow joke was a personal favorite of my youth. Or maybe it's because I'm incredibly immature. While I didn't laugh as hard for this one as I did their Mother's Day video, I felt as though it was worth posting. Also: because I don't want to lose the two readers I may have gained in the past week (hi guys!) by falling off the face of the planet.

Ready to Pump [CLAP] You Up.

So, many posts ago, I told you all about the sweater that I had been knitting for Jamie since FOREVER ago. Well, I failed to mention that I actually did get around to completing it over a year ago. I had to wait around until my mom could sew the pieces together for me -- because I suck at sewing -- and it was then that the true misfortune that is my first sweater unveils itself.
Here is Jamie in a corny modeling pose. This is the angle that is most flattering for the sweater. It actually looks like something that he might wear in public. But, turn slightly to the right and you get an unfortunate view of gorilla arms. Somehow, the sleeves are uneven and have like twice as many stitches as they are supposed to. Consequently, Jamie's arms look huge. Almost like Hans and Franz's arms might look. Let's compare:





Yep. Hans and Franz.

With a different pose, Jamie has dreamy "princess shoulder poofs". As much as I might enjoy the thought of Jamie with princess poofs, I could not let him venture out into public with said poofs.


Fortunately, my mom graciously offered to remove the poofs with her knitting/sewing wizardry. At this point in the sweater's history I was through looking at it. You'll be happy to know that it is back in Jamie's hands where he can go on to make more goofy poses in it this upcoming winter. So ends the saga of my first sweater.

Jamie is a good sport for letting me photograph him in the sweater. What a catch.

"Make Like a Tree and Get Outta Here"

So I stumbled upon this a couple days ago and since I am nothing if not an ardent Back To The Future fan I thought I'd try a little experiment. Let's see if it works...


Did it work? (It did!) Anyway, it's nice to see that Biff Tannen (aka: Thomas F. Wilson) is still up to something. All I had seen him in since BTTF was the video for Back To The Future: The Ride at Universal Studios that they play before you actually get on -- it made me a little sad.

Sibling Rivalry.

Oh, it's on.

Apparently Dave and Kathy decided to steal our toothpaste.

Place where toothpaste was last seen. Note my toothbrush sans toothpaste.

I am considering running to CVS to get more toothpaste, but I was also falling asleep while reading to my students today so I'm thinking I may just floss/mouthwash and bypass the brushing in favor 7 hours of sleep tonight. But that just seems gross to me. WAH.

[stops crying long enough to check if big brother feels guilty yet]

This means war.

Cheap as Free Haircut.

Sorry for the hiatus. I was distracted by a beloved sibling and sibling-in-law for the past two days. Yes, Dave and Kathy finally made it to D.C. (which is undoubtedly the highest point of their cross-country adventure). Unfortunately, work prevented me from actually spending much time with them, but I tried to make the most of it. We ate lots of food and both Dave and I managed to gather the courage necessary to do a serious number to his head.

I regularly cut Jamie's hair and will sometimes venture to cut Scott's. These haircuts are different for two reasons: for Jamie, I'm the one who has to suffer looking at a bad haircut. For Scott, anything is an improvement (I kidd -- sorta.) But Dave's hair? Scary stuff.

But also fun. Made sure to give him some stupid-looking haircuts along the way. At one point he just had really long bangs. The end result?
Not my best work, but I take much comfort in knowing that it'll be perfectly grown out by the time he gets back to his home. There's a whole country to cross in the meantime.

And now: a drunken bear. (A bunch of teachers were laughing about this in the lounge today -- being the only one without cable I was out of the loop...again.)

Thumbsucker.

As a child, I sucked my thumb incessantly. I probably sucked my thumb far longer than was appropriate. I now have a student (who is 8 years-old, mind you) who still sucks her thumb and it's really stressing me out. A scene from class on Thursday:

K: [sucking thumb, highly distressed look on face]

Ms. U: K, please take your thumb out of your mouth and wash it. [notices distress] What's wrong?

K: [points to the floor] I stepped on dog poo and it smells! [scrapes shoe on floor]

Ms. U: !!! Try not to wipe it on the floor! Let's go get you a paper towel and some water to clean off your shoe. Then, wash your hands!

