Why Rio Sucks.

I was just jammin' to Postal Service when my MP3 player decided to DIE. It DIED. Normally, this wouldn't bother me but Rio went bankrupt since I received this very generous gift, meaning no warranty, no support, no hope. Also, they went bankrupt for a reason: because their products DIE out of nowhere.

Help me. I don't know what to do without my music...my livelihood. Did I mention that all of my CDs were painstakingly transferred to this thing? Also, many hit songs from the 80s that I snagged from Napster before it went under -- I mean, how can I replace those? Buy an actual Hall and Oates CD???

I'm supposed to get my paycheck by December 15th -- do I really want to blow it on a new MP3 player? (Yes.)

[starts scouring for an iPod on eBay].

I kidd. But, if I don't get this baby up and running...and worse, if I don't get my music off of it by Wednesday then I'll be real sadlike.