Wet Cement.

Am I a bad person for thinking this is hilarious? Yeah. I probably shouldn’t have gone there.

…

How about this one?

I just ate a lot of applesauce. Now I feel kind of sick. Have you ever read “Matilda” by Roald Dahl? Do you remember the part of the book when the mean ol’ principal (who would vault children across the playground by their pigtails) – Ms. Trunchbull (?) – ordered a boy to eat an entire chocolate cake in front of the school? And he was scared! But then everyone started cheering him on! And then he began eating faster! And then he finished! And Ms. Trunchbull was so mad that she thwacked him on the head with the cake platter! But he was so full of chocolate cake that it bounced off of him as if he were a bag of wet cement! And everyone cheered for him! Yay for Matilda!!! Anyway, I’m like that boy, except instead of chocolate cake, I’m full of Mott’s Unsweetened Applesauce.

Now I can see that Roald Dahl was a little weird. But creative.