K: [cleans shoe]

Ms. U: [cleans floor]

[thirty minutes later]

K: [grabs bottom of shoe absentmindedly, then puts thumb in mouth]

Ms. U: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[thirty minutes later]

K: I have a stomachache.

I hope I was younger than 8 when I stopped sucking my thumb...I don't actually remember. But, I would like to formally apologize to all those people who told me to stop sucking my thumb while I bratted against it. I now understand your horror.

Rain on My Parade.

Jamie just informed me that Dre'Kwon probably meant "...like [you might train] a monkey!", rather than you might stuff a monkey into the microwave.

It is no longer as funny. But, why on God's green earth would you train a monkey to use a microwave??

HOLY CRAP. I hesitantly typed in "monkey" and "microwave" in Google Images (wary of what I might find) to get a picture for my blog, and I've unearthed a whole Monkey-Training-Community! So that is why you train a monkey to use a microwave...My student has taught me a valuable lesson today.*

*This post brought to you by Dre'Kwon.

P.S. Please note the awesome logo for Helping Hands when you visit their site.

Naturally.

Today we were starting a story about seeing eye dogs. Here's a snippet of dialogue in the classroom:

Ms. U: ...guide dogs like seeing eye dogs and dogs for the hearing-impaired are specially-trained to do important things like cross the street or open drawers...

Dre'Kwon: [waving hand excitedly] ...like you can train a seeing-eye dog to put things in the microwave...like a MONKEY!

Most excellent.

In other news, Cody booted on the floor today. It was the first time he had ever done so and Jamie was worried enough about it to call me on my cell phone. I don't think he called me out of concern for my cat, but rather because he was confused about cat behavior. Kind of like the time he thought something was seriously wrong with the cat because he made a weird rattling noise. (Cody was purring).



Cody's all good now if you were worried.

Beta to the Max.

So I finally figured out how to update my blog to "Blogger Beta". Now I have spent a substantial part of my Sunday morning trying to tweak and fix my blog to look like it does now. On the outside the blog is not all that different. But! Now I have something called labels! No idea what labels are except that they must have something to do with organizing stuff. I'll play around with it: this post will be labeled "Geekitude".

In wedding-related news: I'm starting to freak out a little here. I had dinner with a friend who got engaged last spring (read: months after I did) and she's already good to go. Granted she had a much shorter engagement and is getting married in March, but still. I'm worried that the wedding planning is going to stop being "fun" as more panic sets in. I wonder if I have what it takes to become a bridezilla? Time will tell, and this blog will document it.


Finally, in this smorgasboard of a blog post I wish to rant about the house search. As some of you may or may not know, Jamie and I have been casually looking for a house in DC. I say "casually" because: a) we can't really afford a house right now and would not actually be able to buy one on our own, b) our current lease is not up until July, and c) we have neither the time nor the energy to actually look for a house. I enjoy house-hunting. BUT, it's eating away at my heart. The houses around here don't last on the market for more than a week (unless that are sh*tholes) and that is too little time for me to see a house and then arrange for Jamie to see the house. Of the last three houses I liked, all of them were gone within two days of my seeing them, it's like I'm being repeatedly dumped!

I heard that it was a slow housing market, but apparently that doesn't apply to Capitol Hill. Boo.

Pencil Haus.

I realize this may be somewhat of a letdown for some who were expecting something really crazy...but to me, kind reader, this really is hilarious. Maybe I just have a weird sense of humor. This is what I found in Diamond's desk:

Let's discuss. First of all, she has made a house for her pencil sharpener out of a tissue box. Not only that, but it's a comfortable 1BD/1BA home complete with home decoration. Let's also not fail to notice that she has tucked her pencil sharpener in between the downy soft sheets of Puffs (w/ moisturizer). Unfortunately, the bathroom is a mess with his wastes laying on the floor, but she did try to counteract that with a sticky-note drawing taped to the wall (which unfortunately, can't be seen from this angle). She really loves to sharpen her pencil and treasures that sharpener.

What surprises me is that she constructed this house discreetly enough for me not to bust her on it until it was completely done. I don't know if this is testament to her sneakiness, or my complete and utter lack of sight. Also, I am constantly hounding on her to pay attention but it is clear that she is not despite my continued warnings.

