Blacklist Update.

My hand inexplicably smells like coffee right now. It is as if my hand had been placed in a vat of it while I slept and marinated all night. This is odd because: (a) I haven’t had coffee for a couple of days and it wouldn’t make senses for my hands to smell like coffee, (b) I have washed my hands many many times since I noticed the coffee smell and it still won’t go away and (c) I did eat tuna today and one would think that if my hands were to smell like anything, it would be tuna.

This bothers me because it means that I must have unwittingly stuck my hand in someone else’s spilled coffee…which is gross. Speaking of which…the other day, I was standing next to some girl bussing her tray when she dropped her glass of orange juice. Since it was mostly empty, it did this spectacular spin move all the way to the ground, splashing its contents all over my white skirt. I helped the girl pick up her cup and clean up the floor. Bitch didn’t even say “thank you” or “sorry about the skirt”. She goes on my blacklist.

So does the drinker of whoever’s coffee is on my hand.

So does my roommate who is randomly yelling out lines from random hip hop songs. What’s the point of wearing headphones if you’re going to scream out every. word. of. the. song. DELETED.