After being lectured, Diamond asked if she should throw away her masterpiece. I told her not to because I wanted to take a picture [for my blog]. Shameful. This blog has made me sacrifice what little shred of teacher-integrity I had left. But -- looking at that picture at the top of the page -- I'm glad I now have it immortalized on the internet because, like the "Traffic Light Kite", it'll make me smile after a bad day.

Cliffhanger.

While I love my students, there are times when I am ready to pull out my hair and nails. One of the students who most inspires this level of frustration is my dear Diamond. Very sweet kid, but also very talkative and not at all interested in hearing about verbs or probability. Diamond would much rather sharpen her pencil (every four and half seconds) or play footsie with Malik. Never was her lack of interest in me or my teaching more evident than it was today, when "the desk fairy" (aka: me) was delivering a sweet treat to those students who kept their desks orderly.

I found quite a surprise...

But you'll need to come back tomorrow for the photographic evidence. The battery on my camera died and there are no words to explain so I won't attempt before you see the picture. If you have my sense of humor, it'll be worth the wait. I laughed so hard I almost cried -- but maybe that's just because I'm delirious from lack of sleep.

Walk the Plank.

Jamie reminded me that today is Talk Like A Pirate Day. So, lemme just pull out the ol' pirate phrase dictionary and see what I can find:

Avast! Today we be talking like pirates! Ye be a dirty bilgerat if ye do not comply! Yaaaarrrrrrr.

And that's all I got, because it's entirely too exhausting to talk like a pirate after too little sleep. I hope all of you have a day just brimming with piratey-goodness. I couldn't believe how much stuff there was about Talk Like A Pirate Day...it was all over the place. I multiplied my knowledge of pirate lingo today and I can go to bed knowing that I am a better person now.

Evicted.

Came home today and the locks to my front door were changed. Damn.

Turns out, our downstairs neighbor had requested that his locks be changed (no doubt in relation to the all-out fight he had with his girlfriend in which she ended up thrown down the stairs and the police ended up spending a good deal of time in our stairwell.) Unfortunately, they changed our locks instead. Boo.

The good news is, the kindly maintenance guy who let me in reminded me vaguely of Santa Clause. It brightened my day ever so slightly.

Tonight's Procrastination Provided to You By...

Now I remember what I wanted to post about. I was looking at some list of the 100 Best Music Videos (on which "Thriller" does not make the top 25!) and as a consequence have been singing Daft Punk's Around the World ALL WEEKEND. The video's pretty great once you understand what the hell is going on.

I was also pleased that Aha's "Take on Me" made the top 5 (kind of a given, but I was worried after I saw where "Thriller" was.)

The Post About Nothing At All.

This is Cody doing his best impression of Hitchcock. Terrifying.

Instead of doing work this morning (as I should have been doing), I decided to go catch some grub and see a house with Scott. I really liked the house, and I really liked spending time with my future brother-in-law. Good times.

Hmm. When I started to write this post I had an idea of what to write about. Then, I downloaded the picture and wrote about seeing houses and I have completely forgotten it. Maybe it will come back to me later and I'll write about then. For now, this is a post about absolutely nothing (except for seeing houses and loving Scott.)

It Must Be Late.

A dialogue:

Melissa: [looking through Netflix] Hey, do you want to see Tsotsi?

Jamie: We've seen it already!

Melissa: I don't think so...I'm pretty sure I would remember...

Jamie: I'm positive. We saw it together. It was on my Netflix.

Melissa: Maybe you saw it without me.

James: No! We watched it. I'm positive.

Melissa: I don't remember it at all...explain the plot to me.

Jamie: Dustin Hoffman is an actor that can't get work so he dresses like a woman.

Melissa: ?????

Melissa: ...........

Melissa: I said Tsotsi, not Tootsie.

[Laughter ensues for too long]

We are deliriously tired and so this is hilarious enough to blog about. It's my blog and I get to decide.

Inn of Cult.

I know I've been negligent lately...just lack energy after the school day I guess. It's funny -- all throughout the day I will hear absolute gems from my students. Things that I make a mental note of, and then almost immediately forget. It's frustrating really.

So, instead I will mention that Jamie got nominated to join some law group (an "Inn of Court" for you law types who know what the hell that is...) that sounds pretty prestigious -- only one student from the entire law school is nominated. He got a letter from the Dean of the law school citing his "incredible oral skills", impeccable writing and award-winning performance in Moot Court. This is all fine and dandy, but I think the group is a cult or some scam.

Exhibit A: The Dean misspelled Jamie's name. Apparently, one of GW's top oralists is named "Jaime".

Exhibit B: The website looks a little out of the early 90's. I would link to it, but wish to preserve what's left of Jamie's privacy.

Exhibit C: Past members include some pretty hefty Republicans. Not to be trusted (especially my dad.)

Of course, it could also be a really great opportunity. There are some heavyhitters involved in it now, including some Supreme Court lawyers and a former Solicitor General. Plus, I doubt the Dean of the Law School would really mislead Jamie into the clutches of evil politicos. That is, of course, if the person who wrote the email was actually the Dean of the Law School...[cue ominous music]...dun dun DUN!

Jamie accepted it, so we'll find out the validity of this thing soon enough. Stay tuned.

They Said "Yea" for Mary Cheh.

So Jamie has been working very hard on a political campaign for the past several months. When I say "very hard", I mean making it his first priority -- even over sleep. Take as an example: he worked himself sick with a fever and cold over the weekend. That didn't stop him from staying out campaigning and whatnot until 10:30pm last night. THEN he ditched school today and woke up at 3:30AM to go and put signs out at each poll site and do all the things that a dutiful campaign coordinator will do. Including (but not limited to) driving voters to the appropriate poll sites, informing voters about their rights, and whatever else these political types do on election days. Let it be noted that he has still not come home since leaving the house this morning at 3:30AM.

I just called him and he assured me that he would be home around midnight. Seriously. The man is a workaholic to an extreme. What am I getting myself into??

The great news is that his candidate won. (The Post hasn't updated their site with the information, but I have the insider news. Hopefully, by the time anyone reads this, it'll have been updated.) There is no doubt in my mind that she won because of all of the devoted work of my fiance and his minions. I'm so proud of him...I just wish I could see him for more than 10 minutes straight to tell him so...

Me? I'm sick now having caught whatever it was he had over the weekend. Life is grand.

A Blog Mistress.

I've been a pretty loyal to my blog, aside from a few long(er) breaks and my year-long indiscretion to another host. I like it, but there are some things that are lacking. I'm getting bored with the way the thing looks, but am not techno-savvy/patient enough to actually change it the old-fashioned way. I want more options!

Consequently, I have been toying with the idea of making a switch again. I was recently invited to start a blog using a new program which looks pretty awesome. It's by the same people who do TypePad which I hear is superior to Blogger. Also, this new program would allow me to post videos! and music! and pictures in a more flexible format! This is all very alluring. Add to that new layouts, the ability to label stuff, and whatnot and I'm almost ready to go.

There are two things that are keeping me from making the move: 1) I'd hate to lose all the blogging I have been doing for the past three years and 2) Blogger is supposedly coming out with a "new" and "improved" program. Okay, so maybe I wouldn't "lose" my old posts -- but it wouldn't be as seamlessly connected as it is now. I guess my plan of action will be to wait until Blogger releases the update and hope it's awesome...but I will still toy with the idea of a blog mistress on the side. If things don't work out with Blogger I'll make the switch and hope that people will still check it.

Wow. This turned out to be an incredibly nerdy and boring post. Here's a White Ninja cartoon for you:

A Great Sleepytime Movie.

I get so drained from teaching hyperactive 8 year-olds, that I need my weekend nights to be filled with mindless entertainment. This is usually provided by some movie rented from Netflix. Today's movie was Syriana.

I was predisposed to dislike the movie Syriana. First, because it meant that we were not watching the movie I had rented (Friends With Money). Secondly, Jamie described it to me as "like Traffic" and for one reason or another I really disliked Traffic. So, when you add this bias to the fact that Syriana is not mindless entertainment, I was bracing myself for a really slow-moving movie that was going to make my brain hurt...

[Movie Starts]

Jamie: [gets up to get water]

Me: [watching] ...

Me: ...

Me: This is a really slow movie! It's been showing the same thing for 50 seconds and nothing's happened!

Jamie: That's because I paused it.

Me: Oh.

Maybe I wasn't giving it a fair chance. Regardless, I fell asleep relatively quickly and only woke up for the big explosions and the torture scene. All in all, I can say it was a pretty good movie and having your nails pulled out is a horrible way to be tortured.

The Best Blog Post Ever.

I know it's starting to get to the point where I have an obsession with my student's obsession with traffic lights, but I could not let this just pass me by. Today we finished reading a story about two friends who made "wish kites". As a fun little wrap-up activity, I had my kids make their own wish kites.
This kid cracks me up. Make no mistake, every single wish was to do with traffic lights. Including my personal favorite wish:

I will try not to post about Traffic Light Kid tomorrow. However, let it be known that if he shows up on Halloween wearing a traffic light costume I will die instantly.

Unavoidable Truth.

I was going to try and stay away from this whole Suri business, but I can't help it. Two things:

1) This baby is extremely cute.

2) This baby is partially asian.

Is it just me? Does this baby only look asian to me because I am asian? Is this some deep-seeded bias that I have? I cannot say exactly why she looks asian to me, but despite those stunning blue eyes I cannot deny that she looks at least partially asian. I have said "asian" way too many times in the last paragraph.

One more thing: this child is too perfect looking to be the spawn of Tom and Katie. Aren't most celebrity babies somewhat funny looking since they are the combination of very pretty parents with strong features? It's what you learn in Psych 101: the people we see as beautiful are generally the ones with the most normalized features. You add in a crazy Tom Cruise nose or crooked smile with a Katie Holmes cheekbone and platter-sized eyes and you should get some crazy-looking baby. Not necessarily an asian baby with lots and lots of hair.

Green Light. Red Light.

So one of my students is absolutely obsessed with traffic lights. He never stops talking about traffic lights. This is slightly more disturbing/annoying given the fact that there really isn't all that much to say about traffic lights.

I have seen little boys obsess over trucks, or baseball cards, or dinosaurs, but never traffic lights. I had a classmate in first grade who knew everything there was to know about fire extinguishers -- incidentally, he would do a Steve Urkelesque "Did somebody say cheese???" (except substitute "fire extinguishers" for "cheese") query almost every day. But fire extinguishers seem slightly more interesting since there is that whole fire-rescue and chemical aspect to it. It's more flashy.

But a traffic light?

Yesterday we were writing autobiographies and he mentioned his love for traffic lights no less than three times. Today he pointed out that a bar graph we had drawn looked similar to a special kind of traffic light that shows the directions you can turn (he gave me its technical name which I don't remember). And as he was leaving school today he informed me that he likes all sorts of traffic signs, but the traffic signal is his favorite.

Lucky for him, his mother also told me today that he will be getting a traffic light for his room on his birthday in a couple of weeks. That'll be one happy kid.

Me? I'm obsessed with candy.

Return of the Bunny Man.

As most of you know, I teach at an elementary school in inner-city Baltimore. What that means is that while I have an arsenal of cute, funny, etc. stories to tell about my kids, I also have a number of flat-out depressing stories to tell. I generally try to stay away from the depressing stories on my blog, but every once in a while a story comes along that I feel like sharing. This one falls into the bizarre and depressing category.

Every year (well, at least for the past 3 years that I have taught at my school) we get visited by the "Bunny Man". The kids often refer to the "Bunny Man" much in the way that the "Boogieman" was referred to in my childhood. An important difference between the two, however, is that the Bunny Man actually does exist.

The Bunny Man is a middle-aged man (also a known sex offender) who likes to terrorize our neighborhood and our school by running around naked except for big boots and some bunny ears. While he has been caught on school premises before by police, he always manages to find a way back. Also, he only seems to come out when it rains.

Today, he tried to sneak into the gym while some of our 2nd graders were there. Luckily, our heroic gym teacher managed to force him out and alerted the school. Within seconds the entire place was on lockdown while the Bunny Man ran around aimlessly in the playground. For ten minutes I acted like a fool to attract my student's attention and keep them from looking out of the window (it worked). By the time the police arrived he had already disappeared into the woods.

As serious as it is, what worries me most is how "normal" it all seems to me now. When I first heard that he was back my first reaction was to roll my eyes and feel like the new school year had officially begun. I cannot begin to imagine how big a deal something like this would have been in my elementary school growing up. My own students, on the other hand, encounter the Bunny Man (and other things they should not be encountering) on a semi-regular basis and all I can do is try my hardest to keep them safe for the 7 hours I have them every day.

And hopefully they'll learn a thing or two...

P.S. The bunny picture is just there for cuteness. It's semi-related, right??

Crikey.

Just read that Steve Irwin (aka: The Crocodile Hunter) was killed today in a freak accident. Apparently, he was filming an underwater documentary when a stingray barb went straight through his heart. They say it's a "freak accident" because apparently it's pretty rare for that to actually happen.

Does anyone else find it extremely ironic that after all of the deadly snakes and massive crocodiles etc. that Steve Irwin has poked and prodded in the past, he was actually killed by a stringray? I do. While I don't think I ever watched Steve Irwin outside of a few internet clips and those movie commercials from a long time ago this news really saddens me. After seeing him escape death so many times, people begin to think that he's invincible or that those animals that he loved so much would not be the ones to kill him. Crikey.

Not for Vegetarians.

I discovered this blog a couple of days ago, and while it is disturbing and gross, I am completely fascinated by it. I think I like it mostly because a cat once adopted my family and regularly brought us "gifts" much like Jeff does. I love the idea that cats would present their owners with delicious morsels of food, and then proceed to devour it all except for the grossest parts. I thought the gesture encapsulated the nature of cats and their generosity very well.

Time for Bed.

Just got back from watching Little Miss Sunshine. It was awesome. Go see it.

Jamie is now harrassing our cat by putting stuff on him...and apparently it's now "stuff of my fiancee" time. Yawn. It must be the end of a long day.

And now Jamie is moonwalking in his boxers while humming "Superfreak".

A Diversity Breakthrough.

So today I learned that I may actually have some racial diversity in my classroom! For the past two years my class (and my entire school) has been 100% African-American. Today one of my students told me a secret: he's half Asian.

My first reaction was one of surprise as he actually used the word "Asian" rather than Chinese -- which is the only form of Asian that most of my school population seems to know. He then added: "Don't tell anyone. I only told you because I can tell that you're half-Asian too." Sadly, when I asked from where his Asian half had descended he shrugged and said he didn't know.

I don't know why exactly, but this excites me.

Class Quote.

Almost busted out laughing today.

Ms. U: Let's think of the consequences of our actions. If we are walking down the hall loudly, what are some of the consequences of that to other people?

Demar: We might interrupt other classes.

Deasia: People might think we're not the best class.

Dre'Kwon: Someone real old like Mrs. ***** might be walking up the hall and we'll give her a heart attack because we'll scare her!

Keyanna: OOOOOOH! That's what I was going to say!

The thought that two people were thinking that cracks me up.

Revisiting Room 107.

So here are some pictures of my classroom sans scholars. Let's just say that it is still not completely ready, but that I am just pretending that it is.
















Yes, those are tennis balls on the bottom of each and every chair. It's to protect my beautiful, beautiful, beautiful tile floor which was installed mid-way through last year. It was promised in the previous summer. In the top-right corner you can see my brand-new television/dvd/VHS player which was installed on the last day of school last year. It was also promised the previous summer. Finally the walls are the bright, stimulating celery green color that I painted them last summer. Let's just say this room has been in-progress for two years...and it finally has all of the pieces it needs.

Well. Except for the GIANT kid-sized hole I have in one of my walls.

Seriously though, my school is beautiful. We have giant classrooms -- mine overlooks the park next door. I currently only have *ahem* 11 students (I have 15 on my roster, but 4 haven't shown yet -- they probably will after Labor Day weekend). We have incredibly dedicated teachers, and we have reading materials up that wazoo (math, social studies and science are non-existent though). I have FOUR working computers with internet access (thanks to a lovely grant), working AC, and lots and lots of great children's books.

These kids will succeed.

(And I know that this post is really hard to follow, but I am not in a mental state to correct it right now. Too much playing teacher today.)

Running on Empty.

I am falling asleep as I write this. Just barely survived my first day of teaching -- spent a full 13 hours at work. Death to anyone who gets between me and my pillow tonight.

The day went as smoothly as could be expected given how little I was prepared. The kids will be...interesting...it was a good day. BUT, relative to most first days of school it wasn't so great. I actually had to raise my voice (ON THE FIRST DAY!). This does not bode well for the year. Although it might provide for some interesting blog fodder.

More Bahamas pictures: (and if you want to see some really good ones, check out ScoobyDrew today)






















Man. I am cringing as I look at Nick's bare feet on those rocks. Yeowch.